1994 New York Theater Workshop Rent Libretto


Act I
Voice Mail #1 Rent You Okay Honey? Rent #2 You're a Fool Today 4 U Do a Little Business Female to Female Come to the Meeting/He Says Right Brain Light My Candle Christmas Bells Voice Mail #2 Female to Female #2 Another Day Christmas Bells #2 Santa Fe I'll Cover You Will I? You'll Get Over It Christmas Bells #3 Over the Moon La Vie Boheme AZT Break/Maureen and Joanne's Fight I Should Tell You

Act II
Voice Mail #3 Seasons of Love Out Tonight Seasons of Love #2 Voice Mail #4 Without You Voice Mail #5 Contact I'll Cover You #2 Goodbye Love Real Estate Open Road Voice Mail #7 Christmas Bells #4 Rent #3 Finale




VOICE MAIL #1

(phone rings)

ROGER & MARK
"Speak!"

DAVE
(into phone) Roger, it's Dave, (to customer) $4.50,
(into phone) this is the last time you've left me without a bartender
(to customer) two Buds (into phone) don't bother coming in next week
(to customer) rolling rock (into phone) you're 86ed!

(phone rings)

ROGER & MARK
"Speak!"

MARK'S MOM
That was a very loud beep
I don't even know if this is working
Mark -- Mark -- are you there
Are you screening your calls --
It's mom
We wanted to call and say we love you
And we'll miss you tomorrow
Cindy and the kids are here -- send their love
Oh, I hope you like the hot plate
Just don't leave it on, dear
When you leave the house
Oh, and Mark
Your father got a call from Chemical Bank
I don't know how they got our number
but we meant it when we said that you're cut off
...love Mom

(phone rings)

ROGER & MARK
"Speak!"

BENNY
Dudes, it's Benny
I know it's Christmas, but I need the cash
Something big, I'm on my way
Don't block the box a-hole! Later...

Top

RENT

MARK
If I threw my body out the window
brain all splattered guts all steaming in the snow
I wouldn't have to finish shooting films
that no one wants to show
Rent!

ROGER
If I studied something that paid a salary
wouldn't have to do the shit I do for cash
My guts all steaming, fuck this dreaming
speed, metal rocks, songs for the trash

MARK
The wheels aren't turning

ROGER
It's worthy of burning

MARK & ROGER
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
Last month's rent

ROGER
If I took a hammer, tapped my forehead
wouldn't have to wake and stagger through the week
or hear a boring, grinning, whoring, brainless, dull producer speak
Rent!

MARK

If I slid the bars back
hurled my body through the cracked glass
on some crack-head's cardboard bed
Maureen could kick my frozen frame
shout my name, and then drop dead

ROGER
She's got a new man?
What's his name?

MARK
Joanne

MARK & ROGER
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
Last month's rent

Top

YOU OKAY HONEY?

ANGEL
You okay, honey?

COLLINS
I'm afraid so

ANGEL
They get any money?

COLLINS
No, had none to get
But they purloined my coat
Well you missed a sleeve! - thanks

ANGEL
Hell, it's Christmas Eve

MAUREEN
That's the stage, Joanne? Kiss!
Remind me when I stress forgive me

JOANNE
That was last Tuesday night, Maureen

ANGEL
I'm Angel

COLLINS
Indeed, an angel of the first degree
Friends call me Collins -- Tom Collins
Nice tree

Top

RENT #2

ROGER
If they toss my carcass in the dumpster
my fingers wouldn't bleed and blister and scar
My head wouldn't pound from the sound
of garbage streaming out of my guitar

MARK
If I killed myself or studied business
no more parents spitting up on my career
So are you showing?
Where's this going?
Home for Christmas?

MARK & ROGER
Not this year!

MARK
We're hungry and frozen

ROGER
Some life that we've chosen

MARK & ROGER
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
Last month's rent
This month's rent
Next month's rent
Rent rent rent rent rent
How we gonna pay rent
How we gonna pay rent

Top

YOU'RE A FOOL

ROGER
You're off?

MARK
You wanna wait here for Benny?

ROGER
Is there anything else to do?

MARK
Anything but Maureen's show

ROGER
You wanna go? Yes?

MARK
I guess

ROGER For someone cool, you're a fool

MARK
I know

ROGER
But her show's not `til one

MARK
We'll do something else, it's Christmas

ROGER
Oh fun! Some of us don't have time for that

MARK
Aw!

ROGER
Some of us get writer's block

MARK
What a crock

ROGER
Some of our parents don't pay our bills

MARK
Mr. Negative, cuz he's HIV Positive!

ROGER
You can't know, give me some latitude

MARK
Maybe you're blocked because of that attitude

ROGER
I doubt you'd be so brave
Hell, you're scared to see your ex

MARK
I'm a chicken shit
A hypocrite -- I admit

ROGER
I rest my case
For someone cool you're a fool

MARK
Let's make a deal

ROGER
No deals

MARK
I'll see Maureen if you come out tonight

ROGER
I don't fit in anymore, all right!
Anyway, I'm working

ROGER
It's scratchy

MARK
It recalls something, but it's catchy

ROGER
The inspired zone of my brain has atrophied
but I need to leave a mark before I croak

MARK
Not funny!

ROGER
No joke
I wish that I could turn the days I wasted
toying with dope fiends and groupies
into days spent obsessing over details
the way that you do

MARK
If you only knew
I spend so much time obsessing, it's depressing
For someone cool, you're the fool
You want to rediscover the spark
leave a mark, share something with someone
Face your fears

ROGER
What's that I hear?
Maureen, did you say?

MARK
Touche

MARK & ROGER
For someone cool, you're a...
(knock on the door) Shit!
(another knock) Hi!
(another knock) The lock!
(another knock) Damn!

Top

TODAY 4 U

MARK & ROGER Bustelo -- Marlboro
Banana by the bunch
A box of Cap'n Crunch will taste so good

COLLINS
And firewood

MARK
Must be Santa Claus

COLLINS
Hold your applause

MARK & ROGER
Collins!

COLLINS
Playing Anne Frank with your landlord?
Better have some Stoli

MARK & ROGER
Oh holy night
You struck gold at MIT?

COLLINS
They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality
Which I now impart
To the couch potatoes at New York University
Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve
Whose music is the purest on the bow'ry, I believe
A true member of the Alphabet City avant-garde
Angel Dumott Schunard!

ANGEL
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

COLLINS
And you should hear her beat!

ROGER
You earned this on the street?

ANGEL
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A
When a lady in a limousine drove my way
She said, "Darling -- be a dear -- I haven't slept in a year
I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear"
"This akita, Evita, just won't shut up
I believe if you play non-stop that pup
Will breathe its very last high-strung breath
I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death

Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

We agreed on a fee -- a thousand dollar guarantee
Tax-free, and a bonus if I trim her tree
Now who could foretell that it would go so well
But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell
After an hour - Evita -- in all her glory
On the window ledge of that 23rd story
Like Thelma & Louise did when they got the blues
Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews

Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
I said: Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

Top

DO A LITTLE BUSINESS

BENNY
The checkbook, Allison, the checkbook, Allison, the checkbook,
Not my datebook, for the money, Allison, honey, Allison,
The batteries are running out of gas
Just find me, Allison, the checkbook, Allison,
Otherwise Allison, it's my ass
And so this is Christmas -- Oh ho ho ho, dudes
Feed the world, let them know it's Christmas time
Hey you bum -- Yeah, you, move over
Get your ass off that range rover
Boys I'm double parked

MARK
Benny

BENNY
How's your project? -- Good

MARK
You yuppie scum

BENNY
How's your project? Good, you've worked how long?

MARK
Six years

BENNY
And for what?

MARK
That's not the point

BENNY
You kill me
Six years, Allison, since I blew this dump
What'd I make a million?
I just did a little business

MARK
Did a little business

BENNY
What's wrong with that?
I bought the building

MARK
Bought the building

BENNY
I bought the lot next door
I bought another

COLLINS
And another

BENNY
And now I need to buy one more

COLLINS
Just like Monopoly

ANGEL
I love Monopoly, I'll be the dog

COLLINS
I`ll be the hat

MARK
What's next? Little green houses?

COLLINS
Plastic houses

ROGER
A little red plastic hotel

BENNY
A video franchise

MARK, ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Video franchise?

BENNY
The deal your rent will underwrite
One last building on the block, then sell
Cough it up! Tonight's my night!
And tell Maureen

MARK
We aren't speaking

BENNY
Her protest better end by two
We're putting in fences

COLLINS
On Christmas Day?

BENNY
That wasn't me

MARK, ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Then who?

BENNY
It's none of your business

MARK
None of our business?

BENNY
Tonight your business is the rent

MARK & ROGER
Yeah

COLLINS
That your jeep?

BENNY
My Range Rover

ROGER
Perfect car for urban play

BENNY
We use it too, to get away

MARK
East Hampton is just like the outback

COLLINS
L-i-e, like a safari

ROGER
We should buy one

MARK
We should buy two

BENNY
Now then

ANGEL
Now then

COLLINS
Buy ten

MARK, ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Bye-bye!

ROGER
Wait, what happened to the Jag?

BENNY
With the wife and the dog it was a drag

ANGEL
Oh drag, what kind of hag,
I mean dog, do you have?

BENNY
Evita's an Akita

MARK, ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

BENNY
Gotta do a little business

MARK
Do a little business

BENNY
Can we?

MARK & ROGER
We can

BENNY
November, December, January. Brings the sum to...

ANGEL
I can't believe that they are out on Christmas Eve!

BENNY
What?

ANGEL
A tow truck

BENNY
The city needs the reven... A tow truck? You fuck!
A tow truck, Allison, a tow truck, Allison,
A tow truck, tow truck, tow truck, Allison,
A tow truck, Allison, A tow truck, Allison,
A tow truck, tow truck, tow truck, tow truck, tow truck

Top

FEMALE TO FEMALE

MAUREEN
Female to female, female to female, female to female
Joanne, we said female to female
When we left the house, what cable did we say to pack?
No, that's a headphone jack

JOANNE
Yes, Maureen

MAUREEN
No, the plugs are red and black

JOANNE
Yes, Maureen

MAUREEN
Did you check the knapsack?

JOANNE
Yes, Maureen

MAUREEN
Then you'll have to go back

JOANNE
I guess, Maureen

MAUREEN
We said RCA

JOANNE
Uh-huh

MAUREEN
We said RCA

JOANNE
You're right

MAUREEN
To connect the sampler to the digital delay

JOANNE
Let's not get uptight

MAUREEN
To run from the amp to the video display
Am I such a dumb cow?

JOANNE
No!

MAUREEN
Should I take poison now?

JOANNE
No!

MAUREEN
God, this is going worse than we expected

JOANNE
I know, Maureen

MAUREEN
How can I perform if we're unconnected?

JOANNE
I'll go, Maureen

MAUREEN
It's times like these, I really appreciate Mark

Top

COME TO THE MEETING/ HE SAYS

MARK
Now's our chance

ANGEL
Mr. Finance lived here?!

COLLINS
Before the real estate career

MARK
We can't stay

ROGER
Benny was a dilettante
Benny met a debutante
Go ahead, I'll catch up

MARK
No way!

COLLINS
Come to the meeting

ROGER
What meeting?

ANGEL
He lived here?

COLLINS
Support group - P.W.A.

MARK
Benny'll be back, come!

ROGER
I don't need 12 steps

MARK
I know
Benny, he'll make us pay

MARK & ROGER
For someone cool, he's a fool

ROGER
He kicks us out, we move, so what?

COLLINS
But, where? Do you know?

ROGER
I got a car
So as far as April's bucket'll go
Santa Fe, Austin...

MARK
We couldn't make Boston!

ANGEL
April?

MARK
Suicidal girl who od'ed
He says he loved her, what he loves is to bleed
Over two years since she left that car key
But he never drives it

ROGER
That's enough

ANGEL
Dinner's on me

MARK
First the meeting, then Maureen's show

ROGER
See you at the restaurant

MARK
But the meeting!
(Roger hits Mark)
Oh! He says he'll meet us at the restaurant
He says he wants to stay and play his guitar, he says
He wants to be obsessed with art like me, he says
He wants to re-develop the creative side of his brain, he says
He doesn't need support groups

ROGER
I say he'll bring his camera

MARK
He says he doesn't know why I go when I'm not sick or queer

ROGER
But it's to make a career!

MARK
He says he doesn't think that love is possible anymore

ROGER
It's not!

ROGER & MARK
One day I'll/he'll fix that car she left me/him and fly

MARK
I don't believe a word
I don't believe a word
I don't believe a word he says

Top

RIGHT BRAIN

ROGER
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this night...

The right brain
How do I find the right brain
I lost my map
The right brain
It's when I get locked in
Find the right brain
Like driving north, Pacific Coast Highway
from San Simian to Big Sur
Find the right brain
The sight of the sky
The right brain
The sound of the ocean, the ocean
Find the right brain
Hugging the curves
the right brain
As the sun sets
The right brain
Through the trees into the sea
Time flies -- Time dies
Right brain
Can't find the right brain
I can't find the right brain
Right brain
Find the right brain
Like driving her head over the edge of the bed
Breathing the only sound
Find the right brain
The touch of her skin
The right brain
The sound of the ocean, the ocean
Find the right brain
Hugging the curves
The right brain
As you enter the right brain
Through her thighs into the sea
Time flies
I never needed to concentrate before
Time dies

(a knock on the door)

The door

Top

LIGHT MY CANDLE

ROGER
I'm not going

MIMI
Got a light?

ROGER
I know you?
You're -- you're shivering

MIMI
It's nothing
They turned off my heat
And I'm just a little
Weak on my feet
Would you light my candle?
What are you staring at?

ROGER
Nothing
Your hair in the moonlight
You look familiar
Can you make it?

MIMI
Just haven't eaten much today
At least the room stopped spinning
Anyway. What?

ROGER
Nothing
Your smile reminded me of --

MIMI
I always remind people of -- who is she?

ROGER
She died. Her name was April

MIMI
It's out again
Sorry about your friend
Would you light my candle?

ROGER
Well --

MIMI
Yeah. Ow!

ROGER
Oh, the wax -- it's

MIMI
Dripping! I like it -- between my --

ROGER
Fingers! I figured...
Oh, well. Goodnight.

(another knock)

It blew out again?

MIMI
No -- I think that I dropped my stash

ROGER
I know I've seen you out and about
When I used to go out
Your candle's out

MIMI
I'm illin' --
I had it when I walked in the door
It was pure --
Is it on the floor?

ROGER
The floor?

MIMI
They say I have the best ass below 14th street
Is it true?

ROGER
What?

MIMI
You're staring again

ROGER
Oh no!
I mean you do -- have a nice
I mean -- you look familiar

MIMI
Like your dead girlfriend?

ROGER
Only when you smile
But I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else

MIMI
Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club
That's where I work -- I dance -- Help me look

ROGER
Yes!
They used to tie you up --

MIMI
It's a living

ROGER
I didn't recognize you
Without the handcuffs

MIMI
We could light the candle
Oh won't you light the candle

ROGER
Why don't you forget that stuff
You look like you're sixteen

MIMI
I'm nineteen -- but I'm old for my age
I'm just born to be bad

ROGER
I once was born to be bad
I used to shiver like that

MIMI
I have no heat -- I told you

ROGER
I used to sweat

MIMI
I got a cold

ROGER
Uh huh
I used to be a junkie

MIMI
But now and then I like to --

ROGER
Uh huh

MIMI
Feel good

ROGER
Here it -- oh no

MIMI
What's that?

ROGER
Candy bar wrapper

MIMI
We could light the candle
Oh what'd you do with my candle?

ROGER
That was my last match

MIMI
Our eyes'll adjust
Thank God for the moon

ROGER
Maybe it's not the moon at all
I hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street

MIMI
Bah humbug ... bah humbug

ROGER
Cold hands

MIMI
Yours too
Big, like my father's
You wanna dance?

ROGER
With you?

MIMI
No -- with my father

ROGER
I'm Roger

MIMI
They call me
they call me Mimi

Top

CHRISTMAS BELLS

HOMELESS MAN
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Somewhere else
Not here

Top

VOICE MAIL #2


MAUREEN
Hi, you've reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message and don't forget Over the Moon, my performance protesting the 11th Street re-zoning. Tonight at 1 am in the 11th street lot between A and B. Party at Life Cafe to follow. (BEEP)

MR. JEFFERSON
Well, Joanne -- we're off
Call Daisy for our itinerary or Alfred at Pound Ridge
Or Eileen at the state department in a pinch
We'll be at the spa for New Year's
unless the senator changes his mind

MRS. JEFFERSON
The hearings

MR. JEFFERSON
Oh yes -- Muffin
Mummy's confirmation hearing begins on the tenth
We'll need you -- alone -- by the sixth
For the briefings and the luncheon on the eighth

MRS. JEFFERSON
Harold!

MR. JEFFERSON
You hear that?
It's three weeks away
And she's already nervous

MRS. JEFFERSON
I am not!

MR. JEFFERSON
For Mummy's sake, Muffin
No Doc Martens this time and wear a dress
Oh, and Muffin -- have a merry

MRS. JEFFERSON
And a bra!

Top

FEMALE TO FEMALE #2

MAUREEN
Did you check the hall?

JOANNE
I checked

MAUREEN
Underneath the bed?

JOANNE
Right

MAUREEN
At the studio, no RCA's
And we're dead

JOANNE
Hang tight

MAUREEN
The cops are clearing out the lot by morning

JOANNE
It's true, Maureen

MAUREEN
We'll lose our shot
My piece could be a warning

JOANNE
What should I do, Maureen?

MAUREEN
It's times like these I really appreciate Mark

JOANNE
I heard you before

MAUREEN
How can someone so bright
Be so utterly in the dark?

JOANNE
Look, no more!
Isn't it enough that I scratch your every itch?

MAUREEN
Bitch!

JOANNE
Isn't it enough that I pay for all of this?

MAUREEN
Kiss!

JOANNE
Isn't it enough that I put up every day
with a temperamental, selfish, abusive,

MAUREEN
Sexy!

JOANNE
All right, sexy...

MAUREEN
Talented, brilliant

JOANNE
Infuriating

MAUREEN
Funny

JOANNE
Immature

MAUREEN
Post-modern goddess!

JOANNE
And oh-so modest

MAUREEN
Kiss me!

JOANNE
I adore your eyes
I adore your eyes

MAUREEN
And my lousy reviews

JOANNE
And your lousy --

MAUREEN
Hey!

JOANNE
It's one little pen

MAUREEN
I know

JOANNE
So The Times ain't a rag

MAUREEN
Oh no

JOANNE
One day they'll beg to carve a statue of you!

MAUREEN
I love you more each day

JOANNE
I love you, Maureen!

MAUREEN
RCA! On the table
If you love me run home and bring back the cable

JOANNE
I hate you, Maureen!

MAUREEN
Run

JOANNE
Yes, Maureen

MAUREEN
If you fly I promise I will kiss you in a thousand places

JOANNE
The mind races, my queen

MAUREEN
The feet race
The feet race -- go!

JOANNE
Go over your speech

MAUREEN
Go home or I'll screech!

JOANNE & MAUREEN
Female to female, female to female

MAUREEN
My speech: Last night I had this,shit! This what? This dream. Last night I had this dream, last night I had this dream, last night I had this dream, last night I had this...
female to female

Top

ANOTHER DAY

ROGER
Who do you think you are?
Barging in on me and my guitar
Little girl - hey
The door is that way
You better go you know
The fire's out anyway
Take the powder -- take your candle
Your sweet whisper
I just can't handle
Well take your hair in the moonlight
Your brown eyes -- Goodbye, goodnight
I should tell you -- I should tell you
I should tell you -- I should -- no!
Another time -- another place
Our temperature would climb
There'd be a long embrace
We'd do another dance
It'd be another play
Looking for romance?
Come back another day
Another day
Another, another day
Another, another day

MIMI
Your pain I see -- your heart's been burned
You're just like me before I learned
There is no future
There is no past
I live this moment
As my last
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today

ROGER
Excuse me if I'm off track
But if you're so wise
then tell me -- why do you need smack?
Honey, get real
Here's the deal
It's time for you to book
I mean look you're cute
But I don't buy that schpiel
Take your needle
Take your fancy prayer
And don't forget
Get the moonlight out of your hair
Long ago you might've lit up my heart
But the fire's dead -- ain't never ever gonna start
Another time -- another place
The words would only rhyme
We'd be in outer space
It'd be another song
We'd sing another way
You wanna prove me wrong?
Come back another day
Another day

MIMI
Your anger's real -- but just beware
It's a waste to feel that fate's unfair
There's no such thing as tragedy
I can't resent what's meant to be
There's only yes
Only tonight
We must let go
To know what's right
No other course
No other way
No day but today

MIMI & COMPANY
I can't control
my destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal
Is just -- to be
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today

ROGER
Control your temper
She doesn't see
Who says that there's a soul
Just let me be
Who do you think you are?
Barging in on me and my guitar
Little girl, hey
The door is that way
The fire's out anyway

MIMI & COMPANY
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today

ROGER
Take the powder
Take the candle
Take your whisper
Take your moonlit hair
Take your brown eyes
Your pretty smile
Your silhouette
Another time
Another place
Another rhyme
A warm embrace
Another dance
Another way
Another chance
Another day

Top

CHRISTMAS BELLS #2

THREE HOMELESS PEOPLE
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Out of town
Santa Fe

SQUEEGEEMAN
Honest living, man!
Feliz Navidad!

HOMELESS PERSON
Evening, officers

MARK
Smile for Ted Koppel, Officer Martin!

HOMELESS PERSON
And a Merry Christmas to your family

POLICE OFFICERS
Right!

HOMELESS PERSON
Who the fuck do you think you are?
I don't need no goddamn help
From some bleeding heart cameraman
My life's not for you to
Make a name for yourself on!

ANGEL
Easy, sugar, easy
He was just trying to --

HOMELESS PERSON
Just trying to use me to kill his guilt
It's not that kind of movie, honey
Let's go -- This lot is full of motherfucking artists
Hey artist - got a dollar?
I thought not

Top

SANTA FE

ANGEL
New York City --

MARK
Uh huh

ANGEL
Center of the universe

COLLINS
Sing it girl --

ANGEL
Times are shitty
But I'm pretty sure they can't get worse

MARK
I hear you

ANGEL
It's a comfort to know When you're singing the hit-the-road blues
that anywhere else you could possibly go after New York
would be a pleasure cruise

COLLINS
Now you're talking
Well, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle
And I'm sick of grading papers - that I know
And I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzle
All this misery pays no salary, so
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Oh sunny Santa Fe would be nice
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And leave this to the roaches and mice

ANGEL
You teach?

COLLINS
I teach -- Computer Age Philosophy
But my students would rather watch TV

ANGEL
America!

ALL
America!

ANGEL
I preach!

MARK
Hallelujah!

ANGEL
I beat the drum of apocalypse
like orchestras on sinking ships

COLLINS
America!

ALL
America!

COLLINS
You're a sensitive aesthete
Brush the sauce onto the meat
You could make the menu sparkle with rhyme
You could drum a gentle drum
I could seat guests as they come
chatting not about Heidegger, but wine!
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe

ANGEL, MARK & HOMELESS
Santa Fe

COLLINS
Our labors would reap financial gains

ANGEL, MARK & HOMELESS
Gains, gains, gains

COLLINS
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And save from devastation our brains

MAN
Save our brains

ALL
We'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away
Devote ourselves to projects that sell
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe

COLLINS
Forget this cold Bohemian hell
Do you know the way to Santa Fe?
You know, tumbleweeds...prairie dogs...Yeah

Top

I'LL COVER YOU

MARK
Oh my God!

COLLINS & ANGEL
What?

MARK
Maureen! Quick, don't look. Is she with anyone?

ANGEL
You said not to look.

MARK
Shit!

COLLINS
She's alone.

MARK
That's it.

(MARK exits)

ANGEL
We'll never be that desperate

COLLINS
You'll never have to be

ANGEL
I've been hearing violins all night!

COLLINS
Anything to do with me? Are we a thing?

ANGEL
Darling... we're everything!

Live in my house
I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back
With one thousand kisses Be my lover -- I'll cover you

COLLINS
Open your door
I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage
To lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there -- I'll cover you

BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love,
on life -- be my life
Just slip me on
I'll be your blanket
Wherever -- whatever -- I'll be your coat

ANGEL
You'll be my king
And I'll be your castle

COLLINS
No you'll be my queen
And I'll be your moat

BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love, on life
All my life
I've longed to discover
Something as true as this is

COLLINS
So with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

ANGEL
If you're cold and you're lonely
You've got one nickel only
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

COLLINS
When you're worn out and tired
when your heart has expired

BOTH
Oh lover I'll cover you
Oh lover I'll cover you

Top

WILL I?

STEVE
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

GROUP #1
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

GROUP #2
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

GROUP #3
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

GROUP #4
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

Top

YOU'LL GET OVER IT

MAUREEN
It's times like these I really appreciate - Mark!
Dear, I'm so glad you're here! Honey, baby!
You've lost some weight...
I mean you've always looked great
MARK
I try Maureen

MAUREEN
Back when we used to date

MARK
You lie Maureen

MAREEN
Now let's not get irate

MARK
Why Maureen?

MAUREEN
Joanne ran for the cable but of course she's late

MARK
I don't know why I even try Maureen

MAUREEN
My samples won't delay, but the cable...

MARK
There's another way
Say something, anything

MAUREEN
Test -- one, two, one, two, three

MARK
Anything but that
Tell me what it's like

MAUREEN
What?

MARK
With a girl --
Tell me what it's like for a girl and a girl

MAUREEN
No way!

MARK
Tell me -- or I walk away

MAUREEN
It's amazing!

MARK
Who's on top?
Who wears the pants?
Who leads when you dance?
Give me one more chance Maureen
This is just a phase like girls and horses
And you never even wore flannel shirts
You'll get over it

MAUREEN
How's it going?

MARK
Not good -- I'm depressed

MAUREEN
I meant the sampler

MARK
I'm adapting - repatching

MAUREEN
Thank God! You're the best!

MARK
Ha!

MAUREEN
Don't be depressed
Tell me how you've been

MARK
Why?

MAUREEN
'Cause I care --
Tell me how you've been
God time flies

MARK
Don't patronize!

MAUREEN
Tell me
We used to be friends

MARK
I'm lonely, bored, and horny!

MAUREEN
Is there no one new?
You need a mate
It's not too late
Have you even had one date?
Boy, you just need some time
Then you'll be fine, Mark
Anyway -- I treated you like dirt
You'll get over it
Just remember what you hate about me
-- Though it may be hard

MARK
How can you be so content without me?
How can you disregard all we had?

MAUREEN
Dysfunction

MARK
All we said

MAUREEN
I'm over men

MARK
All we did

MAUREEN
I slept around

MARK
And you will again
Tell me what you'll do

MAUREEN
When?

MARK
When you're bored
Tell me what you'll do when you tire of girls

MAUREEN
I won't!

MARK
I'll tell you -- you'll run back to me!

MAUREEN
Your fantasy

MARK
You always do

MAUREEN
Don't hold your breath

MARK
I know your kind
Always change your mind

MAUREEN
Don't be so blind
Can't you see?
All my life I've known
Who I was meant to be

MARK
But you never even liked KD Lang

MAUREEN
You'll get over it

MARK
This is just a fad that will fade
You'll get over it

MAUREEN
You just need to get laid
You'll get over it
In time we'll laugh about this
You'll get over it

MARK
In time you'll beg for my kiss

MAUREEN
Don't bet on it

MARK
Try it now

MAUREEN
You'll get over it

("You'll get over it" echoes)

Grrr!

MARK
I call this cause for hope

MAUREEN
I would call this platonic -- don't grope

(JOANNE enters)

Honey! You're back!
Uh -- we're patched.

Top

CHRISTMAS BELLS #3

HOMELESS
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Somewhere else
not here

MAN
Honest living
Honest living
Honest living...

HOMELESS
Christmas bells are singing
Christmas bells are singing
Christmas bells are singing
On TV -- at Saks

Can't you spare a dime or two
Here before the grace of God, won't you
You'll be merry
I'll be merry
Tho merry aint in my vocabulary

No sleighbells
No Santa Claus
No yule log
No tinsel
No holly
No hearth
No Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer
Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer
No room at the Holiday Inn -- Oh no
And it's beginning to snow

VENDORS
Hats, bags, shoes, booze
Mountain bikes, potpourri
Leather bags, Girlie mags
Tommy guns, AZT

MAN
No one's buying
Feel like crying

HOMELESS
No Visa
No Mastercard
No Am-Ex
No traveler's checks
No dollars
No cents
No Frosty the Snowman
Frosty the snowman
No room at the Holiday Inn -- Oh no
And it's beginning to snow

WOMAN
How about a fur
In perfect shape
Owned by an MBA from uptown
I got a tweed
Broken in by a greedy
Broker who went broke
And then broke down

MAN
Yeah, baby

WOMAN
I got twenty yellow
French-cut trenchcoats
Worn by Warren Beatty
In a movie -- for real
I got cashmere
Or if you're thinking cash, dear
If you've got the cash
We're here to deal

COLLINS
You don't have to do this

ANGEL
Hush your mouth, it's Christmas

COLLINS
I do not deserve you, Angel
Give -- give
All you do
Is give
Give me some way to show
How you've touched me so

ANGEL
Wait -- What's on the floor?
Let's see some more
No - No - No - No
Kiss me, it's beginning to snow

MARK
She said "Would you light my candle"
And she put on a pout
And she wanted you
To take her out tonight?

ROGER
Right

MARK
That's great!

ROGER
She was more than OK
But I pushed her away
It was bad -- I got mad
And I had to get her out of my sight

MARK
Wait, wait wait -- You said she was sweet

ROGER
Let's go eat -- I'll just get fat
It's the one vice left when you're dead meat
No kisses...

MARK
I saw Maureen

ROGER
No alcohol

MARK
She's in the lot

ROGER
No sex

MARK
She's still my care

ROGER
Look that's her there

MARK
Where?

ROGER
There -- That's her

MARK
Maureen?

ROGER
Mimi!

MARK
Wo!

ROGER
I should go

BOTH
Hey -- it's beginning to snow

COPS
I'm dreaming of a white, right Christmas

MIMI & JUNKIES
Follow the man -- Follow the man
With his pockets full of the jam
Follow the man -- Follow the man
Help me out, Daddy, if you can
Got any D Man?

THE MAN
I'm cool

MIMI & JUNKIES
Got any C man?

THE MAN
I'm cool

MIMI & JUNKIES
Got any X
Any smack
Any horse
Any Jugie Boogie Boy
Any blow?
I'm willin' -- I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off
Gotta run, gotta ride
Gotta gun, gotta hide, gotta go

MAN
I know

ROGER
Hey

MIMI
Hey

ROGER
I just wanna say

MIMI
What?

ROGER
I just wanna say

THE MAN
Hey man, you're in my space
I shoulda known that familiar face
Where ya been buying?
Some other place?
Is this your lovely lady?
Lookin good, Ace

ROGER
I just wanna say
I'm sorry for the way

MIMI
Forget it

ROGER
I blew up
Can I make it up to you?

MIMI
How?

ROGER
Dinner party?

MIMI
That'll do

THE MAN
Hey loverboy -- cutie-pie
you steal my client -- you die

ROGER
You didn't miss me -- you won't miss her
You'll never lack for customers

JUNKIES
I'm willin' -- I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off
Gotta run, gotta ride
Gotta gun, gotta hide -- gotta go

THE MAN
And it's beginning to snow

MAUREEN
Joanne!

JOANNE
Alright, Maureen!

JUNKIES
Got any C man?
Got any D man?
Got any B man?
Got any Crack?
Got any X?

VENDOR
L.L. Bean, Geoffrey Beene
Burburry zip out lining

ROGER
Mark, this is Mimi
She'll be dining with us

VENDOR
Here's a new arrival

THE MAN
That is an ounce

VENDORS
Hats, dats, bats

COLLINS
That's my coat!

VENDOR
We give discounts

MARK
I think we've met

ANGEL
Let's get a better one

COLLINS
It's a sham

MIMI
That's what he said

THE MAN
I said it's a gram!

COLLINS
But she's a thief

ANGEL
But she brought us together!

VENDORS
Shoes, boots, screws

COLLINS
I'll take the leather

HOMELESS & VENDORS (from book -- may not be actual lyrics)
Christmas bells are swinging
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are singing
In my dreams -- Next year

Once you donate, you can go
Celebrate in Tuckahoe
You'll feel cheery
I'll feel cherry
Tho I don't really know that theory

No bathrobe
No steuben glass
No cappucino makers
No pearls, no diamonds
No Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

No room at the Holiday Inn -- Oh no

COPS
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Jingle bells -- prison cells
Fa la la la la -- fa la la la la
You have the right to remain
Silent night holy night

Fall on your knees oh night divine
You'll do some time
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la la

JUNKIES
Got any C man?
Got any D man?
Got any B man?
Got any X? Crack?

I'm willin' -- I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off
C-D help me
Follow the man follow the man
Follow the man
Jugie boogie jugie boogie

Follow the man follow the man
Any crack any x any jugie boogie boy
Any blow any x any jugie boogie boy
Got any D man got any C man
Got any X any jugie boogie

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-five

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-five

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
No way
Twenty-four

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-four

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Not today
Twenty-three

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-three

ANGEL
Fifteen
It's old

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-two

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-one

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Seventeen

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Fifteen

ANGEL & COAT VENDOR
Sold!

MARK & ROGER
Let's
Go to
The lot -- Maureen's performing

MIMI
Who's Maureen?

ROGER
His ex

MARK
But I am over her

ROGER
Let's not hold hands yet

MIMI
Is that a warning?

ALL THREE
He/You/I
Just
Need(s)
To take it slow
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I ...

ALL
And it's beginning to
And it's beginning to
And it's beginning to --

MAUREEN
Last night I had this dream

ALL
Snow!

Top

OVER THE MOON

MAUREEN
Last night, I had this dream. I dreamt I was in a desert. It was hot. My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty. I happened upon a herd of cattle. They too were lost. Even worse -- they were blind. I asked a cow, Elsie, what blind cattle were doing in the desert. She said she wasn't blind. She was visually challenged. She gauged her eyes out! She gauged her eyes out! Did you sleep with your mother and murder your father, I asked. "Worse," she said. "I got cable." She said, "Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Only thing to do is jump over the moon." Wait a minute. I have cable too, I said. But I haven't blinded myself and wandered into the desert. My lips were chapped and dried. I needed a Diet Coke. "This desert was once an orchard," she said. "And the fruit that grew here was rare-fertilized with milk and honey. They laid the cable. And the fruit dies. Only one way to restore..."

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith

MAUREEN
"Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Only thing to do is jump over the moon". Children, artists, lovers, jump over the moon every day! I can't get off the ground! Children, artists, lovers possess the to awe, compassion, imagination. Cows do not! It's like I've got this meat hook stuck in my back. Fastened to a long, black cable! I blinded myself cuz I wanted to see. To jump over the moon.

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith

MAUREEN
Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Then another cow approached, Ferdinand. "That's bull", he said. "Their eyes gave out cuz they read too many books and newspapers. They thought they saw degradation -- it was depravity. They thought they saw greed -- it was merely survival. They thought they saw disease -- it was justice. This is just a dry spell. Before we know it, the fruit will reappear". "Not without a leap of faith," Elsie said. She asked if I was still thirsty. Parched. "Have some milk." I lowered myself beneath her. Held my mouth up to her swollen udder and sucked the sweetest milk I had ever tasted.

(sucking noise)

And as I wiped my mouth off with my pajama sleeve, a harvest moon rose out of the dream horizon. Elsie reared back and sprang into a gallop! Leaping, finally she was airborne! Soaring over the desert, beyond the cable, until she was zooming out of orbit! And I awoke singing...

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith

MAUREEN
Only thing to do
Only thing to do is jump
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
The moon -- The moooon
Mooooooooooon
Moooooooooooo
Moooooooooooo
Thank you.

Top

LA VIE BOHEME

RESTAURANT MAN
No please no
Not tonight please no
Mister -- can't you go
Not tonight -- can't have a scene!

ROGER
What?

RESTAURANT MAN
Go, please go
You -- hello sir --
I said no
Important customer

MARK
What am I -- Just a blur?

RESTAURANT MAN
You sit all night -- you never buy

ROGER
That's a lie -- That's a lie
I had a tea the other day

RESTAURANT MAN
You couldn't pay

ROGER
Oh yeah

COLLINS
Benjamin Coffin III -- here?

RESTAURANT MAN
Oh no!

ALL
Wine and beer!

MAUREEN
The enemy of Avenue A
We'll stay

RESTAURANT MAN
Oiy Vey!

COLLINS
What brings our distinguished slum lord to the Life Cafe?

BENNY
Hold on boys
Gotta do a little business
So you're off the hook for now

ROGER
The video franchise?

BENNY
Who said you're not smart?

ROGER
Blockbuster

GIRLS
Blockbuster?

PERSON
Blockbuster!

MAUREEN
Wow!

BENNY
Mimi -- I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
They make fun -- yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead

MARK
Dearly beloved
We gather here to say our good-byes

COLLINS & ROGER
Dies irae -- dies illa (etc)

MARK
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass -- you bet your ass to --
La vie Boheme

ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

MARK
To days of inspiration
Playing hookey, making something out of nothing
The need to express --
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane
Going mad

To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad

To riding your bike,
Midday past the three piece suits
To fruits -- to no absolutes --
To Absolut -- to choice --
To the Village Voice --
To any passing fad

To being an us for once
Instead of a them

ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

MAUREEN
Is the equipment in a pyramid?

JOANNE
It is, Maureen

MAUREEN
The mixer doesn't have a case
Don't give me that face

(Maureen slaps her)

LADY
Ahem!

MAUREEN
Hey sister -- she's my sister

RESTAURANT MAN
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls

GIRL
Ugh

COLLINS
It tastes the same

MIMI
If you close your eyes

RESTAURANT MAN
And seven orders of fries
Is that it here?

ALL
Wine and beer!

ANGEL & MIMI
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation

MARK
Mucho masturbation

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new

COLLINS
To Sontag

ANGEL
To Sondheim

FOUR PEOPLE
To anything taboo

COLLINS & ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage

COLLINS
Lenny Bruce

ROGER
Langston Hughes

MAUREEN
To the stage

PERSON #1
To Uta

PERSON #2
To Buddha

PERSON #3
Pablo Neruda, too

MARK & MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em

ALL
La vie Boheme

MAUREEN
And wipe the speakers off before you pack

JOANNE
Yes, Maureen

MAUREEN
Well -- hurry back

LADY
Sisters?

MAUREEN
We're close

ANGEL, COLLINS, MAUREEN, MARK
Brothers!

MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & OTHERS
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana

COLLINS, MAUREEN, ROGER & OTHERS
CBGBs, De la sota, tabouli
Body fluids, KS lesions, funny looks
Transfusions, silence equals death, dairy
Including Cannabis santiva, Camel lights
Carmen Miranda, Nirvana

COLLINS
To marijuana

ALL
To sodomy,
It's between God and me
To S & M

BENNY
Waiter, waiter, waiter

ALL
La vie Boheme

COLLINS
In honor of the death of Bohemia, an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner. Mimi Marquez, clad in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair handcuff dance to the sounds of ice tea being stirred!

ROGER
Mark Cohen will preview the documentary he'll never finish, "The parting of the red sea" about his inability to hold an erection on the high holy days, starring his former lover's current female lover as himself!

MARK
And Maureen Johnson, back from a spectacular one-night engagement at the 11th street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backward through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello -- which she has never studied!

(privately to Maureen)

Meet you in the bathroom.

MAUREEN
You're not serious?!

MARK
I am.

MAUREEN
How was the show?

MARK
You know you're good
I'll bring the dental dam

MAUREEN
Don't take this the wrong way
But Mark, honey, take a hike

MARK
You wouldn't consider an auld lang syne between friends!?

MAUREEN
Hello?! I'm a dyke!

LADY
Another brother?

MAUREEN
Ex-lover

PERSON
Roger will attempt to commit to an ending to his bittersweet evocative guitar solo symbolizing the death of Kinipsy!

MARK
Not now, Roger.

COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the ten-gallon plastic pickle tub.

ANGEL
And Collins will recount to us his exploits as anarchist, including the tale of his successful reprogramming of the MIT virtual reality equipment to self-destruct as it broadcast the words:

ALL
"Actual reality -- Act Up -- Fight AIDS"

MIMI
Excuse me -- did I do something wrong?
I get invited -- then ignored -- all night long

ROGER
I've been trying -- I'm not lying
No one's perfect. I've got baggage

MIMI
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

ROGER
I should tell you --

MIMI
I've got baggage too

ROGER
I should tell you

BOTH
Baggage -- wine --

OTHERS
And beer!

GIRLS & GUYS (alternating)
Rest in peace
Bon Voyage
Goodbye Bohemia
You're much to young to die

ALL
Here's one last toast
For you our heart still throbs
Send back your ghost
Or else we'll have to get real jobs
To Dance!

MIMI & GIRL
No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection
Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders!

ALL
Film!

MARK
Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations,
Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze!

COLLINS, MAUREEN & MIMI
Music!

ANGEL & ROGER
Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation,
Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition!

ALL
Anarchy!

MAUREEN
Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions,
Forcing changes, risk, and danger
Making noise and making pleas!

ALL
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too

MAUREEN
To me

MARK
To me

A PERSON
To me

ALL
To you, and you and you, you and you
To people living with, living with, living with
Not dying from disease
Let he among us without sin
Be the first to condemn
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

MARK
Anyone out of the mainstream
Is anyone in the mainstream?
Anyone alive--with a sex drive

OTHERS
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme

MARK
Tear down the wall
Aren't we all?
The opposite of war isn't peace...
It's creation!

ALL
Viva La Vie Boheme!

Top

AZT BREAK/ MAUREEN AND JOANNE'S FIGHT

(sound of beepers going off)

COLLINS
AZT break!

ANGEL
DDT!

MAUREEN
The ever-popular DDC-Zovarc's-Prozac cocktail!

(JOANNE walks in on MAUREEN)

This is not what you think.

JOANNE
Then what? Why use it?

MAUREEN
Joanne, it's just Mark.

ROGER
You?

MIMI
Me -- you?

ROGER
Mimi

JOANNE
By the way -- I almost forgot
They're rioting back at the lot
Benny says evict
Cops don't know what they're doing
No one's leaving
They're sitting there mooing
Thank you Joanne
For everything you've done -- oh don't mention it
I love being a wreck

WAITER
I'll bring the check

Top

I SHOULD TELL YOU

ROGER
I should tell you
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you I'm disaster
I forget how to begin it

MIMI
Let's just make this part go faster
I have yet -- to be in it
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell that I can't sleep at night
I'm scared to close my eyes

ROGER
Lately I'm so filled with fright
I rarely share -- I criticize

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell my style of fighting
I don't move, gaze or speak

ROGER
I get flustered with my writing --
Catatonic for a week

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

BOTH
I should tell --
Well, here we go
Now we --

MIMI
Oh no!

ROGER
I know -- this something is
Here goes

MIMI
Here goes

ROGER
Guess so
It's starting to
Who knows

MIMI
Who knows

ROGER
Do what it does

MIMI
We'll go where

ROGER
I know -- there because

MIMI
Because we're starting to

ROGER
Something
Guess so

MIMI
Who knows

BOTH
Trusting desire -- starting to learn
Walking through fire without a burn
Clinging -- a shoulder, a leap begins
Stinging and older, asleep on pins
So here we go
Now we --

ROGER
Oh no

MIMI
I know

ROGER
Oh no

BOTH
Who knows where
Who goes there

ROGER
Who knows

MIMI
Who knows

ROGER
Who goes

MIMI
Who goes

BOTH
Here goes -- Here goes
Here goes -- Here goes
Here goes

Top

Rent Workshop Lyrics Act II


VOICE MAIL #3

(phone rings)

BENNY
The funeral is today at 9 a.m. at the Meeting House on 11th Street in Avenue B.

SECRETARY
If Mimi Marquez is at this number, please call Dr. White at 338-4322. On Monday November 2nd between 3:00 and 3:15 your bloodwork is in and it's vital you talk to the doctor. Also Mimi remember you also still owe $111.68 on your last bill, the new one will cost $238.31, making your October balance $349.99 -- due immediately. If Mimi is not at this number, uh...Happy Halloween.

Top

SEASONS OF LOVE


COMPANY
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure -- measure a year?

In daylights -- In sunsets
In midnights -- In cups of coffee
In inches -- In miles
In laughter -- In strife

In -- Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love

Seasons of love
Seasons of love

SOLOIST #1
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

SOLOIST #2
In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died

ALL
It's time now - to sing out
Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love
Remember the love
Remember the love
Measure in love

SOLOIST #1
Measure, measure your life in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love

Top

OUT TONIGHT


MIMI
What's the time?
Well it's gotta be close to midnight
My body's talking to me
It says, "Time for danger"
It says "I wanna commit a crime
Wanna be the cause of a fight
Wanna put on a tight skirt and pretend
You're a stranger"
I've got an itch to be a bitch
I need to laugh like a child
C'mon I've bought -- I know a spot
Where it's hot not to go wild
We don't need any money
I always get in for free
You can get in too
If you get in with me

Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna play?
Let's run away
We won't be back till next Valentine's Day
Take me out tonight (meow)

MAUREEN (Into phone)
Forget me not?
I can't forget you, Mark
It's like forgetting a brother a friend -- that too
Well, thanks for the -- Mark stop crying!
No, this is not a phase I'm going through

MIMI
I've had a knack from way back
At breaking the rules once I learn the games
Get up - life's too quick
I know someplace sick
Where this chick'll dance in the flames

When I get a wink from the doorman
Do you know how lucky you'll be?
That you're on line with the feline of Avenue B

Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna prowl
Be my night owl?
Well take my hand we're gonna howl
Out tonight

ANGEL (In the background)
He loves me -- he loves me more
He loves me -- he loves me more (etc.)

MAUREEN
It's me.

JOANNE
Traditional Chinese medicine offers a holistic approach -- using acupuncture.

MAUREEN
Do I care?

JOANNE
Not if you don't!

MAUREEN
Kiss?

JOANNE
No - I can't take this!

MIMI
In the evening I've got to roam
Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome
Feels too damn much like home
When the Spanish babies cry
So let's find a bar
So dark we forget who we are
And all the scars from the
Nevers and maybes die

Let's go out tonight
Have to go out tonight
You're sweet
Wanna hit the street?
Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?
Just take me out tonight

Please take me out tonight
Don't forsake me -- out tonight
I'll let you make me -- out tonight
Tonight -- tonight -- tonight

Top

SEASONS OF LOVE #2

COMPANY
In diapers -- report cards
In spoke wheels -- in speeding tickets
In contracts -- dollars
In funerals -- in births
In -- five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you figure
A last year on earth?

Figure in love
Figure in love
Figure in love
Measure in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love

Top

VOICE MAIL #4

(phone rings once)
MAUREEN
April is the cruelest month. You can reach Joanne at 784-3321. Anyone but Mark -- please leave a message.

(Dial tone as Mark hangs up the phone)

Top

WITHOUT YOU

MAUREEN
Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows

Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play

The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you

The earth turns
The sun burns
But I die
Without you

Without you
The breeze warms
The girl smiles
The cloud moves

Without you
The tides change
The boys run
The oceans crash

The crowds roar
The days soar
The babies cry
Without you

The moon glows
The river flows
But I die
Without you

JOANNE
The world revives

MAUREEN
Colors renew

BOTH
But I know blue
Only blue
Lonely blue
Within me, blue
Without you

MAUREEN
Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats

JOANNE
Without you
The eyes gaze
The legs walk
The lungs breathe

BOTH
The mind churns
The heart yearns
The tears dry
Without you

Life goes on
But I'm gone

MAUREEN
Cause I die
Without you

JOANNE
Without you

BOTH
Without you

Top

VOICE MAIL #5

(phone rings once)

COLLINS
We went to steal an air-conditioner.

ANGEL
We'll be right back.

STUDENT
Um, professor Collins, um, I'll be a freshman in your class this fall. Um, the summer reading list, um, the bookstore in Dayton didn't have "The Story of O". So I'm wondering -- he said he was gonna steal an air-conditioner! Maybe this isn't the right number.

Top

CONTACT

COMPANY
Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
Sticky-licky-trickle-tickle
Steamy-creamy-soaking-stoking

COLLINS
Touch!

MAUREEN
Taste!

MIMI
Deep!

COLLINS
Dark!

MAUREEN
Kiss!

COLLINS
Beg!

MIMI
Slap!

MIMI, MAUREEN & COLLINS
Fear!

COLLINS
Thick!

COLLINS, MIMI & MAUREEN
Red, red
Red, red
Red, red -- please

MAUREEN
Harder

ANGEL
Faster

MAUREEN
Wetter

MIMI
Bastard

COLLINS
You whore

MAUREEN
You cannibal!

MIMI & ANGEL
More!

MAUREEN
You animal!

MAUREEN, COLLINS & MIMI
Fluid no fluid no contact yes
No contact

ALL
Fire fire burn--burn yes!
No latex rubber rubber
Fire latex rubber latex bummer
Lover bummer

ANGEL
Take me
Take me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today me
Tomorrow you
Tomorrow you
Love
you
Love you
I love
You I love
You!
Take me
Take me
I love you

ROGER'S VOICE
Um

JOANNE'S VOICE
Wait

MIMI'S VOICE
Slipped

COLLINS' VOICE
Shit

JOANNE'S VOICE
Ow!

ROGER'S VOICE
Where'd it go?

MIMI'S VOICE
Safe

COLLINS' VOICE
Damn

MAUREEN'S VOICE
I think I missed
Don't get pissed

ALL
It was bad for me -- was it bad for you?

MAUREEN
Move over

JOANNE
Move over

ROGER
It's over

MIMI
It's over

COLLINS
It's over

Top

I'LL COVER YOU #2

MIMI
Angel was one of my closest friends. I knew we'd hit it off the moment we met. This skinhead was bothering her and she that she was more of a man he'd ever be and more of a woman then he'd ever get.

MARK
Then there was this time when he walked right up to this group of tourists and they were petrified because A, they were obviously lost and B, they had probably never spoken to a drag queen before in their lives. And he, she, offered to escort them out of Alphabet City and then let them take a picture of her and then said she'd help them find the Circle Line.

MAUREEN
You were so much more original then any of us. You'd find an old tablecloth on the street and turn it into a dress and sure enough next year they'd be mass producing them at The Gap. You always said how lucky you felt that we were all friends, but it was us wasn't it? We were the lucky ones.

COLLINS
Live in my house
I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back
With one thousand kisses
Be my lover
And I'll cover you
Open your door -- I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there -- I'll cover you
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you were, my love, on life
All my life
I've longed to discover
Something as true
As this is

SOLOIST #1
So with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you iwht a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

COLLINS
If you're cold and you're lonely
You've got one nickel only
When you're worn out and tired
When your heart has expired

COMPANY
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred -- measure a year
Oh lover I'll cover you
Oh lover I'll cover you

Top

GOODBYE LOVE

MIMI
You said you that you were leaving town last week

ROGER
You said that Benny was the most disgusting yuppie scum of the earth

BENNY
You said you'd never speak to him again

MIMI
Not now

MAUREEN
Who said that you have any say in who she says things to at all?

JOANNE
You said you'd stick to your own problems

MAUREEN
You said you'd give me some space

JOANNE
Maureen, we have this fight each night
Why can't you admit you need me

MARK
Everyone please

MIMI
He was the same way -- he was always
"Run away -- hit the road
Don't commit" -- you're full of shit

BENNY
Mimi!

JOANNE
She's in denial

MIMI
He's in denial

JOANNE
You gave an inch
When I gave a mile

MIMI
I gave a mile

ROGER
When you weren't trashed

BENNY & MARK
C'mon guys chill!

JOANNE & MIMI
I'd be happy to die
For a taste of what Angel had

MAUREEN
Don't give up Joanne

JOANNE & MIMI
Someone to live for

MAUREEN
I live for you -- I do

JOANNE & MIMI
Unafraid to say I love you

ROGER
All your words are nice Mimi
But love's not a one-way street
You'll never share real love
Until you love yourself -- I should know

COLLINS
You all said you'd be cool tonight
So please -- for my sake
I can't believe he's gone
I can't believe you're going

ALL
I can't believe this is goodbye

MARK
I hear there are great restaurants out west

ROGER
Some of the best. How could she?

MARK
How could you let her go?

ROGER
You just don't know... How could we lose Angel?

MARK
Maybe you'll see why if you face up to your pain
At least now if you try -- Angel's death won't be in vain

ROGER
His death is in vain

MARK
Use your right brain
There's so much to care about
There's me, there's Mimi

ROGER
Mimi's got her baggage too

MARK
So do you

ROGER
I don't know what I am
What I know, what to do

MARK
Who does?

ROGER
Oh God Mark -- Don't you?

MARK
Mark has got his work
They say Mark lives for his work
And Mark's in love with his work
Mark hides in his work

ROGER
From what?

MARK
From facing my failure
Facing my loneliness
Facing the fact I live a lie

ROGER
You don't live a lie -- tell you why
You never finished your film
Cause the standards you set for yourself are too high
But the fact remains that you're the one of us
With the talent and the drive
The fact remains, Mark
you're the one to survive

MARK
I know
I'm afraid the burden's gonna make me crack

ROGER
If it does just let me know - I'll come back

MARK
Why's it easier to return to a friend
Than to burn with a lover till the end?

ROGER
Not as much to lose

MARK
Mimi still loves Roger
Mimi's just with Benny
Cause Mimi's getting weak

ROGER
Mimi did look pale

MARK
Mimi's gotten thin
Mimi's running out of time
Roger's running out the door

ROGER
No more! Oh no!
I've gotta go

MARK
Anything you need in Santa Fe?

ROGER
I'll be fine -- make your film

MARK
Okay. Love you! Call.

ROGER
Love you too. I hate the fall.

(Mimi enters)

ROGER
You heard?

MIMI
Every word
You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees
You don't want to watch me die
I just came to say
Goodbye, love
Goodbye, love
Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye
Just came to say
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
goodbye

ROGER
Right brain
How do I find the right brain
I lost my map

MIMI
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye
Just came to say
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Hello -- disease

Top

REAL ESTATE


MINISTER
Hey! I said I didn't want you on these premise and I meant it! What do you think? We give hand outs here?

MARK
Is that any way to send a boy to meet his maker?
They should have known we couldn't pay the undertaker

BENNY
What happened to rest in peace?

MARK
It's true
And they wouldn't even take an IOU -- I give up

BENNY
Don't worry about him
I'll take care of it
Alison make a note -- church donation

MARK
It must be nice to have money.

BENNY
It is.

MARK
I don't know why I do this anymore
I'm all alone and my films no prize
But I've got the stuff -- at least everybody says so
All my friends have flown or are dropping like flies
And if that's not enough I'm in love with a lezbo
My rent is due, my family's nuts
I haven't had sex in a millenium
I'm stuck with you -- I hate your guts
And it's only ten am!

BENNY
Have you considered real estate?

MARK
Real estate?

BENNY
Real estate
Have you considered real estate as a career?
Could you consider real estate?

MARK
Let me get this straight --

BENNY
Could be great
Cohen and Coffin -- like Helmsley and Speare
I know it may it sound silly
It's a notion I've had for a while
Imagine us as affiliates
We could go to town
My savvy -- your smile
There's art in every deal
Create with bricks and steal

MARK
Real estate
I don't know

ALISON
What's with him?

MARK
I start work -- I don't complete
Am I uninspired, or just a perfectionist?
I'm such a jerk, I don't compete
I can't get hired as a PA or a projectionist
I hate my hair and my goatee
I talk in my sleep
But no one's there to listen
Why do I care about film or TV?
What they ever do for me?

BENNY
Have you considered real estate?

ALISON
Real estate

BENNY
Real estate!

MARK
I should consider real estate
My life is a dump

BENNY
Do consider real estate

MARK
Real estate

BENNY
We'll collaborate
Any fool can do it
Witness Donald Trump

MARK
Maybe it's time to stop carousing
Do something else more fulfilling
Couldn't we build low income housing?

BENNY
That's an idea! I mean it! Really!

MARK
It does have its appeal

BENNY
Doing for the common deal

BENNY & MARK
Real estate!

ALISON
Anyway, there ain't no money in documentary film
I said there ain't no money in documentary film
And I know there ain't no money cause folks get funny
They like things sunny, not truthful, honey
There ain't no money in documentary films
Any idiot can turn on a camera and shoot hobos
Developing property requires vision
Take that site over there
Last year empty lot -- next year super store
Last year filthy bum --

MARK
Person!

ALISON
Okay, filthy person
Next year automatic double doors
Last year empty boxes filled with strangers
Next year Might Morphin' Power Rangers

MARK
I'm doomed forever to be poor

MARK, ALISON & BENNY (done in a round - not all lyrics are here)
There ain't no money in documentary films
There ain't no money in documentary films
There ain't no money cause folks get funny
They like things sunny, not truthful honey
There ain't no money in documentary films

BENNY
Meet you back in Scarsdale

ALISON
Last year crummy boho goon
Next year corporate tycoon

BENNY
A team like Snow White and a Dwarf
Like Edwin Coch and Steven Gorne

MARK
I'll never have that kind of zeal
And my expose will soon reveal
I'm just not cut out for...

ALL THREE
Real estate!

Top

OPEN ROAD

ROGER
Open road
Why does love erode?
Get away, you can't stay away
Look away from the mirror now
Look straight out ahead -- that's how
But how can you let her go?
Let her go
No, you can't save the world
Better save your heart
Start to close the door
Look for open road
Open road
Why can't I crack love's code?
Time to fly, no time to say goodbye
Goodbye! Just try to forget her face
Just get yourself in the race
There's a place that you have to go
Have to go
No, you can't heal the pain
Better heal your heart
Start your motor up
Take up open road
There's a hit and run cat on the highway
Another cat sits saying a prayer
I swear as I pass she's laughing my way
Where did my love go, cry her eyes
Where did my love go?

OPERATOR
The number you have reached 675-8304 has been disconnected.

(dial tone)

ROGER
Where did my love go?
No, you can't forget her eyes
You'll still protect your heart
As you start for home
Breathe it in and slow
You don't have to go
If your heart is open
Your heart is open
Your heart is open road

Top

VOICE MAIL #7

(phone rings)
MARK & ROGER
Speak!

ROGER'S MOTHER
Roger, this is your mother
Roger, honey, I don't get these postcards
"Moving to Santa Fe"
"Back in New York
Moving to Brooklyn"
Roger, where are you? -- Please call

MIMI'S MOTHER
Mimi, chica, donde estas?
Tu mama esta llamando
Donde estas Mimi -- Call

MR. JEFFERSON
Muffin -- wherever are you -- Call

MRS. COHEN
Mark -- are you there -- are you there
I don't know if he's there
We're all here wishing you were here too
Where are you Mark are you there are you where are you
Mark -- are you there -- are you there
I don't know if -- Please call your mother

Top

CHRISTMAS BELLS #4

HOMELESS PEOPLE
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
How time flies
When compassion dies
No stockings
No candy canes
No gingerbread
No safety net
No loose change
No change no

ONE HOMELESS MAN
Santa Claus is coming

ALL
Cause Santa Claus ain't coming
No room at the Holiday Inn -- again
Well, maybe next year
Or -- when

Top

RENT #3

ROGER
If I got a rope and hung myself
My face bright blue
My sneakers dangling in the air

MARK
If I bought an AK47
Shot myself
Would anyone care?

ROGER
Like Quentin Tarantino

MARK
Fuck, what does he know?

BOTH
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay last years...

Top

FINALE

(Enter Collins)

COLLINS
Salutations!
I had a little hunch that you could use a little flow

ROGER
Tutoring again?

COLLINS
Negative

MARK
Back at N.Y.U.?

COLLINS
No, no, no
I rewired the ATM at the food emporium
To provide an honorarium to anyone with the code

ROGER & MARK
The code --
Well...?

COLLINS
A-N-G-E-L
Yet Robin Hooding isn't the solution
The powers that be must be undermined where they dwell
In a small, exclusive gourmet institution
Where we overcharge the wealthy clientele
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe

MARK & ROGER
Santa Fe

COLLINS
With a private corner banquette all our own

MARK & ROGER
All our own

COLLINS
We'll make it yet, we'll somehow get to Santa Fe

MARK & ROGER
Santa Fe!

ROGER
In a car this time that makes it past

ALL THREE
Oh

(enter Benny)

BENNY
Espresso Alison, espresso Alison
And Sam Boom and Salukis closed
We are the world, we are the children
Hey, choo choo Charlie

ALL FOUR
Off the Harley!

BENNY
No more fiction
This is an eviction

COLLINS
We're already moving

MARK
Gang way Blockbuster

BENNY
Blockbuster fell through

COLLINS
You have a conscience?

BENNY
My wife...

ROGER
You suck!

BENNY
I'm cut off from the trust fund

MARK
What about Mimi?

BENNY
You can stay if you pay

ROGER
What about --

BENNY
Not so loud!

MARK, ROGER & COLLINS
Mimi!

BENNY
Hey!

ROGER
How do you work these?

BENNY
Don't be a jerk please

ROGER
I'm a jerk?

BENNY
I didn't see you paying her blue cross

ROGER
I don't make money by selling out to destitute

BENNY
Out of my house you squatters

ROGER
You slumlord!

BENNY
I dumped Mimi anyways
It was a drag -- things got queer

COLLINS, MARK & ROGER
When?

BENNY
A week ago, more

MARK
Where is she?

BENNY
I assumed -- you mean she isn't here?

ROGER
Alison!

BENNY
Don't you do that!

ROGER
I just thought you might like to know --

MAUREEN
Mark! Roger! Anyone -- help!

MARK
Maureen?

MAUREEN
It's Mimi -- I can't get her up the stairs

ROGER
No!

MAUREEN
She was huddled in the park in the dark
And she was freezing
And begged to come here

ROGER
Over here
Oh, God --

MIMI
Got a light -- I know you -- you're shivering

JOANNE
She's been living on the street

ROGER
We need some heat

MIMI
I'm shivering

MARK
We can buy some wood and something to eat

COLLINS
I'm afraid she needs more than heat

MIMI
I heard that

MAUREEN
Collins will get you a doctor, honey

MIMI
Don't waste your money on Mimi, me, me

COLLINS (counting money)
Fifteen, sixteen...

MAUREEN
There, there

MIMI
Cold -- cold -- would you light my candle?

MARK
Wait, I'll sell the camera

COLLINS
Time to be on your way comrade
It's been 525,600 moments clad
We were nomads together in a no-man's land
Where man's the only beast who pays rent
And if it's spent, at least he's got to stay afloat
And he's got to have a damn good coat
Which you were like an Angel
But it's over
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye
Farewell Angel

MARK
I finished the film

MAUREEN
That's great

MARK
It's called "Today For You -- Proof Positive."

MARK & MAUREEN
God let her live

MIMI
I should tell you
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you
Benny wasn't any...

ROGER
Sshh! I know
I should tell you why I left
It wasn't cause I didn't...

MIMI
Don't go
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

MIMI & ROGER
I love you
Walking through fire without a burn

ROGER
Clinging a shoulder

MIMI
A leap begins

ROGER
Stinging and older

MIMI
Asleep on pins

MIMI & ROGER
So here we go
Now we...

ROGER
Oh no

MIMI
I know

ROGER
Oh no
Who knows where
Who goes there
Who knows
Here goes

(Mimi collapses)

ROGER
Who do you think you are?
Leaving me alone with my guitar

(plays Musetta's Waltz)

ROGER
Mimi!

(Mimi jumps up)

MIMI
Moonstruck!
The theme from Moonstruck

MARK
Moonstruck?

MIMI
Moooooo!

MARK
I knew it sounded familiar

MAUREEN
She's drenched

MARK
Her fever's breaking

MIMI
There is no future -- there is no past

ROGER
Thank God this moment's not the last

MIMI & ROGER
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret or life is yours to miss

ALL
No other road no other way
No day but today

WOMEN
I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal is just to be

MEN
Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

WOMEN
Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats
Life goes on
But I'm gone
'Cause I die
Without you
I die without you
I die without you
I die without you

MEN
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today

ALL
No day but today


The End

All work © Jonathan Larson

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