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(No one ever e-mails me any responses about my tirades. You're missin' out on a lotta talent, here folks.)
Tues, May 22 2012 Wow. It's been awhile. Just so's you know, ur @ the rite place for my aussie blog.1st official entry wil be this fri eve. No judging. Cya. 10/05/09 Anyone ever wonder why the only choices we have are pro life or pro choice? (notice it's not pro death, that sounds bad, but is , in fact, the opposite of prolife) And why are abortions and death penaltys lumped together? The baby didn't commit an offense punishable by death. But the ones who kill the baby DO! In my humble opinion, we are stewards over our children. And though abortion should not by any means be used as a method of birth control, in cases of rape incest and the health of the mother, GOD HAS GIVEN THE MOTHER THE CHOICE. As a father I would not make my daughters give birth to a child conceived in a rape. Even to give it up for adoption. She's my child and I would not want her pondering anything about that incident for the rest of her life. She would have enough weighing on her mind already. The rape wouldn't have been her fault and neither would the abortion. The parents who failed to raise their kids so that they wouldn't become rapists are at fault. But if we prosecute them, we wouldn't have all the people that perpetuate these kind of problems in the world. Hey! There's a thought! 07/30/04 "I work 2nd shift which means I sleep late. So I hate it when I'm awakened by calls. Especially like the Narco squad or whoever the hell it was wanting me to donate money to the war on drugs. I informed the gentleman that I was against the war on drugs. He assured me he wasn't talking about pot but all the other evil drugs. I tore into this clueless s.o.b. with a fervor that I usually only reach prior to orgasm. How can we call this a free nation if we aren't allowed to do what we want as long as it doesn't affect anyone else? I can skydive, scubadive, spelunk, smoke, drink, and get drugs to make my penis bigger and keep it harder longer (after 4 hours, see a doctor. Shee-it! After 4 hours bring on be-otch number 2!) but don't you dare smoke a joint. I'm against all hard drugs, tobacco included. But if someone wants to ruin their life what business is it of mine? As long as help is available if people want it, live and let live, or die, whatever the case may be. The "it's my body" defense works great for abortion advocates but not for heroin addicts. If suicide is against the law, why aren't people arrested for smoking or alcoholism? Other contries have proven if you want to get rid of the criminal element get rid of the crime. The only reason alcohol was made legal is cuz the state found a way to regulate it thus make money. Pot is a weed and will grow easily, therefore the state can't control it or make money hence, it's illegal. Once they hybrid the seeds out you'll be byin' a pack at "Smokes for less". So many double standards. A major gas tax has been imposed for years but they arrest people for huffin gas. I'm no advocate of that, but I'm sure the dude paid tax on the gas. My employer pushes drugs in the workplace. Every department has a coffee maker. Oh did you forget caffeine is a drug? Try going without it for a few days. Headache? It's o.k. take a drug. I'm a true American and although I don't agree with everyone about everything I will fight to the death for your right to be free. Lets all get T-shirts that say "It's my body and I'll die if i want to." Want to enlist in the service and fight the war in Iraq? That's suicide! But since it'll benefit Uncle Sam it's legal. Just sign on the dotted line. Kill yourself by putting your self in the way of a really fast moving piece of lead and you're a hero. Stick a needle in your vein and you're vermin. I think that's why so many drugs were introduced to the armed forces during the Viet Nam Campaign. It instilled a sense of patriotism. Long live individuality and if you think you can stop me from doing what I want with myself and my life you can kiss my red white and blue ass! Amen.------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12/20/03 "Bring Me the Head Of Saddam!!!!!!" I will give anyone who brings me the head of Saddam 100 dollars a week for the rest of my life. Your anonymity will be maintained. Just let me know who to make the check out to. Also, I propose we make a television show called "Straight Eye For The Queer Guy". If we would have started it in the 70's, we wouldn't have to be watchin'"Queer eye.." now! It'll be huge and even spawn a sequel (the first sequel to a game show, I might add) called "Break my foot off in your ass." Life sure has changed. If I would've acted like they do when I was in High School I wouldn't have lived to type this. Let's see....what else..... How come we never see any militant heterosexuals? Again, that would've been great preventive maintenance on the planet. I was watchin' "Whose Line..." with Drew and Ryan and Colin and Wayne and Colin was grabbing everyones genetalia. But don't worry. It was done in good taste. I guess. Or else they never would have aired it, right? I trust the networks. Here's a sobering thought: Amid all the perverse travestys, we've not yet heard of "Fondle Clause". You know Fondle Clause, you sit on his lap as a child and tell him what you want for Christmas while he gropes your privates. Mark my word, it's around the corner. (I'm gonna start dating these tirades as indelible proof in the future.)"SADDAMS HEAD! BRING ME SADDAMS HEAD!!. Oh. sorry. Hey! Don't touch me there. I swear to God I'm sane. Stop STOOOOOOOOOP!!!!------------------------------------------------------- -So Roy is still in critical condition after being mauled by a white tiger. If he was half the magician/illusionist people claim him to be he'd peel off the fake blood, jump outta bed and pull the ace of spades out of his ass. Now THAT'S entertainment! Speaking of illusionists, David Blain is still high up in the air in England fasting in a plexiglass cube. (yawn).Rush Limbaugh has just admitted to being addicted to prescription drugs. Hell, who isn't? The Rolling Stones sang about this in the '6o's and nobody batted an eye.(Mothers Little Helper for all the un-cool folks). Saddam Hussein is still alive according to reports on CNN. Don't we have any Special Forces or Green Berets or Merchant Marines that can take care of this Dune Coon? I just bought a house and realized my payment could be 230 dollars less if not for home owners insurance. Makes me wanna burn the place down just to get my moneys worth. Here's a sobering thought: If you buy a house for $100,000 and pay $1000 dollars a month for 5 years, you've paid 60,000. Then you sell it for $105,000 and tell everyone you made 5 grand. That makes my sphincter hurt. The point of this months tirade? As Larry Norman put it, "Unless J.C sets you free, everything remains the same. We are what we are 'til the day that we die." Welp, back to the grind.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was watchin' the news and some marine Captain was riskin' the necks of his platoon not to kill Saddam, but to put the American flag over the face of a statue of Saddam. You could hear the gunfire as they were being shot at. What if they were killed? Would the parents of the dead have considered this dying in valor? I mean really. They werent even tying it down. They just draped it over it. In a few minutes a strong wind was gonna blow it off. and if that didn't happen, they were gonna pull the statue down in a few minutes anyway. The point. The camera! I saw it cause they wanted me to see it cause the politicains and the media wanted me to see it to build a sense of patriotism in me. Well I've got a sense of patriotism, thank you. I've also got a sense of common.....it's called common sense. And that was the biggest load of fecal propaganda I have ever personally witnessed. Lets wax this dude and get our boys home. Sheesh. Marines.......HAH! By the way, how does being captured qualify you to be a hero? Isn't the idea NOT to be captured? Just wondering.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ya know, I cant figure out why the world is in the condition that it is. Abortion is legal, mothers put their daughters on the pill because "well, they're gonna do it any way....", it's easier than ever to get a divorce, no WAY can you post the 10 commandments on public property and everything that is pure, Holy and righteous is mocked by everyone that condones all the above! Purple IS the gay pride color. The triangle IS the gay pride symbol and the DUDE'S carryin' a PURSE! But let Jerry Falwell mention that and HE'S reguarded as a LUNATIC! "Teletubbies is just a kids show. They're not tryin' to advocate gays." I got news .... EVERYBODY'S tryin' to advocate gays! If you think for one minute that advertisers don't believe that t.v. can influence people, look again at the cost of a 30 second commercial during the superbowl. But forget I said anything about the teletubbies. Lets just think of what we could do as a people to get this country back on track. Hmmmmmmmmmm.... Well, I guess we can forget about lookin' at history and seein' what works best. Who wants to go back to those oppresive times when the crime rate was low and you could leave your 5 year old daughter with your grandfather and not worry about him molesting her? We certainly don't want to give up any of our rights.....like the freedom of religion. That way I can use my satanical church status as a write-off. I get so fed up with people thinkin' only of themselves. Kids raisin' kids. The reason we're in this fix is people quit payin' attention to their babys. If murdering people who destroy humanity wasn't a sin and loving all mankind wasn't a pre-requisite to following Jesus, I no doubt would have shot all the spineless, gutless turds I've run across in my lifetime. And just for the record, there are TWO correct ways to spell potato. So THERE!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I was talkin' to God just the other day, (me and him are like this.....cross your fingers for the visual), and He was tellin' me to pass on a message to everyone. So, here it is: He says, "Ever notice how people get all mad when someone brings up religion? What is it in man that gets all pissed off (piss is in Gods Word, by the way) whenever I'm mentioned? Just because they don't believe in Me, they think it's offensive if someone brings Me into the conversation. Over half of them don't believe in U.F.O.'s either, but they don't get all bent outta shape at the checkout counter, and entire TABLOIDS are devoted to THAT subject! Face it, I put a portion of Me in everyone. It's called a CONSCIENCE. And if you shut it up, you've cut the tongue out of the greatest preacher that'll ever live. Then, when I send someone around to mention Me, you're conscience is resurrected and begins to deal with your nasty spirit. THAT'S why you get all mad! (You're prolly gettin' pretty steamed right now.....does ya good.) Look at it this way: Out of the 2 spirits that are in this world and affect mankind (good and evil), which one is gonna get you all hot under the collar when righteousness is brought up? (and the heat that is under your collar is NOTHIN'! Believe ME!) Of COURSE I exist! I'm talkin' to ya right now, aren't I? Not on the screen.....in your heart! Just listen.........hear me? I'm sayin' the same thing in your heart that I'm sayin' on the screen. That should be proof enough. You know the truth deep down anyway. I know you do. I know everything. I'm omniscient. That's why I'm God and you aint. If the roles were reversed, you'd have a hard time provin' to me that a mere man created the universe. Hahaha. What a laugh. Anyway, as I was sayin', you oughtta have more dignity and say you believe in Me but just want to live your own way than tryin' to convince yourself and others that I don't exist. The fact that you're tryin' to prove I don't exist PROVES I exist! People don't try and disprove non-existant beings. As a matter of fact, they try and PROVE they exist. (See said tabloids.) Anyway, you wont be in Hell 5 seconds before you admit you were wrong. But it'll be too late then. Can't say I didn't warn ya. I only left 3 billion road maps to Heaven over a 2000 year period (See "Bible"). So right now you're prolly thinkin' "I thought this was supposed to be funny!" Well, I guess this aint too much of a knee slapper. Nothin' humorous about spendin' eternity in a belching, blazing, roaring lake of fire. But then again, you don't believe in all that fairy tale stuff, do ya? So go ahead.....laugh it up, funny boy! Have as much of a good time as you can. Cause the good news is, everyone's gonna live forever. The bad news is, most of ya aint gonna spend it with me." Well, that's what He told me to tell ya. Don't shoot the mail man. I just delivered it. So, I guess I'll see you all next time. Oh.... P.S. God says He loves you and wants to hear from ya. He said if you talk to Him, He'll prove He's real to ya.....that He wants you to try and prove Him wrong. So let me know........as if I didn't know already.=)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What I think. Hmmmmmmm. Well, I got the ex on the brain a lot lately but I'm sure you don't wanna hear some poor-old-me-I-been-done-wrong sob story. My kids are also on my mind. They go through hard times and their momma tells them not to tell me about it....trying to eliminate me out of their life cause I'm the devil. So everybody that called me "friend" and "brother" for the last 20 years has cut me off and all the friends I had "in the world" I lost years ago at the wife's behest. My mistake. So, what do I think? I think nice guys finish last. That if you do unto others as you would have them do unto you, someone will do you hard and raw. That if you give your back to the smiters someone will be more than eager to beat it. That if you turn the other cheek someone will smack it or pull your beard out. That if you return goodness for evil you'll get a whole helluva lot more evil. That if you give your life for someone it won't matter. But I aint bitchin'. I'm in good company =)
