The Dodgy Doombar

Richard B Gillion
Tune: The Laird Of The Dainty Doonby

When Alison is bell-ringing, Simon attends the Dragon Folk Club at The Bridge, Shortwood, Bristol, with his (often unplayed) Bodhran, drinks Doom Bar Bitter
and sings The Laird of The Dainty Doonby, Chevaliers de la table ronde ("... ici gît le roi des buveurs...") and The Transplant Squad ("... everyone applaud ...").

Oh Simon and his lady they got into a fecht
He wadnae go bell-ringing but that was all richt
'Cos he'd go down tae the Bridge on a Friday nicht
  And ask for a pint of Doombar

He'd sit down by the table that wasnae varry lang
And sit upon a chair that wasnae varry strang
And he'd listen to the singers whose notes all came out wrang
  As he sipped at his pint of Doombar

His bodhran he was playing but it gave a dull thud
So he tuned it up so carefully but still it was nae good
So he treated the dry skin like a bodhran player should
  By giving it a drop of Doombar

Now Simon he received such rapturous applause
The last line of his song demanded it of course
As the clapping died away he headed for the doors
  To get another pint of Doombar

Now we havnae seen oor Simon for twa weeks or mair
We telephoned his work but he wasnae there
He's lying in his bed with his belly unco' sair
  Since he sank three pints of dodgy Doombar

To the hospital he went as an emergency
They decided right away on an ECG
It was either that or they'd be saying "Ici gît
  The buveur of the dodgy Doombar"

Doom Bar Bitter
The Laird Of The Dainty Doonby
Chevaliers De La Table Ronde / Le Roi Des Buveurs