Anyway, preliminary wrestler Dwight Hill is in the ring. He hasn't won a match in 15 years! He's stretching, when the lights go out! Suddenly fireworks explode and Kane's music plays as the arena lights dim to a redish tint. Kane comes down the aisle and gets in the ring. He throws Dwight into the ropes and chokeslam! He quickly covers him for the one, two, three! Kane is declared the winner after only a few seconds! Kane then leaves to his infamous entrance.
Later on in the night, our favorite commentator, good ol' Bill is interviewing David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston at ringside. BILL: We're glad to see that you two could make it out here tonight.
JENNIFER: I wouldn't miss this for anything! I'm so excited! You can just feel the excitement in the air tonight!
BILL: Okay, now David. What about you?
DAVID: Nah, I'm not too impressed with any of these guys. I think I could get in there and do a better job!
JENNIFER: Oh really?
DAVID: Yeah, I mean, come on! I could be a great wrestler!
JENNIFER: Let's make a little waiver then.
DAVID: Umm...okay.
JENNIFER: I will pay you $500 if you get in that ring, and challenge anybody in the back. If no one comes out, we'll consider them chicken and you'll still win the bet. All you have to do is get in the ring.
DAVID: Yeah, okay! I"m down with that!
Schwimmer then jumps over the guard rail, grabs a microphone from Bill, and gets in the ring to the screams of the fans and the shock of the announcers.
DAVID: Okay, um, listen up! I challenge anyone back there, in the locker room to come out here and face me! (David waits for a little while and no one comes out) Yes! No one accepts! Everyone's scared of me! I'm the man! I'm the champion!! Yes! (David starts to run back and forth into the ropes and jumps up and down.)
Suddenly, the lights go out! Fireworks explode and the arena turns red, signalling the arrival of Kane! He slowly walks out as his music plays. Schwimmer is in the ring and his jaw is nearly on the floor. He's back peddling now. Kane steps over the top rope and enters the ring. His music stops, the lights go normal, and then suddenly a referee runs out.
Then a bell rings! Oh no! David's apparently agreed to a match! Kane is walking toward David, who's trying to explain the bet. Kane takes a swing and POW! Hits David Schwimmer in the face, sending him to the ground!
Jennifer Aniston has crossed over the guard rail and is now at ringside cheering David on! David gets back to his feet and Kane smashes his head into a nearby turnbuckle then throws him across the other side of the ring, into the other turnbuckle!
Schwimmer hits his back on the metal and falls face first on the mat! Kane walks over and picks him up by the hair. He grabs Schwimmer's hand and pulls him toward him. Then he holds out his arm and clothesline Schwimmer, making him flip over and land on his back!
Kane is now standing over Schwimmer as Schwimmer is holding his back and trying to get up. He's up now, and Kane raises his hand back...brings it forward and grabs Schwimmer's throat! He's raising David up into the air now! And bam slams him down! Kane covers David for the one, two, three after that devestating chokeslam!
The announcer's voice is clearly heard saying, "And here is your winner....KANE!!" and the bell is rung, signalling the end of the match. The ref goes over to Kane to raise his hand in victory, and pow! Kane punches the referee! Something isn't right here...
Oh no! Kane's standing over Schwimmer and kicking him in the head! Somebody stop this guy! Now what? Jennifer Aniston is getting into the ring, no! This is unbelievable! She's leaning over David now, trying to revive him right in front of Kane! He looks down at her.
Kane's raising his hand back, and bringing it down! Oh no! Kane's got Jennifer Aniston by the throat he's gonna choke slam her! He's lifting her up high into the air now!
Wait a minute, wait a minute! Someone's coming through the crowd! They're in the ring and they nail Kane from behind! He let's go of Jennifer and she falls to the mat un harmed! Who is this? OH my God! It's Jennifer's real life boyfriend, Brad Pitt!
Kane's facing Brad now. He straightens his gloves, and grabs him by the throat! Brad Pitt is up and bam!! Chokeslammed!
Now what? Kane's picking Brad up by the top of his hair, and he's gonna do it again! He's got Joe Black by the throat and is about to lift him up, wait! Jennifer Aniston hit's Kane in the back of the knee!
Kane's facing Jennifer now, but he's still got Brad! He grabs her by the back of her neck and slams her skull against Brad's! A double head ache! Both of them fall to the ground now, and Jennifer's slowly getting to her feet.
Kane straightens his glove as she is now standing with her back to Kane. She turns around, and he seizes her by the throat! Kane lifts her up and down she goes! A chokeslam! Jennifer Aniston has been chokeslammed! This has been an amazing night! Good night, fans!
