Chapter
19: Getting Away.
Clare had gone down to the pool
in her lunch break to do a few laps hoping to blow away a few cobwebs.
She was on her 7th lap when she heard a muffled voice. She stopped at the
deep end of the pool and looked around to see Sara and Jason stood the
other end looking back. She smiled and climbed from the pool. "How's it
going, Mr. 'I'm a big model adored by millions of women'?" she asked as
she picked up a towel and wrapped it around her waist.
"I'm good!" Jason replied
with a smile. "How about you? Rose told me about what's been going on with
JC."
"Oh well, I'll get over it,
after all I am unofficially engaged to you!" she continued with a smile,
"Although I could do with a vacation!"
"Why don't you join me in
Spain next week?"
"I wouldn't joke. I just might
think you're serious and take you up on it!"
"Well I'm going so you should
come!" Sara said encouraging her. "We could hit some clubs, sleep all day,
pick up some Spanish men…"
"I'm sworn off men. I'm mending
a broken heart, the last thing I need is for someone to finish me off completely!"
Clare said playfully.
"Not all of us are that bad!"
Jason said defensively.
"I know. But not all men are
as perfect as you!"
"Okay so we don't pick up
any men, you should still come. It'd do you good to get away for a while."
Sara continued.
Clare stood and thought about
it. She did need to get away. She needed to try and put her feelings for
JC behind her. It'd be hard but she had to try for the sake of her own
sanity. "Okay," she said with a smile, "I'm in!"
~~~~~ A Couple of Days
Later ~~~~~
Clare stood in her bedroom sorting
through the clothes she was going to be taking with her. She hadn't told
anyone she was going away, except work, she'd asked for some compassionate
leave and they had told her to take as much time as she needed as long
as it didn't extend the six weeks she had owed her.
Her flight had originally
been for that night but they called her that morning and said it was brought
forward a couple of hours. She was desperately trying to pack everything
in the 2 hours she had left when she heard a knock come at the door.
"Hi Chris." She said as she
opened the door to him.
"Sara told us all what you've
got planned." He said as he followed her into her bedroom.
"When?"
"Last night." He answered
sitting on her bed.
"I need to get him out of
my head and I won't be able to do that hangin' around here." She explained
as she folded a dress and put it in her suitcase, "Seeing him everyday
is killing me. I got to try and get over him."
"How long you going for?"
Clare shrugged, "There's 18
months of feeling's I've got to get over or at least try to block out so
I could be gone a while."
"You don't have to go. I'll
talk to JC see if I can't…"
"No Chris! Josh has made his
decision; it's time I accepted it. I gotta get away from here and straighten
out my head."
"There's nothing I can do
to change your mind?"
"Not this time. It's just
something I need to do."
"Your flight's at 7, isn't
it?"
"It was but they've had to
bring it forward, I'm leaving in an hour."
"I'll have to ring the guys
and tell them to be at the airport early then."
"Chris," Clare started as
he picked up the phone on her bedside, "Not JC, please. I don't want him
there. The last thing I need is for the person I'm trying to get over to
be there to say goodbye."
Chris hung up the phone, "He's
gonna be hurt when he knows you left without saying goodbye."
"He'll get over it."
"You're not gonna throw the
friendship away are you? You guys are so close."
"Were! We were really close
until…" she sighed and sat on the bed next to Chris. "You know, he'll always
hold a special place here." She said pointing to her heart.
Chris wrapped his arm around
Clare; "He really does love you, if she hadn't been pregnant…"
Clare's eyes widened, "She's
pregnant?" her chest become heavy. "Well that's it then. All my hopes of…
oh forget it."
"Hopes of him and Alyson breaking
up to make way for you?" Chris said finishing her sentence somehow knowing
what she was thinking.
Clare closed her eyes and
nodded.
"Reality!" she stated suddenly
as she stood up and began packing again.
~~~~~ At The Airport
~~~~~
Clare heard her flight number
being called as she stood among her friends, "Well I guess that's us."
She said looking at Sara.
"Are you sure about this?"
Justin asked her, as she stood in front of him ready to say her goodbyes.
"Yeah. It hurts too much to
stay."
"But what if Libby comes out
of her coma?" he asked desperately trying to get her to change her mind.
"Don't worry squirt, I have
a sixth sense when it comes to Libby. I'll be back in plenty of time to
see that happen."
Clare put her arms around
Justin and pulled him into a hug.
"I'm gonna miss you shouting
at me." He said with a smile.
"I'll call you and shout down
the phone okay?" she said smiling back.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Clare hugged Lisa and told
Joey to make sure she looked after herself. She hugged Jenny and told her
to send her best wishes back to her mother when she went home and then
she turned to Jamie and Chris. "Now I'm counting on you two to keep everyone
else in line."
"I don't think I'll be as
good at it as you." Jamie responded.
"You'll do just fine but if
you need any extra tips just call me, I'll always have my cell phone with
me." She smiled as she heard the last call for the flight. "Gotta go!"
she said hugging Jamie, "Chris, I'll call you soon."
~~~~~*~~~~~
As JC returned from the bathroom
he heard Alyson on the phone.
"I know but how am I going
to tell him that the baby isn't his? He is so excited about becoming a
father, I can't just break his heart like that!" he overheard.
He felt like he'd been cheated
of air, finding it hard to breathe. After all he'd given up. Now, after
all the hurt he'd been through telling Clare, now he was finding out it
was all for nothing, the child wasn't even his.
"You just did," he said from
the doorway loud enough for her to hear.
"Josh!" she called as she
turned to see him walking out of the door.
He got into his jeep and started
the engine; he needed to see Clare before her flight that night. He drove
to the fan club, she wasn't there. He drove to the apartment, no answer
so he got back into his jeep and called Chris on his cell phone.
"Where are you?" JC asked
as soon as he heard the older man's voice.
"The airport." Chris responded
simply.
"The airport? But the flight
isn't until…" suddenly it hit him, "She's taking an earlier flight?"
"Yeah."
"Stop her, I've got to see
her before she leaves!" JC hung up the phone and drove toward the airport
as fast as he could without breaking the speed limit.
Chris looked up at Clare as
she walked away from them, she had checked in and was walking to the ramp.
"Clare!" he called to her.
"What is it?" Jamie asked
him curiously.
"JC. He wants to talk to her
before she goes." He replied before they both began to call Clare's name,
much to the amusement of the others. But she didn't hear them and soon
enough she was on the plane.
~~~~~*~~~~~
JC got to the airport minutes
after and ran toward the gate but got there to find everyone watching Clare's
plane leaving the runway. He sighed heavily and hung his head.
"Sorry man. We tried to stop
her!" Chris said tapping him on the shoulder.
JC slumped down into a seat
and rested his head in his hands, "I needed to tell her…" he whispered
to himself as everyone left him alone, "I love her."
If she only knew what
I knew but couldn't say
If she could just see
the part of me that I hid away
If I could just hold
her in my arms again and just say I love you
But she's gone away;
maybe she'd stay, if she only knew
If she could just feel
what I feel here in my heart
She'd know it was real,
pure and true right from the start
But I'm just a man
who didn't understand what she was going through
But she's gone away;
maybe she'd stay, if she only knew
And how? How did I
let her get away?
'Cos love, love is
so easy to feel but the hardest thing to say
If she could just see
what I see when I close my eyes
All that I dream, surely
she would realise
But like a fool I waited
much too long to let her know the truth
Now she's gone away,
maybe she'd stay, if she only knew
Won't you tell me,
tell me how? How did I let her get away?
'Cos I guess that love,
love is so easy to feel but the hardest thing to say
If she only knew what
I knew but could not say
If she could just see
the part of me that I hid away
If I could just hold
her in my arms again and just say I love you
But she's gone away;
maybe she'd stay, if she only knew
Chapter
20: Without Her.
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