Subject: Cosmology - the Unwinese History of the Universe. < > Key words: Unwinese, History, Universe, Big Bang, Energy, Einstein, Quarks, Atoms, Molecules, Stars, Planets, Moons, Life, Physics, Understanding, Grand Unified Theories.
The Historial of the Univer
Richard B Gillion
inspired by Stanley Unwin (1911-2002)

In the begiglode of the univer, during the all thingies unexisto, dingy-dark chaoptic emptico, "Kerplam" - existo. From that tide onwar, engery cannot be crealed or distrobit, but only covated from one fome into either. For this to hole in truedom, matty has to be considit as a fome of engery - a very deepy-dense fome of engery.

Now this early crealit brighty-light intensy very nice, useful all thins creaty engery from. But too intensit for more than half a millisec so next is spandix with congealit into lumps and betwee-space for shiny light and shady dark. But still more needy distal space for proper separays ly-darkel betwee. So from Quargs and nucons, atmos and moleclobes to stellys, galacteries, clumpers and suberclumpers with speedy lish-light sending messays bag-n-for longy distals.

Now these long spready spandix distals dilupit all the engerics, so as well as ligh-darkel and day-nigh we have hot-cole dichotops. Some clumpit so big-hot-bright-huge like a blast furney going boom-splutter-flang as streamolds fly out and insigh is all nulear fussy crealing many new heaving elemolds. These clumps are caller stelly objays like the solly sun. But grale sally-fo streamolds meet slow clumpers too tardy to get stelly and this creales dark objays caller planays and moonoles. And if you get on sigh of a darking objay it can be oh-so-hot-brigh energic on one sigh and on the othersigh brrr-so-cole dark shivvy-shaded. If you had a holihay on such a static dark objay the only way to comfy overstay three minules would be hoppy-choppy bag-n-for from shivvy to broily all the tidy. But (and here is the mastery-pea), some dark objays caller planays or moonoles rotade all centraxy abowd. This puts the stoppy on heither hide getting all energical and broily or radiale heab-n-li into spade, without replenays of energale and getting shivvy. And though you get dayli nice hot sollys and cooling nides, it is not so darblanko that you footstubben and floppy over and crackle bodes, becaw dark no-shine moonoles orbing the planay refleg just enoo sollylide to prevade shin-scrabbers, instep-clompers and skulboppers, which is just as well if you have not yet ivended artifistic lide such as candoles or matchels.

All this talk of evoding shin-scrabbers, skulboppers and the like is frop-leaging the starling gun of life and anticilating the urgence of intellic life, exemplio humic istance. No-one nodes wane and wo life begad or whether poppit up once or manyhow. But chemilodes urged with more complexy moleclobes, so complay in fac that they encobit a templay for overproducit self-replics. Comic rays and ultraviolodes caused mosty dammit moleclobes of futidity, but also an upcrease in the nova of usal moleclobes of grabe variency. Some moleclobes long and complay were stringy-stray and aqua-grabby at one end and aqua-pushy the othendwhile. They fomed membrales which got wrabbed bag-mannery soludals arou and chemial cataflisks as well as templales for self-producy. These bag-wrappy sacs are callit cells. Cellulitids are one of the lolest lifomes, being siggle-cell lonies.

Nadury selectal did a keepy of the best cells and a dellit with the folly of the unusy, causing their earltime demile (as did some un-nadury selectal when laborodromes were invected). Some cells coprated and fomed conlies, with divids laborial and spelizals. Manyhow differal fomes of orgals occupit every coceptal enviral niche and we have grale spectrays of lifomes varihow todale.

Life intellic neebs grale coplessits in hards, lugs and brails. This allowit intellic thinkay and ford plannay and led inevit to pop-musials all bangy-bip-a-bop, expeculay for celebrales of humic achievals such as the invectal of the tellingbone, the tellingvidelode and shloopy-whirkick clobe-sloppy-machee, doing a getty whiteren-white, oh yes.

Most humic achievals bring deep joy becaw they provit the righ-thickit-theorals of the ivectuals. But the mose pow-whiz-bangful achievals have also been usit the righ-thickit-idiogies and righ-thickit-religials of the ivectuals for the demostray, and crealit deep folly and much disrest. Even the worthest achievals good intendy deployit upcrease the rich begobit riper and the poor begobit punier, shame. But there is joy becaw so many model scyificals are nowadale also ecologials. They thickit of the plannay as a hoe and not a laborodrome to relay genny-moddic-orgules. They recyke all their acidial and alkalids, their greehow gadges and their polycarboxylobes, and for their holihays hang-gly to antarticole with spare chemilobes to mend the thin-stretchy-diludit osborn liar. This gives all antiprotegs agale malific melanobes also canker-skinical callit.

The gralest achievals all-tie-bethrew are in unstannay of the univer as in relty, not as in thaw-fomes of yester-previ-savvy-thickit. Huge energials in cyclobes combide itromic particulobes smashery-bashy and snap-flash-photy pics examit secrals of the univer to decover. Nowadabe, the forbes of nadel look so distigual: gravi-pully-dow, push-pully char-spark-shock, magny-invisi neel-pointing, wee intra-nuclic radics and strog intra-nuclic quargrabbers, but they are in relity only diffril manifectuals of a basile interagmo at a subactic levvy, oh yes. This cannot yet be provit as the grabe unfried theoral of everylobe no-one nobes what propper is nohow. This is the holly brail of model physials and whover provits it in a way unstannablode by street-shleppy unmathicals will be graded a noble pride in speculay-physial or tower-ivory-mathical. It is speculayed that this beyodes humic peoplode of todales and that fertile evoludes need waity upsproutos befole humalody this simplo-colexitude of thought can achiel.

This is the historial of the univer, accordion my ustannage. Perhow is here-there odd inaccural, or way-off-market entirehow and in relty all is deep folly. All depens how you righ-thickit.

Stanley Unwin