Ajit is this recurrent character
that appears in many Hindi movies. He is somewhat of a cross between God
father and David Letterman. He has a gorgeous girl friend named Mona and
a side kick whose name is Robert. Ajit is known for
his puns. Most of his puns are combination of Hindi and English words.
You really need to know little bit of Hindi to enjoy his kind of humor.
AJIT: Robert, isko Great Wall
of China le jaakar phansi mein laga do, great 'wall hanging' ban jayegi
AJIT:Robert is ko microprocessor
may daal do !
Bit by bit mar jaayga gaa saala!
AJIT:Robert is ko liquid oxygen
may daal do !
Liquid issay jeenay nahi day gaa,
oxygen issay marnay nahi day gaa!
AJIT:Robert, Dayna (Diana)
ko thoda khatta khila do, yeh dayna se daynasour bhi ho jayegi, phir extinct
bhi...
AJIT:Robert, isey thodi shampane
pila do, paheley shame sey, phir pane sey mar jayegaa...
AJIT:Robert, isey peekak paisan
pila do, yeh more sey no-more ho jayegaa...
AJIT:Mona daarrling, tum Toni
ke saath ghuumna band kar do, nahin to bahut MonaToni ho jayegee...
AJIT:"Robert, Harshad Mehta
the Bull ka stool test karaao"
"Kyon boss?"
"Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit
kya hota hai"
AJIT: Maikal, ise liquid helium
mein daal ke 440 V pass kar do.
Phir yeh superconductor ban jaayega,
aur zindagi bhar ticket kaat-ta reh jaayega.
Maikal: Baaas, yeh aadmi to
kuch bol hi nahin raha hai. Kya karen ?
Ajit: Ise revaalving chair
mein daal do.
Pata chal jaayega chakkar kya hai.
Robert: Boss , Sona kahan
hai ? ( Where is the Gold ? )
AJIT: Kahin par bhi so jao Robert
!!
(Scene - Robert gets a sidey to
Ajit.)
Robert: Boss, humne sidey
ko pakad liya
AJIT:Ise maar ke pulees station
ke saamne rakh do. Aur iske badan par ek sui chubha do.
Robert: Par sui kyon, baass!
AJIT:Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi
ki sui-cide hua hai!
Robert: Boss, mere teen bacche
hue. Unko kya naam doon?
AJIT:Ek ka naam rakhna Peter,
doosre ka Maikal,
aur teesre ka Cha Ling Chu.
Robert: Par Cha Ling Chu
kyoon?
AJIT:Bewakoof, duniya ka har teesra
bacchaa Chinese hota hai!
(Scene - Ajit thoroughly disgusted
with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.)
AJIT:Raaberrt, Mona ke dono
hathon ko kaat do.
Robert: Magar kyoon baas ?
AJIT:Typing to nahi atee,
kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.
AJIT:Robert, in kutton ke
saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur
debugger istarrt kar do.
Robert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
AJIT:Saale Checkpoint mein
atak jayenge.
AJIT:Robert, Test Match mein
kyaa ho raha hai ?
Robert: Boss, Vivian Richards
chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana
padega.
Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Robert: Yes Boss.
AJIT: (on phone, to Richards):
Veeveeyun Reechards,
tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai
.......
(Scene - Giving a decision as
to how the hero should be killed.)
AJIT:Peter, time bomb le
aao aur is kutte ko usse bandh do.
Timer ko theek das baje set kar
do.
Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez
hamesha late karta hai.
Iski maut bhi late honi chahiye.
Timer ko panch minute late rakh do.
Arre, Robert, Robert, bevkoof, silly
fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh
mat rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area
hai. Ha haa ha.
Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke
bajega.
Aur iska dil 'tup tup tup' karke
dhadkega.
Tum agar paas me khade hoge to tumko
'tic tup tic tup tic tup'
suanaai dega ..."
(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela
to kill the enemy.)
AJIT: "Robert, Ise varnish
mein daal do,
saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish
bhi ho jaayega.
Bob: Boss, mission par kaise
jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
AJIT: Abe head ek ho ya do,
kaam to karna hi padegak.!
(Scene - Ajit ordering his chela
to kill the enemy.)
AJIT: "Robert, Isss Haramzaade
ko social security pe daal do.
Saale ko Society jeene nahin degi
aur security marne nahin degi.
(Scene - Robert and Ajit are in
a boat. The boat suddenly springs
a hole and water starts coming
inside. Robert is perplexed !)
Robert: Boss ab kya hoga
??
AJIT:Robert Ek aur hole bana
do, aur ek hole me IN
aur doosre me OUT likh do. Ek hole
se paani ander aayega
aur doosre se bahar chala jayega
!!
(Scene - Ajit get's hold of his
favourite hero & then directs his chela.)
AJIT: Maikal, Is saale ke
ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
AJIT:Bewakoof, itnaa bhi
nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range haathon pakad legi.
he he he....
Robert:
Boss, ye ladki ne hamari saab bate sun li. Is ladki ka kya kiya jaye?
Ajit:
Robert, ees ladki ko maar do, aur iski choli par do traps laga do.
Robert:
vo kyo^n boss?
Ajit:
Bevakuf, jub police ko laDki ki laash milegi to police samje gi ke laDki
booby trap ho kar mar gayi!!
(After a
local bad guy crosses Ajit)
Ajit:
Robert, ees aadmi ko maar Dalo aur ees ki laash ke saath aek kela (banana)
aur thoDa milk rakh do.
Robert:
vo kyo^n boss?
Ajit:
Aare bavekuf, jub police ko lash milegi to police samajegi ke koi cereal
killer ne eeska khoon kiya hey.
(Ajit is
really pleased with the dinner at a restaurant and wants to compliment
and reward the chef)
Ajit:
Robert, ye chef ne aachha khan banaya. Tum ees ke ghar jao aur ees ke ghar
ki bell nikal do. Bell ki jagah tum peas rakh do
Robert:
vo kyo^n Boss?
Robert:
Bevekuf, me^n ees ko no-bell pea sur prize dena chahta hu^n
Ajeet: Rabert! isko eraser
se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi jayega
Robert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun
si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?
Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona,
aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona
Peter: Boss? Sona kahan hei?
Ajeet: Tum chahe jahan bhi
sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!
(Ajeet spots one of his is enemies)
Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi
ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai. Tum ja kar
uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do ghadi ka mehman
ho jayega !
(Ajeet is escaping with his men
in a helicopter)
Ajeet: Kuch hee der mein
hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare door birmingham mein hoga.
Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett (cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe
signal degee...on..off..on..off
Robert : Boss..hamara signal
kya hoga ?
Ajeet : bewkoof...off..on..off..on...
Robert: aur boss..iska kya
karen ?
Ajeet:Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta
rahega, to be or not to be !
(Robert and Ajeet are in a boat.The
boat suddenly springs a hole and water starts coming inside. Robert is
perplexed !) Robert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajeet: Robert Ek aur hole
bana do , aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me out lik do . Ek hole se paani
ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale jayega !!
(Robert had twins and comes to
the "Boss".....)
Robert: Boss, mere dono bachon
ke liye koi naam bataiye.. Ajeet : Ek ka naam rakho Peter....
Robert: boss or doosre ka
?
Ajeet: Repeater.
(Robert and Ajeet go for shikar.Robert
spots a peacock...) Robert: Boss....more.. more...
(Ajeet picks up the peacock,
shoots it )
Ajeet : Nomore !
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