Things You don't want to hear in surgery

-Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop.

- Bo!  Bo!  Come back with that!  Bad dog!

- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

- Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie.

- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

- Oh no!  I just lost my Rolex.

- Oops!  Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

- Rats, there go the lights again...

- "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys and this guy's got two of 'em."

- Everybody stand back!  I lost my contact lens.

- Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration 
off.

- What's this doing here?

- I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

- That's cool!  Now can you make his leg twitch?!

- I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.

- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

- Sterile, schmeril. The floor's clean, right?

- What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!

- Anyone see where I left that scalpel? 

- And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the 
ape.

- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of 
nature. 

- This patient has already had kids, am I correct? 

- Nurse, did this  patient sign the organ donation card?

- Don't worry. I think it is  sharp enough.

- She's gonna blow!  Everyone take cover!!!

- FIRE! FIRE!  Everyone get out!

- Darn!  Page 47 of the manual is missing!