Gotham Chess Quotes - W

We're about to witness two animals throwing their pieces at each other in a zoo cage.

We've just had a game that Chess.com literally thought was 50 points better than if your dog played it.

What did you do to Magnus? Did you spit on him or something? Why was he trying to kill you?

What other way could we substitute a potential visit to a local zoo than analyse a game played by two 600-rated players?

What you shouldn't do when you are up a queen and have a bunch of pieces, is probably move your king.

"What's the checklist?"! This dude is on page 190 of a 200-page book and doesn't know the main character's name.

When the evaluation of a chess game is a BMW, it's bad. It's very very very bad. M4's not good.

When you advance your pawns in chess like this, it could be good, but it also could be a bit dangerous, because you get closer to your opponent and they can very easily trade off your pawns - just like a boxing match, without the pawns.

When you castle apposite sides, it's a declaration of war in chess.

When you made the decision to play the Sicilian Defence, instead of all the much better openings to play, what exactly was in the thought process of not knowing how to play it past move 2?

When you're rated 840, it's kinda like when you get car sick at the beginning of a long car ride and you don't vomit. I'm shocked it took you 18 moves to vomit. But then you swallowed it and then you just didn't barf for the rest of the game. All right, you had a burp - Rd1.

Where are white's eyeballs? On their butt?

Where is the king going? The white king is going to hunt some mushrooms?

White is playing smart chess. Black is playing like, "I learned chess at a bus-stop, and this is just kinda where the person told me to move the pieces, sort of I think kinda maybe."

White is running head-first into a truck. And it's a moving truck, by the way.

White is too afraid of playing the King's Gambit, so white plays the Booster Seat King's Gambit. White plays the Tricycle Assistance Wheels On The Bike King's Gambit. White plays the Step Stool To Get Something On Top Of The Refrigerator King's Gambit. White plays the Call Your Significant Other To Open The Pickle Jar King's Gambit.

White is slowly improving their position. Black, meanwhile, is shoving their own shoes in their mouth.

White should be shot for making this move - I mean with a paint-ball gun, but point-blank range, right in the ribs.

Why are you not using your queen, rook and bishop? This is like working all your life, having a beautiful Porsche 911, a yacht and a private jet and choosing to bike on the highway without a helmet.

Why did the chess gods bestow upon black two rooks, a bishop, a knight and a partridge in a pear tree - and five pawns?

Why did you send me this game? This was an amazing game. But it's a little too early. It's 9 a.m. I honestly didn't expect to see a dead body at nine in the morning.

Why do you want two queens? Are you a Mormon?

Why is the engine such a piece of crap?

Why is the rook staring into the Knight's butt?

Why is white not moving his king? The queen can't do everything herself. She already washes your butt.

Why would you point a bazooka at a wall and park your own car in front of it?