Today, I can tell you that spousal abuse and alcoholism go hand in hand. In my case, I was sure they were related, except for after years of drinking, he sobered up for a few months and still abused me and the kids again, and again....
I used to think that if I was real sweet and got his dinner ready when he came home from work, layed out his clothes in the morning, even warmed up his truck in the winter, he wouldn't beat me up anymore. Well, I got news for you, it did NOT make a bit of difference.
After many years of putting up with it, I started calling the police. Since most of his drinking was done on weekends, they'd tell me to go to the prosecutor's office on monday, and press charges against him. By then he was back to work and very "sorry", so I wouldn't do nothing. In the early to mid eighties, I found out that I could have pressed charges on him at anytime by requesting that the cops bring the papers with them, the day it happened. So, I finally did it. He swore revenge as they loaded him up in the police car. Of course, he got out the next morning, after he was found not guilty.
The last time I pressed charges, he spent 2 weeks in the County jail. He was soooo "sorry", he was crying. Well I'm sure you guessed it, he did it again. He never stopped beating me up, until the day he died; that is after going to 3 different Alcoholic treatment centers, and psychiatric ward.
Today, I am reliving it through my daughter. It's a vicious circle that has to be stopped. I hope this helps some of you that are being abused, and believe that you did something wrong to deserve that kind of abuse from a spouse, and think he or she will change if you are a nicer person. The chance is it will only get worse. Nicole
I will be adding other chapters as I get them done, so please come back and check later