There was a fierce storm. Yells and shouts surrounded her, but she only heard the deafening crash of thunder, the pouring rain, and the shrieking wind. In her mind she saw a huge ship, with enormous waves threatening to swallow the vessel whole. She had a vague feeling that something was wrong, not just the storm, but a danger lurking nearby. The feeling grew until even the noise couldn’t distract her. She found herself screaming along with the wind, but no one heard her.
Suddenly, like a lightning bolt, a streak of light shot through the heaving water towards the ship. When she opened her mouth to cry out, it was too late. The ship blasted to pieces, and she shielded her face with her arms as intense heat engulfed her.
Rachael’s eyes snapped open. She was gasping and covered with sweat. She lay there on the couch, trembling from the intensity of the nightmare that had haunted her since the day she got her scar. She stood up suddenly and felt the room spin. With a groan she sank back, her head buried in her hands. Her eyes, wide and unseeing, stared at the plush carpet floor as if she could see through the material, trying to see what was beyond, trying to remember.
Since Jake left the household, the years seemed suddenly empty for Rachael. She also had no reason to hide her hostility towards her father any longer, who continued to antagonize her for her ‘inappropriate’ behaviour, or simply ignore her altogether. No matter what she did, how well she did at school, it went unnoticed. More puzzling and hurting of all, her mother didn’t seem to care less- all she did was agree with her husband. Cassie seemed to take it in stride- Rachael couldn’t. Thus she alienated herself from her parents, becoming more rebellious and slowly erecting a wall around herself, one that no one could penetrate. Only Cassie could come through, and Jake- when he was around, which wasn’t often.
That was the start of the arguments. Rachael broke her silence and she had plenty to say to her chauvinistic parent. Sometimes she would deliberately goad him into shouting at her so that she had some indication that she wasn’t talking to a rock.
That stormy afternoon, they were arguing again. Rachael had been accepted into the Navy; her father was mad. She discovered that he had burnt the letter and the chance she had been waiting for so long had slipped through her fingers. Furious, she shouted, “All you care about is your own damned reputation! You selfish, egocentric bastard, if I was a man you wouldn’t stop me!“
He rose and slapped her face. “How dare you!” he roared.
Rachael didn’t reply. She quietly stood up from the dinner table and walked out. A minute later, they heard the door slam.
That was the last time Rachael ever saw her father.
Rachael told him, leaving out as much detail as possible. “I couldn’t stay,” she said flatly. “And I’m not going back either.”
Jake looked at her thoughtfully. “And what are you going to do now?”
“I’m going to join the Navy.” Rachael shrugged.
Jake looked at her for a long time. He nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.”
The past was over. She had her future to live.
And then there was Jonathan.
They were having another fight.
She tried to get in touch with Jake- a note finally arrived for her. It read “…Meet down at the bar. Don’t be late. Jake.”
Jake had been more than surprised to see her. “Rocky? What the hell are you doing here? How did you find-” seeing the look on her face, he stopped. “What happened?”
And that was how she got in. Jake was right- it was tough. The training and workload left her completely drained after each day. It was even more difficult on her because she was…she was a woman. Simple as that. She had to deal with both the hard training and the derisive attitude towards her. Proving that she was good as any of them was difficult, and she endured the days with gritted teeth and determination to succeed. Years flew by; five, six, and seven… by that time Jake was a Commander- and the year Rachael got promoted to Lt. Commander, news reached her that her father had passed away.
Jonathan…Rachael squeezed her eyes shut briefly before opening them again. You are never gone completely, are you? She asked silently. Everything I do…it always comes back to you, Jon. Can you let go? Can I let go?
She rose, dry-eyed, and once again pushed it away. She knew she had to live with it. There was no point in brooding over it. And yet…
She walked over and threw the curtains open, letting the bright sunlight in. She stared at the sparkling ocean, lost in thought. In memories.
(Well, that was educational, wasn’t it? When I read through this I thought I was under delusion attack for a moment; I told you I couldn’t get to the point. Anyway, there’s a bit of background history for you. It’s eating up the chapters, but I think it’s worth it- even though it took a hell of a time getting it all down O_o;; Anyway, this is all leading up to something, so just be patient.)
