Another Rant from Madgrad-Suave

Well heidi ho monkies, its-a Madgrad Suave. Seeing as its Thanksgiving and all, you would think that I would be in a happy rant free mood. Sadly this is not the case. In fact, I think I'm gonna do today's rant McLaughlin style!

Issue Number 1: The dissapearance of Mark Masterson. Yes, you heard me. Mark is missing. He allegedly claims that his ICQ is done, but in honor of the release of "Enemy of the State" I have come up with some theories of my own as to my friend dissapearance. The first is that this is a setup by UGPO. Yes, UGPO. They are looking for a new editor because they are lazy bastards, and they have chosend Mark. Rather than inform me of the change, they have abducted him, and have written in in his name and said that ICQ was down. This sounds logical. BMS, mobilize the Monkey Strike force immediately. I've had enough of those pansy asses over at UGPO, its time to teach them a lesson! The second and more disturbing theory is thats Mark's persitence paid off, and Leah took him home for the holiday's and they are now re-enacting the landing at Plymouth Rock with a can of cool whip. Mark, if thats the reason your gone, I have only one thing to say: Bring back pictures!

Issue number two: The %&#%$( piece of $&@& that is the Zelda vs MGS debate; I'm sorry, I have had it past my %*@$ with the losers who compare the two games. As a public service, I am going to post the following reasons why they should never, ever be compared again. After this, any one who compares the two will be summarily executed.

1. Well, the are on two different systems. In theory, the N64 is capable of far better graphics than the PSX, so they can not be compared on the grounds of graphic style

2. Graphic style, if you must, is very differnet. Zelda is a bright colorful game, while MGS is dark and moody.

3. Sound. Just listen for yourself dammit!

4. Style. Zelda is an RPG, MGS is an action game. Its like comparing apples to oranges. I mean, why not ask if you should buy House of the Dead or Wild Arms? The main point is the same.

5. Adult content. MGS is geared to a way more mature audience than Zelda. I mean will Link ever be hooked up to a table and be shocked till his fillings glow? I don't think so. Or will Snake ever kill a chicken? Well yes, but with C-4.

So in summary, both are excellent games, BUT YOU CAN NOT COMPARE THEM! Now shut up and leave me alone.

MADGRAD-Suave.