She's crying again. Every night she cries. She thinks I can't hear her, but I can. Every sob that robs her breath, every tremble that wracks her tired body. I feel it, I feel it all. She keeps it from me, you know. She rubs and rocks me to sleep whispering soft words and sweet promises. Shushing me to silence and dreams of her and daddy. I want to hold her close as well, but alas..........
She cries for him.
My daddy.
It's been five months. She thinks I didn't know, she didn't know. He's been gone for so long. I heard when he said he was sorry, but he had to leave. She told him.....no....begged him......pleaded with him.... She yelled soft words and sweet promises for him not to go.
He wanted to.....no had......to do it for her, he said. He had to do it for her, for us. He had to protect us from them. His past. She cried then shaking her head, causing her hair to billow around her shoulders like a cloud of cotton, told him it didn't matter. We had each other. We didn't need anyone else, we have a family and love. We'll fight the past when it comes.
" Stay with me, Logan " Mamma moaned in agony, " I can not do this alone Logan, not any more! I need you Logan.......... I love you!!! " She was pulling on his arms, his shoulders, her nails digging into the his scalp through his hair, kissing his neck, his chin, his ears marking him......making him hers. He pulled away, " God 'Ro.....Not now......Not like this.......Not here.........If anything happens 'Ro..... remember.....remember, Baby ...... I love ya.....I love ya too, Baby.....I love ya too!! " He kissed her as she cried............one last sweet loving kiss....... it whispered soft words and sweet promises.......
He never looked back that night. It was hot, I think it was July.
Mamma hasn't been the same since. She tells me stories of him. She tells me he'll be back. He loves us. He needs us. He won't be gone for long.
He never calls. No postcard. No telegram. Nothing but his last whispered soft vieled words and sweet promises...... She tells me " Baby never forget him, Logan will be back. He will always come back......He has always come back............ " her soft, saddened voice, promised while breaking. " He has a home to come back to.........A family.........He has us my love..... "
But she still cries.
She's beautiful and strong you know. My Mamma. I hope I grow up to be like her. To have the love and devotion of a man like my Daddy.
Mamma says to me late at night deep in the midnight moon, under the stars as they shine they're silver rays along the lake, it's the color of my Mamma's hair. She says " Angel of my heart......You shall be everything that is beautiful and rare......What is sacred and kept hidden.......full of mystery and truth..... " I whisper back in my heart " Like you Mamma? Will I be like you? "
" You shall be loyal and strong........devoted to love and family and protective.........protective of what you hold dear. " she whispers, they're like soft words and broken promises. " Mamma, like Daddy? Will I be like Daddy? "
As if to hear my words, she sighs sadly, " You......You shall be you...The love and heart of her Daddy and Mamma. A symbol of our unity. You shall be every dream, every hope, every desire......Every desire we have ever had......You shall be our future. " She rubs and rocks me to sleep whispering soft words and truthful promises. Shushing me to silence and dreams of her and daddy. I want to hold her close as well, but alas..........
So many lullabies, so many words, so many lies, so many promises. All softly whispered. I hope I never forget......no........no.......I will never forget.
Daddy said he'll be back.
I'll surprise him.
In 3 months I shall see the first light of day. The first butterfly touch of Mamma on my pruned skin. I shall hear the first clear sound of her voice. The sweet.......soft......of her kiss along my head.
And if the whispered soft lullabies........soft words and sweet promises come true.......
Me and Mamma shall be in Daddy's arms.
By
V
~Finis~
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