Sandy was happily singing along with the radio in her car as she pulled up to the house she shared with Mars and RK. She noticed that the lights were off, which was a bit odd considering that it was only 9:00 o’clock. She shrugged and decided it was nothing as she got out of her car and headed toward the door.
As she approached the house, Sandy noticed a dark glow through the windows, like something you’d see from a black light. What would they be doing with a black light? she wondered. A bright flash then erupted from inside, causing her to blink as spots formed in her vision. Then another flash. And another. What the…, she thought, what the heck is that?
Sandy carefully opened the door and stepped inside. And stared. The place had been completely transformed since she had left that morning. Cushions, tables, chairs, and blankets had been strategically placed to make the entire front and living rooms into a type of makeshift fortress. All the lights in the house had been replaced with black lights, and there were two or three strobe lights set up in various corners and were flashing in sync. She noticed the TV was on and had some war game running through its demo on the screen.
“The freak…” Sandy said in disbelief. “Alright, where are you two? You know you are so dead when I get a hold of you. You realize I just straightened this place up before I left this morning, right?” She paused and listened, trying to ignore the strobing lights and focus her vision in the purple glow. Then she heard a rustling sound coming from behind one of the cushion embankments.
“To arms, soldier! The enemy is approaching!” It sounded like Mars.
“Yes, Sir, General Sir!” That had to be RK.
“Good work, soldier! On my signal…”
Sandy stalked deliberately forward toward the source of the noise.
“Ready… aim… steady… steeeaaaadddyyyy… FIRE!!”
Sandy tore savagely through the cushion embankment to find nothing but a tape recorder. She paused, contemplating her next move. It was at that moment that a hail of rubber bands hit her from behind. She whirled around to find herself facing another embankment of cushions. Time seemed to slow as she watched a water balloon fly through the air and connect directly with her face.
“DIRECT HIT! Good shot, soldier!”
“Thank you, Sir! The air strike force is in position and ready to launch, Sir!”
“Very good! Send in the planes!”
Sandy, spluttering and recovering from the frontal assault, looked up to see a series of three paper airplanes circling above her. A light, black powder sprinkled down on her head. She inhaled some of it and lapsed into a sneezing fit.
“Pepper drop a success, Sir!”
“Excellent! Get ready for the second water grenade launch!”
“Yes, Sir!”
Sandy, then completely furious, roared as she attacked the cushions, tearing them down and throwing them haphazardly about the room.
“She’s breaking through the defenses, General!”
“Fire the water grenades!”
Sandy was then doused with five or six more water balloons, but wasn’t phased. She had by now obliterated the wall, and had her quarry in her sights.
“The Enemy’s unfazed, Sir!”
“Retreat, soldier! Retr… ack!”
Sandy grabbed Mars by the neck and was now making a whole-hearted attempt to strangle her. RK jumped to the rescue, brandishing a foam Nerf bat.
“I will not abandon you, Sir! Let her go, Villain! (whack! whack! whack!) You cannot win!”
Sandy released Mars and turned her attention fully on RK.
“Gggggrrrraaoorrrrr!!” she bellowed as she focused on her new victim.
“Eep!” RK squeaked as she turned to flee. “Run away! Run away!”
(Half an hour and much havoc later…)
Sandy heaved and pitched Mars and RK headlong out the door into the yard.
“And don’t you even think of coming back in until you decide you can behave like normal people!” Sandy shouted at them, then slammed and locked the door.
RK sat up and rubbed her eyes, which were watery and red. “I can’t believe she took my own squirt gun and filled it with pepperinccini juice and used it against me! That was so not kewl.”
Mars massaged her forehead where she had been whacked with a computer mouse when Sandy had decided to tie two of them together and use them as a makeshift bolo. “Dude, she kicked us out of our own house! That’s not right!”
“Yeh, but freak, man, I ain’t goin’ back in there! She’s mad loco!”
“Very true. Any suggestions?”
“I say we find a place ta sleep tonight, yah?”
“Yeah. Good idea. And where would this place be?”
“Well,” RK said, “there’s this old cabin not too far from here that I often walk past when I’m out hiking. I think it’s pretty much abandoned. We could stay there tonight.”
Mars sighed. “Why not. Better than sleepin’ in the yard.”
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