CHAPTER 17: Old Gohan's Treasure

Bulma's jeep rumbled through the mountains, aimed towards the next Dragonball. Raditsu was already beginning to regret bringing Oolong the pig along; the communist pig had raised whining to an art form, and hadn't stopped practicing his art ever since he had entered the jeep. Raditsu was this close to throwing Oolong off of the back of the jeep and putting the vehicle in reverse.

And from the looks of things, Oolong was going to start again.

"I want my hentai," Oolong said plaintively. "I can't survive without my hentai."

"We don't have any hentai," Bardock almost snapped.

"But I want my hentai."

"Turn into a hentai magazine or something!" Kakarotto said exasperatedly.

"I can't. If I turn into a hentai mag, I won't be able to read myself."

"Why did you bring him along, Raditsu?" Kiwi sighed. "I'm this close to killing him."

"I want my hentai," Oolong wailed.

"We don't HAVE hentai!" Bulma shouted.

Oolong looked at her with a vicious grin. "Do you wear thongs?" he asked. "Show me your thong!"

Raditsu didn't even think. He automatically reached over and wrapped his right hand around Oolong's neck. "If you speak to her that way again I'll rip your fucking head off!" he roared at the dangling pig, who was now suspended in midair with Raditsu's hand cutting off his air. "Understaaaaaaaaand?"

"Y-yes," Oolong squeaked.

Raditsu dropped him roughly in the backseat.

Kakarotto looked at him strangely. "You, defending a stranger, brother?" he laughed. "I thought I'd never see the day."

"You better not tell anyone, shit for brains," Raditsu said with a small grin.

Bulma was also looking at him, but her face held a kind of awe that Raditsu didn't really understand. He also didn't understand the strange bubbly sensation building inside him as his eyes met Bulma's.

The jeep had moved to a complete stop, but it started again as Bardock stretched one leg over and nudged the gas pedal, steering with one hand on the wheel.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Bulma screamed at him, shoving him aside and retaking control of the jeep.

"We don't have all day," Bardock said, as if nothing had happened. "I want to find that Dragonball before Taurus does, and we aren't getting closer to it with you ogling my eldest boy."

"I wasn't ogling!"

Bardock gave a knowing half-smile, but said nothing.

The jeep rumbled onward for about an hour. There was absolute silence among the passengers - even Oolong had stopped whining.

Unfortunately, the silence on Oolong's part didn't last. "Are we there yet?" he whined.

"No," Bulma replied shortly.

"Are we there yet?"


"Are we there yet?"


"Are we there yet?"

"No! No no no freaking no!"

Oolong cringed away from the angry Bulma.

After a few more moments, though, as the jeep passed by a large pool of water, Raditsu noticed something. "Could the Dragonball be there?" he asked, pointing at a dome-shaped house nestled in a grove of trees.

Bulma produced the Dragon Radar from her jacket and looked down at it. "It's there!" she exclaimed. "It's in that house!"

"I want hentai," Oolong moaned.

Everybody ignored the pig.

The jeep pulled to a stop in front of the small house, and Raditsu was the first to jump out. His boots sunk into the soft, grassy earth as he walked towards the building's door.

"You're going to kick the door down?" Kakarotto grinned.

"No. I'm going to knock."

"You've been spending too much time with Bulma. You sound less like a Saiyajin and more like a human."

"Keep it quiet." Turning back, Raditsu knocked sharply on the door.

The door was answered by a short old man with squinting eyes and a shaggy mustache. "Hello," he said quietly. "What brings you to my little hut?"

"We're hunting Dragonballs," Raditsu replied. "Would you mind letting us borrow yours?"

"Come inside," the old man invited. "Bring your friends, too. It's been so long since I've had company. I'll fix you some tea and dumplings."

"I love dumplings," Raditsu grinned as he followed the old man into the house.


Taurus watched the group from behind a large pine tree. "Damn," he muttered. "I'll never be able to get those Balls at this rate."

"We'll attack them after they leave," Apple suggested.

"They can overpower us, Apple," Taurus explained. "The element of surprise won't be enough. We need to kill them one by one."


The two soldiers sat back and waited.