Day Trip to Nazareth Refunds
Mark 6.1-6
1997

INSPECTOR  [To crowds:] Nazareth day-trip ticket refunds here.  Refunds on your tickets.  Get your refunds.

PHARISEE	What are you doing?

INSPECTOR	Giving people their money back.

PHARISEE	Why?

INSPECTOR	Because they only came to be healed by Jesus and you stopped it happening.

PHARISEE	How do you mean ‘We stopped it happening?’

INSPECTOR	You and all the others in the local council.  It’s all your fault the visitors weren’t healed, so I’m acting on my authority as chief inspector of day-trip-to-Nazareth tickets and refunding them.

PHARISEE	We didn’t stop anything.  We were not happy about what he was saying and doing, but we didn’t stop anything.

INSPECTOR	Yes you did, you put on the biggest display of unbelief since the flood.  If you and the rest of the council had been around in Noah’s day, you would have been organising an eat-drink-and-be-merry evening instead of getting on board the ark.

PHARISEE	It was our duty to protect the gullible.

INSPECTOR	What, like the gullible maniacs who stop terrorising their neighbourhoods, or the gullible lepers who find they can come back into society, or the gullible blind beggars who leave their choice begging sites and walk home on their own for the first time in decades.

PHARISEE	Don’t tell me you believe all that stuff about him.

INSPECTOR	I came to listen with an open mind.

PHARISEE	But he’s always been such an odd ball.  Do you remember our R.E. lessons at school?  Our teacher asked ‘What did Abraham give God to eat when he came to visit his tent?’

INSPECTOR	Yeah, and Jesus said “Bread and milk, curds and calf meat and it didn’t half taste yummy!” [rubs tummy imitating the boy Jesus]

PHARISEE	And that time when the teacher asked “Who was in the fiery furnace?” and the only two to put their hands up were Jesus and Ben Jacobs.  We all thought Jesus was going to be clever and say Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.

INSPECTOR	But he said, “Please Sir, I don’t remember Ben Jacobs being there.”

PHARISEE	Well I hope your open mind’s been made up now that he’s failed.  He’s a phoney, out to do people out of their savings.

INSPECTOR	But he doesn’t have anything but the bare essentials.  No worldly security.  No house, no transport, no land.  He’s not doing people out of anything.

PHARISEE	He’s deluded then.  He thinks he is the Son of God.  It comes from knowing that Joseph wasn’t his real father.  No one knows who was.

INSPECTOR	Joseph taught him all he knew.  Jesus listened to him more than any of us did to our fathers.  He was more balanced growing up than any of us.

PHARISEE	Then why did he leave his family and cause them so much worry?  That’s not what a good son does.

INSPECTOR	Don’t you think he heard a stronger call to do what he is doing?  He was a pretty good carpenter, but he’s a brilliant preacher.

PHARISEE	How can he be a brilliant preacher?  He’s got no certificate.  He wasn’t anyone’s disciple in particular.  He’s no Rabbi; I bet he doesn’t even know how many angels can dance on the head of a pin.

INSPECTOR	No, but he knows how to get camels through the eyes of needles.

PHARISEE	Camels through eyes of needles?  That’s impossible!

INSPECTOR	So is getting into the kingdom while you’re attached to worldly things, but God’s power can change people.

PHARISEE	Well, while we’re on the subject of the impossible, Jesus totally failed to heal that crowd of folk that came especially to see him today.

INSPECTOR	How many people get healed in Nazareth on average?

PHARISEE	About one every now and again, when God in his wisdom hears the prayers of a properly certificated preacher and healer who has the backing of the synagogue council.

INSPECTOR	And how many were healed today?

PHARISEE	None!

INSPECTOR	Well that’s where you’re wrong!  As Jesus left the platform and got to the edge of the crowd, away from your orchestrated protests, he saw faith in the eyes of a few who were sick and placed his hands on them and they were healed.  Sometimes it’s the person’s faith that lets God’s power through, sometimes their friends’ faith, like in that house in Capernaum and sometimes the faith of the listeners or his disciples or the synagogue worshippers.

PHARISEE	He said himself he couldn’t do any mighty work here in this town because of unbelief.  He admitted defeat.

INSPECTOR	Well his defeat, as you put it, still meant there were more people healed in Nazareth today than in the last ten years.  Just think what could have happened if your mind had been open too.

PHARISEE	You can say what you like; I for one don’t believe it.

INSPECTOR	And that’s been your trouble all along.  [To crowds:] Get your refunds here and fifty percent discounts on day-trip-to-Capernaum tickets.