Logan continued to stand in the darkened hallway after Storm had left.
Unmoving he relived again and again what had just transpired. The confusion he felt was overwhelming. It was all he could do to restrain himself from chasing after her to give her a piece of his mind. 'How dare she speak to me that way' he thought.
'What does she know about my motives or the pain I've endured in my life? What right does she have to judge me like that?' Then his feelings switched and he said aloud, his voice full of disbelief "She's in love with me?" 'Where did that come from?' he thought.
Slowly he realized that he had never really noticed Storm at all. This insight began to pain Logan. 'Have I been blind to her all this time?'
All this information was too much for him. Feelings were flipping between rage and regret and other emotions, too many to identify. When he did finally get his body moving it wasn't to chase after Storm. As much as he wanted to talk to her and make sure she was ok, he wouldn't know what to say to her. He feared he might even say something he would later regret. Instead, the danger room called to him, begging to have some major damage inflicted. It would allow him to think about his situation and what had been said to him tonight.
* * *
Storm walked the grounds for almost an hour. How many times had she had that speech in her head? Never dreaming she would ever say it out loud to Logan. Leaning up against the side of the building, she let her head drop.
'What have I done? How can I work with him now?' she thought as another tear trickled down her face. 'Well, it's out there now. I will just have to live with it, and try to get over him.' Steeling herself to that thought she decided on her new course of action. She would just will the feelings away and move on. There was no other choice.
She was starting to feel that the X-men were becoming too emotional involved with each other anyway, too many couples. That was a dangerous scenario for their type of work.
'I'll just have to distance myself from this group until my heart heals. I doubt anyone will even notice the change.' She thought, knowing that she had always been a little bit of an outsider. That was part of her attraction to Logan, sort of a kindred spirit. He was also a loner that never really belonged and never seemed to need anyone.
With the knowledge that one day she would meet someone who could love her the way she deserved to be, she could do her job with the X-men unfettered. She smiled at her newfound strength and proceeded to go back inside. A pampering candle-lit bubble bath before bed was calling to her.
* * *
With everything in sight decimated, Logan found there was nothing left to fight. The room was going to need some serious repair work before it could be used again. Physically spent as well as emotionally, he still couldn't quite get his mind around what had happened tonight. 'Maybe in the morning things will seem clearer.' He thought and headed to his room.
As he walked down the hall he stopped outside Storm's room. He could smell that she was in there. It occurred to him at that moment that he had never seen the inside of her room. He had no idea if there was artwork on the walls or rugs on the floor. ' I have not paid ANY attention to her at all!' he thought. He suddenly felt very bad. Here was someone who was truly interested in him and he had never even given her a second look.
In his room he showered and went to bed. Sleep didn't come quickly though, for there was a strange ache in his chest. Thoughts of Jean filled his head and he knew it was love he felt, that was the truth but to what end? Could she ever love him in return? Logan had never analyzed his feelings before, they just were, but now maybe he needed to think about what he wanted. Did he really want love in his life? That was the hard question that filled his mind.
* * *
The next morning Logan came into the kitchen to find Jean, Gambit, Jubilee, Rogue and Hank already digging in to breakfast. Logan looked around but could not see Storm.
"Where's 'Ro?" Logan asked.
"She's takin' a shower after her regular morning jog, Sugah. You know that." Rogue answered him as she poured syrup on her pancakes.
But Logan didn't know that. 'How "blind" is right,' he thought as he took a seat.
Scott had been busy in the war room with the professor all morning and Jean was feeling a little neglected. A good flirting session with Logan would brighten her day. She looked over at Logan as he sat down and started piling pancakes on his plate. She thought he looked pensive and decided to ask him about it.
"How are you today Logan?" She asked in a pleasant happy tone.
"Uh, fine." He responded in a flat unemotional manner, quite unusual for him when Jean was taking an interest.
Jean was a little puzzled by his response. No starry eyes, no witty exchange, no flirting, something was definitely not ok with Logan.
At that moment Storm entered the kitchen, looking fresh and bright. "Good morning everyone! Breakfast looks wonderful." Most of the group greeted Storm in a friendly manner but not with a second glance. All except Logan that is, who watched her intently. His heart had skipped for a second when she first appeared in the room. The ache he had been experiencing in his chest from the previous night was back with a vengeance. He had chalked the feeling up to concern for his friend but now he didn't know what it was.
Storm turned and gave a friendly smile to Logan then looked away completely indifferent to him. Logan thought he was going crazy. 'Was she interested in him or not?' he thought as he chewed his food staring straight at the milk jug through the entire meal, when he wasn't passing sideways glances at Storm that is.
The breakfast was the usual loud and chatty meal. As Gambit sat quietly on the kitchen counter drinking a coffee, he noticed that some of the people at the table were not behaving in their usual manner. From being an expert card player Gambit was able to read poker faces very well and he was intrigued by what he was seeing.
Gambit watched from his perch like an outsider looking in. Jean was watching Logan, Logan was watching Storm and Storm was looking at everyone but Logan. 'What an interesting character play this is going to be!' he thought and allowed himself a half smirk.
~~~ To Be Continued ^_~ ? FIN ^_~ ? ~~~
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