Men and Body Wash
I was recently duped into purchasing body wash. Now I was very skeptical of this. For the longest time, I was able
to hold on to my masculine tendencies and stay away from the stuff. Well, this past summer, I would go to the
shower house to take my shower with my beloved bar soap and wash rag. Well, in the stall next to me was a friend
of mine who used this evil stuff we call body wash. Well, I must truly say that the guy smelled fresh, but there was no
way that I was going to result to using this stuff and sacrifice any chance I had at maintaining a masculine reputation.
I was walking through the mall one day, and I happened upon satan’s store, “Bath & Body Works”, right? Well, I
wonder in. To this day, I am not sure how it happened. It seemed like the next instant I turned around, I was gazing
aimlessly at the ‘mens’ section of the store, which might I add takes about one square inch of the entire store
(roughly). I began smelling the few masculine scents available. One scent, ‘Woodland’ very quickly enticed me. It
sucked me in until I was drowning in its fresh and appealing fragrance. I ended up falling prey to its tempting fire. I
bought some of this body wash, and one of its cohorts in satans evil plan to lure in all men of the world, the little
poofy sponge thing. I can believe it just as much as you can. I have no idea what happened to me, but I suggest that
none of you men go wondering around the mall, and if you absolutely must, PLEASE stay a safe distance from that
vile store.
I must say though, I do love the stuff, and I believe it is an incredible thing. I look forward to every shower
now. Even now I sit here at the computer, thinking, “Oh, I can’t wait until tomorrow morning, just so I can take a
shower with my body wash and little poofy sponge thing.”
Boy Bands
Hey there boys, do you remember ‘The New Kids on the Block’ or perhaps ‘The Munudos’? NO? Well, I have
some news for you boys, they started right where you are now. HA! HA! HA! Enjoy it now boys, because very
soon, all your fans will grow out of puberty and begin listening to, dare I say, musicians. “Oh, but will happen to us,
P.C.” I’m glad you ask boys, because NOBODY KNOWS!!!! You will come up in a few year 2000 memories and
‘Where are they now’ bits on VH1, and the only place you will be able to purchase your CDs will be in the ‘35 cents’
box at ‘Bob’s Discount Den’, down the street from Goodwill. Your songs may pop up in about 20 years on a couple
instrumental samplers at Wal-Mart, ‘Boy Bands of the year 2000’, where all your songs will still be remixed by
Kenny-G and Yanni. I’m sorry to be the giver of bad news, but hey, you can always try solo careers. It worked for
Marky Mark...wait....
Old Navy
Cool clothes!! Annoying spokesperson!! Wait, who is the spokesperson? WHO KNOWS!!!!
Musicals
Hey gang, lets break out into a spontaneous song, to which everyone in the entire city knows the words, harmony and
choreography. You know? Just like we do in real life. Ready...1...2...3...
Thats all for now. In the fact that I just erased all of my previous current thoughts, I'm at a loss of new ones. I'll try to keep adding as they come to me. Keeping checking in on it.
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Email: abnormalbigtoe@hotmail.com