93 Ways to be Annoying

• Adjsust thse tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
• Drum on every availale surface.
• Sing teh Batman theme incessantly.
• Staple papers in the middle of the page.
• Ask 800 operators for dayer
• Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings
• Sew anti-theft detector striped into people's backpacks.
• Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
• Write the surprise ending to a novel on the first page.
• Specify that your drine-through order is "drive-in".
• Set alarms for random times.
• Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
• Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavour off.
• Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
• Instead of "Gallo", serve "Jack Daniels" next Thanksgiving.
• Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking noise".
• Honk and wave to strangers
• Dress only in clothes coloured Hunter's Orange.
• Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
• Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts fo rental movies
• Wear your pants backwards.
• Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints.
• Begin all your sentances with "ooh la la!"
• Rouse your rommmates from slummber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music!"
• Leave someones printer in compressed-itlaic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
• ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
• only type in lowercase.
• Buy a large quantity of orange traffic comes and reroute whole streets.
• Pay for dinner in pennies.
• Tie jingle bells to all your colthes.
• Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
• Write "X- BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
• Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy therios.
• Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "Whast?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
• Light road flares on a birthday cake.
• Wander around the restaurant, asking othe diners for their parsley.
• Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
• Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
• Push all the flat lego pieces toghther tightly.
• At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
• When Christmas carollin, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smell" until physiclly restrained.
• Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
• As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
• Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
• Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
• Leave your turn signal on for miles.
• Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
• Try playing William Tll overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly donw, announce "no, wait, I messed it up". and repeat.
• Drive half a block.
• Name your dog "Dog".
• Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
• Ask people wht gender they are.
• Reply to everything someone says with "tha's what YOU think."
• Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place teh cookie parts back in the tray.
• Cultivate a Norwegion accent. If Norwegion, create a southern drawl.
• Forget the puchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
• Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case of the big one comes".
• Follow a few paces behind somone, spraying everything they touch with a can of lysol.
• Deliberately hum songs that will rmian lodged in co-workers brains such as "Felis Navidad", the Archies "sugar" or the Mr. Rodgers theme song.
• While making presentations, occationally bob your head like a parakeet.
• Lie obiviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
• Make beeping noses when a large person backs up.
• Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
• Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
• Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
• Chew on pens that that you've borrowed.
• Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
• Wear a LOT of cologne.
• Ask to "interface" with someone.
• Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and clain the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
• Sing along at the opera.
• Mow your lawn with scissors.
• At a golf tournament, chat"seing-batatatatatat-suhwing-batta!"
• Finish all your sentences with thw words "in accordance with prophesy".
• Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
• Go to a poetry recital and ask why wach poem doesn't rhyme.
• Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
• Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
• Stare at atatic on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".
• Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
• Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
• Silences with te impression that youll be saying more any moment.
• Never make eye contact.
• Never break eye contact.
• Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
• Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn
• Give a play-by-play accccount of a person's every action in a nasal Harry Carrey voice.
• Say random numbers while someone is counting.
• Make appointments for the 32nd of April.
• Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
• Send fifty copies of the list with my linkt to everyone you know.
• If you see a bounck of people standing around and having a conversation late at nigh, run towards them with your hands up screaming"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! NOBRAKES! NO BRAKES!!!!" then make a shortstop screech your sneakers on the ground. works for everyting.) and say, "Oh. Must be the full moon" if someone points out that there's not no full noon you say sarcastically, "yeah, like your an astronomer. How wouled you know?!?"
• Take yp karate, say things like Cha-Cha of HE-YAH!!! all the time. Use moves that go with them.
• Get yourself some funny title like "catain" of "your royal majesty...king (insert your name here.)" or maybe "cheif of boriznawl 7". be creativehb