Her wish was to have this published in full. DWD is only too pleased to help, and wishes Alex's sister well should she survive. This testimony serves to educate us further as to the very base nature of Alex's attitude towards his mysterious family.. The man who calls his maternal grandmother 'vermin'.

An artist's rendering of how Alex's sister may appear in the flesh. We hope this is the result of an overactive imagination. Otherwise, she could be sold for ten bob and a pickled egg. If you were lucky.

Alex's sister's words in full. "Dear Mr graves, please pass the following on to DWD. This being the last will and confession of Alex's secret sister taken down in THE PLACE VERY NEAR TO ALEX.

"As I breathe my last gasps I feel as though I need to put the record straight. Alex's men are outside. They do not know I am here, the fools and i am right under their noses. In a escape plot three weeks ago from the vales and rolling hills of Derbyshire I was very badly injured in a car crash. Three of my bodyguards were killed in an explosion meant for Alex. unfortunately for me the likeness to Aklex is so profound that i was nearly mistaken for him. That is despite the fact I do not have that stupid beard. Anyway here I am somewhere in a dark hole with a old Davey lamp writing this down. I am a little older than alex (no that does not mean that I am ancient even though we all know that Alex is centuries old as he is the spawn of the devil. fortunately being illegitemate I don't take after that side of the family. I was not born in Yorkshire nor in derbyshire. Infact i think i was conceived in St pertersburg and flew out on the North Sea. My mother had an illicit liason with a russian member of the KGB. Indeed it is the Russian mafia who hide me now. Well how do you think I managed to escape the secret servise of Dorkshire. I spent my early life in Russia. Became fascinated by Tsar Ivan the terrible. Perhaps if I am allowed to live I will publish a comparison on leadership styles between the spawn of the russains and the spawn of the devil.

"Seven years ago I decided to have a family renunion. Alex took an instantaneous dislike to me. I am not sure whether he was on something at the time. Mind you Rotherham doesn't have anything going for it. They ought to learn something from the gulags in Siberia. far more effective than t'pit. I should know i have seen the insides of both,. One as a visitor the other as an undercover prisoner. There was order in siberia. None in Dorkshire's pits. Anyway since then he has tried to obliterate my menory and person from this godforsaken planet. With the spawn of the devil in charge is it any wonder it is godforsaken.

"I cannot divulge all the juicy details. That would bring into danger members of Dorkshires elite who are double agents for the Russain Mafia. I have committed sins but will save these for Judgement day When I see alex in his glory being cast down again from the light.

"Alex, I remain your sister."