It's impossible, simply intolerable.

Yes, of course, we all agree that it is.

Utterly inconvenient.

Well, what are we to do about it?

There is nothing to be done, the day is utterly ruined.

And such a lovely day as this!

Indeed.

As the sun swelled, the rising breeze had brought the scent of the stinking thing to them, making it impossible to enjoy the otherwise pleasing environment.

It must be a seal.

I think it's a walrus, it's surely big enough to be a walrus.

No dear, a walrus is much bigger.

We must investigate, wouldn't you say?

Oh no, indeed, it's quite disagreeable just to know it's there.

Indeed, quite bad enough.

Think a moment now. We must not let this spoil our day. We are resourceful, yes we are, we shall drag it back from whence it came, and continue as if it never happened.

The other two women looked at each other, a moment in fear, and then, with implacable determination, they nodded in agreement to the third. As they walked toward the seal, the smell grew stronger, and as the wind gusted toward them, the thing flapped, or rather, its water ridden coat flapped, revealing a rather short, very disheveled, and extremely malodorous man. They looked at each other, and shared a moment of mutual abhorrence and antipathy.

Well now, this is unprecedented.

Extremely so.

I shall request him to depart immediately, said the third. Sir, excuse me sir, are you quite all right? You are on our beach you know, and we must ask you to leave immediately, your presence here is most...

The stinking man opened his eyes and vacantly stared up at three furrowed faces haloed in blue. Then his eyes rolled back in his head. Then his body rolled on its side. And then, a wave of ocean water mixed with green bile, blood, and a long ago meal rolled from his mouth.

The three recoiled in horror, from the sight, the smell, and the fact that the creature's inner tide had stopped just short of touching the third's brand new beach shoe which she had only recently told the others she had bought on sale for only sixtyninefifty.

How utterly indiscreet.

He nearly soiled your shoe.

He ruins our day, and now, he nearly ruins your shoe.

What a very nasty person.

They looked at each other.

He is no better then a seal.

No, much worse, surely.

He could have chosen another beach on which to rest.

At least out of sight and upwind.

Indeed, at least.

Well, said the third, he must be gone immediately, his behavior is utterly reprehensible.

We agree, don't we dear.

Oh yes, certainly, he must depart.

Let us drive him back whence he came.

Yes, from whence he came.

With this, the three turned and walked purposefully back to their sheltered cove. They took care in selecting three stout sticks from the pile of wood they had previously gathered for the fire. Without looking at each other, they began to remove their clothing. Once naked, they returned to the prone figure who was now slowly rising to his knees.

Good sir, said the third, I see you are feeling better and what we must ask you to do now is to vacate this premise immediately.

He blinked uncomprehendingly.

Without delay.

And, as if to emphasize the earnestness of her request, the speaker suffered him a sharp blow to the bum. He cried out in astonishment while the other two followed in kind with blows of their own, one to the head, and a poorly aimed stroke to the elbow.

Go back from whence you came.

Yes, begone posthaste, your presence here is quite unnecessary.

Quite indeed.

They drove him to the water. They dragged him to the water. They hit him, they drove him, they dragged him to the water. Their blows became harder, more accurate. Pieces of him splashed on their wrinkled bodies, their breasts swung freely, and these too became covered with pieces of him. They pulled him to the water. He fainted, he floated. They dragged him farther into the water. They let him go, and he drifted away, face down in the salty sea. They swam for a while, away from the thing, and back toward their sheltered cove. They dried themselves. They dressed slowly, modestly, not looking at each other. They sat down, and delicately inhaled the freshening breeze with peaceful satisfaction.

Lovely day.

Brisk breeze.

Yes, brisk indeed, good to be sheltered here.

Is the tea quite done? I'm ever so thirsty.

Yes dear, biscuit?

Yes please.

Lovely day.

Quite perfect.