Gotham Chess Quotes - B

Basically, Emanuele is treating the horse like a crazy guy on the New York Subway. You just kinda don't pay attention. You hope that you can get to the next stop and you can get off.

Be2 is legit so brain-dead that it hurts me to even put this game on the screen.

Beautiful stuff here. OK - beautiful stuff lasted three moves.

Because if you played Kb7 here with black, you should probably be beaten, physically, for playing Nb7.

Bishop to c5 is a visit to Ooga Town [population: Booga].

Black can't castle any more because his rook teleported into outer space. His rook is wall-hacking - just flying around the map.

Black did like a movie moment. You know, it's like they were at gunpoint, so they pressed their forehead into the gun muzzle, like on one of those gangster movies.

Black didn't even do anything that terrible - just got murdered. Which, you know, happens sometimes. You wake up and sometimes you get murdered. And that's just life.

Black drove a car through someone's house and made a hole. White takes the same hole, thinking it's a tunnel. You're not supposed to justify your opponents terrible decision!

Black goes full-on hungry-hungry-hippo and takes every pawn.

Black here goes full oogabooga mode – full caveman mode.

Black is an NPC [non player character].

Black is playing a Hippo, but a Hippo that is so fat it fell asleep in a puddle and is getting water in its nostrils.

Black literally decapitated white and then proceeded to play soccer with the head.

Black moved the queen out of danger, even though there was no danger.

Black now plays Ke8, returning his king to its homeland and his home square. Maybe at some point he will return all the other pieces to their home squares as well.

Black probably had the chess capability of my sneakers.

Black responds to the threat of a punch by driving a car onto a train track and getting run over, thrown off a cliff and set on fire. Like I was just threatening to slap you; instead of that you have basically volunteered yourself for immediate death.

Black spends so much time walking with the horse and eating hay.

Black swallowed a pawn and immediately paralysed four of his organs.

Black was not happy losing the knight one way - black decided to lose the knight two different ways.

Black's bishops do not feel like bishops - they feel like goofs.

Black's pieces are just standing around like they're table decorations.

Black's queen is on a Jorge Masvidal-esque mission – finding the meaning of life.

Bok ties his shoes together and tries to play soccer.

Both bishops are kinda bootie-buns.

Bring the bishop back. If you take on f6 here, I will end the episode - you are galaxy-levels of trash.

Bringing out the queen a little bit early is OK provided that you are a responsible individual.

But it's Guess the Elo, so as you might imagine, black plays the stupidest move on the board.

But there is a second approach of the Italian, which is the aggressive one, Bg5, where you insulted his mother and broke pasta in front of them - literally the two cardinal sins that you could ever do to an Italian.

But this is just poopie-buns; you cannot play the Vienna Gambit with black - that's not how chess works.