FROM SIM WITH SHELONEI AS DOC, ADAM AS MYN, VICKIE AS HOBBIE

Myn opened the door to Doc's quarters and when Wily rolled out of the way, he knocked on Doc's door.

"Whaddya wan now, klinnnk?" There was the sound of bottles being kicked out of the way as she stumbled to the door.

"Doc, it's me, Myn.... I have a present for you. Could you open the door Doc? If you're sober enough to open it?"

She grumbled and palmed at the doorswitch a few times before actually hitting it, and the door slid open. She leaned heavily against the doorframe, looking blearily at Myn.

He pointed at the box. "This is for you."

She blinked slowly. "Whaai?"

He handed her the box, "Here. It's for you."

"Whassit?"

"Gift."

"Giffft?"

"Yeah, a gift for you. I thought that it would help."

She looked at the box in her hand, then blearily up at Myn. Then, Doc stumbled to her dresser and pulled a small packet off the top, downing the contents. She made a face, then a moment later looked back at him... sober. "Why?"

"Well, I can guess how much the figurine means to you," he nodded at the shattered glass on the dressertop. "And there's a holo-recorder that has images of Ton while he was with the Wraiths."

Slowly, she walked back to sit on the edge of her bed, waving a beckoning hand. "Come in," she told him as she looked at the little neatly-wrapped box. She didn't open it. She was... afraid... to open it.

Myn moved in and sat down beside her. "You know, it'd help if you open the box."

She nodded. "Yeah, probably...." She made no move to do so, but instead looked back to Myn. "But why?"

"I don't know exactly, but I do know what you're going through."

She regarded him curiously while setting up a few new blocks to her fortress wall. "And just what is that, Lieutenant Donos?"

"Well," he said. "I know what you are feeling, but in my case I was actually there when it happened. My entire command was lost, right before my eyes, in the matter of a couple of minutes."

She blinked at him, her features softening. "I'm sorry," she told him quietly. What a terrible thing to have to live through.

"In one mission, I lost my droid from Talon Squadron and I basically went into a coma. Until, that is, I was confronted by a couple of the other Wraiths when I was put into that situation again..." Myn shook his head. "It was the worst thing I've ever had to go through."

"That's awful...."

"Yeah. Well, it brought me out of the trance-like state and put me somewhat back to normal."

"I see...." She looked down to the box, and slowly opened it. Inside was a small delicate blue-glass swan, and it looked exactly like the one that had shattered previously that evening. There was also a holo-record.

Her eyes widened, "How'd you...?"

"Clink. I brought him with me to a store that had it, here on Coruscant. I know how much he means to you."

Gently, she took the figure from the box, and carefully she turned it in her hands. "It is exact.... It's... it's perfect...." She swallowed, a tear falling from her eye.

Myn smiled softly, glad that he'd succeeded.

"I just wish he'd let me say goodbye, if he was so determined...." she whispered as she gazed upon the curio.

"Yeah, would have been nice."

"I... tried to get back in touch with him.... Wrote him every week - then, all of a sudden, after we all too Coruscant, he sent every one of the letterdiscs back. All in one box.... Unread...."

"Well, if you wrote him constantly, you probably couldn't get him since he was busy. With the Wraiths, we were constantly undercover and any mail that was sent wouldn't reach us."

"So he joined the Wraiths straight after Endor?"

"Not exactly. He probably doctored and then piloted and flew some missions before joining the Wraiths."

She frowned slightly, still gently turning the figure in her hands.

Myn made a decision right then. Now was the time to tell his story. "There were two people responsible for the loss of Talon Squadron. One, I killed. The other.... The other is the woman I love."

She looked up at Myn in near-shock. "How... I don't understand. You... love someone who destroyed your friends, your command?"

"Well, it's a little complicated," he told her.

She looked at him curiously.

"When Trigit's ship was destroyed, she got into an escape pod and changed identities. She went from Gara Petothel to Lara Notsil, Aldivian farm girl."

"Hn...."

"Ton, Face, and Kell thought up a plan to bring down a black market scheme by using her. After that, she became a Wraith, which turned out to be right around the time that Ton died." Myn paused, "Odd timing," he muttered as he looked down.

Doc frowned deeply. "Go on...."

"Uh, at one point I went with her to Aldivy to meet her "brother", and played the role of sniper boy. Turned out that the Imps wanted her back. She didn't want to go, though, cause she'd gone Rebel. Eventually, I fell in love with her and had tried to convince her to do the same.

"Meanwhile, Face had been checking into some things and found out that Lara was really Gara. He mentioned it on open comm, by accidentl, and I flipped. I fired a torp at Lara, and Face had gotten in the way. somehow, the torp was detonated.

"I still don't even remember doing that." Myn reminded himself to thank Clink again when he returned to his room.

"Classic post-traumatic-stress syndrome..." she thought aloud quietly.

He nodded, "Yeah. Wedge chewed me out with one of my boots, and one of his, off. Oddest chewing out I ever got. Then, I went to Wes for some advice," he grinned. "Don't laugh."

She bit her lower lip and shook her head, biting back the chuckle that wanted to rise.

"But, somehow it worked. Then you know about the sled, and the Ultimate Antilles Trick. Lara left, and became a rancor in nerf's clothing on the Iron Fist.

"She helped us bring Zsinj down," he grinned. "She found a Kettch also. If you want to know who Kettch is, just ask Wedge or Wes.

"But, she told me through various messages that she didn't look for a mission to hurt me, but it was a mission."

Doc listened quietly to him all the while.

"She also went into another identity and named herself Kirney Slane, and began running a shipping operation." He sighed, "If I could only meet her."

After a pause, Myn looked to her. "Well, now you know my weaknesses. I believe that we can relate to each other much better now."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"So now you know that someone has had a life just as messed up as yours."

She nodded quietly, "I suppose so." Standing, she moved to place the Swan, front and centre, on the dresser. Then, she sighed heavily.

Myn looked down at his hands, giving her a few moments to assimilate the information. Then he looked back up to where she stood. "Anything you'd like to say? Or, anything I can do?"

"You saw the letter, Myn. Please.... Can you tell me if he was right... about having a future...." She hoped desperately she would be told that Ton was wrong.

"Doc, Ton had a future, and I believe he had a bright one ahead."

She placed the holo-record down beside the swan, and wrapped her arms around herself, still not turning to look at him. "Thank you..." she whispered.

"He was one of the jokers in the Wraiths. He was a great joke combination with Face. They were like brothers, you probably would have loved to have seen them together."

She nodded absently, "I wish I had...." She turned to face him slowly. "Myn? How long ago did he die?"

He looked down, unable to meet her gaze. "Two years ago."

"T.... Two... YEARS?!" In shock, she fell to her knees, then sat on the floor with her back to the bed, and Myn. "I only found out about three weeks ago," she finished with a whisper.

"Yeah, they didn't declassify the Wraith Squadron missions, including who died, until just a couple of months ago, after they were reclassified as Intel Wraiths."

"I could have tried to find out," she spoke quietly, then thought hard. "Two years, you say?"

He nodded, "Yeah, during our Hawkbat run."

She looked down, picking at a non-existant piece of lit on her dark grey flightsuit. "Maybe he didn't change after all..." she whispered to herself, not completely listening to Myn.

"Face tried to save him," he placed a hand on her shoulder comfourtingly. "He really did."

She nodded absently, "He's allergic to Bacta.... I used to help him when his patients needed it so he wouldn't get hurt," she offered with a partial smile. That's how we met....

"I know. As isolated as they were, they would have had to find a town to find any help."

"But he got to fly. He used to talk about that...."

"Yeah," Myn grinned. "He was good. Really good. He was a great doctor also." He paused, "He and Face were a flight of Silly Squadron."

She chuckled.

"Along with Kell, and Runt."

Suddenly, she slammed a palm on her thigh. "I get it!"

He looked down at her curiously, "Huh?"

"Don't you see?" she looked up at him ernestly, not smiling, but intent. "He didn't change... he was still Ton, he can't have...." She didn't finish her thought but jumped up and headed for the box of datadiscs on the small desk.

"No, he never changed. I'm not sure that, deep down, he ever gave up."

She palmed a switch and light flooded the room that wasn't from the open doorway. She started rummaging through the box. "If I'm right, there should be...."

"What, one of Ton's recordings of Face's holodramas?"

She shook her head, then found a disc slightly different from the others. She looked at the front and tossed it down on the bed, slapping a palm to her forehead. "I am such an IDIOT!" she growled as she sat back down on the floor.

"No you aren't. You aren't an idiot."

She put her head in her hands. "Yes I am... for two years I thought he'd changed, that he'd become what he was so determined to be when he left, after I patched him up...."

"I think that, in a way, Ton wanted you to find out for yourself before you would find the datadisc."

"How could I let myself lose faith in his heart like that..." she spoke quietly to herself.

"Well, if you had been stubborn and said "no" to what he left you, maybe..."

She looked up at Myn, spitting him with a fiery glare. "I helped put him back together when he nearly died at Endor. I was with him, at his side, day in and day out as he healed. Then, one day, I got called away for a moment on another doctor's patient, and when I returned.... He was gone. All I got for an explanation," she pointed to the sidetable where the holo of she and Ton sat, "was that note."

He sighed, "You could have looked for him."

"I tried to get in touch with him. Wrote a little to him every day, sending out a letter every week. I was about to mount a search of my own when they stuck me as a stupid CFS, then undercover on Coruscant before you Rogues came in," she growled.

Myn winced, "That ruined most of your chances there..."

"Don't tell me what I could or could not have done," she glared at him as she finished. "Lieutenant," she finished angrily as she worked her jaw, tears falling freely.

He sighed, "This is all hindsight. This will get both of us nowhere."

She looked away.

"Stop second guessing yourself about this Doc. What's done, is done."

"Yeah...."

"That's why I brought the holo record. So you could remember some of the good times he had."

"The word 'remember' implies having been there." And I wasn't....

"Okay," Myn sighed. "I'll remember, but you'll see, and maybe it'll remind you of the times that you two had together."

She half chuckled. "Surprises me you have holos of him at all. He used to hate having his image captured."

"Well, we forced him to. And we surprised him a couple of times."

She turned to look at Myn again. "Thank you."

"No, thank you. You have no idea how much I wanted to tell someone about my situation."

"If you need an ear to listen," she half smirked, "I've got two."

"You too. If you want to talk, you have friends."

"I'm not all that used to that, but I'll keep it in mind."

"What, talking? You're doing that right now."

She shook her head, speaking barely audibly. "No, having friends."

"Oh. You have friends now, I hope."

She nodded, "Looks like I'm starting to." Looking up at the wall chrono, she stood. "It's late," she said to change an uncomfortable subject.

He nodded, "Yeah. So, do you feel better or differently in any sort of way?"

She shrugged, "I'm sober, for the time being...."

Myn grinned. "A sober doctor is a much better doctor."

She shrugged, then smirked. "You owe me some Whyrens for those codes, you know...."

He grinned. "I know. I think I might have some in my quarters."

"Sometimes I wish I were Corellian," she chuckled. "You folks seem to have all the fun."

He laughed, "Well, not all the fun. There is Wes."

She smirked. "He's probably honourary."

"Well, yeah. I think Wedge might have warped him enough."

"All the more reason to have a party in his quarters," she grinned lopsidedly.

"Might get Tych in on this, along with Wes and Hobbie, so we can overpower him."

She shook her head. "Celchu'd probably tell on us."

"I don't know...." then he grinned evily. "There is Iella."

She shrugged. "You probably know her better than me. I only met her that one time I went to the symphony with..." she frowned suddenly, and moved to stand near the door. "It's late," she repeated.

"Yeah, I bet you want to sleep," he said as he followed her to the door.

She shrugged.

"Well," he grinned. "Goodnight, Doc."

She returned his grin with her usual lopsided one. "Goodnight Myn."

He walked out, and nearly tripped over Wily, who still stood by the bedroom door like a sentry. "Sith, is he a roadblock?"

Wily tootled, then blatted in response.

"No," Doc said. "He's just making sure nobody comes in that isn't invited. Rather loyal droid, eh?"

"Yeah, very loyal. Almost a Whistler." He grilled down at Wily, "Well, you take care of her."

The droid beeped a strong affirmative.

"Goodnight Myn."

He grinned and waved at her, then headed to the front door to head back to his quarters.

She palmed the door shut between them. Locked it, then went to lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She turned over and hugged the pillow to herself, and wept.

"Well," Myn mumbled to himself as he walked along. "I did my part, Wedge... now time for Doc to do hers."

* *

Hobbie tossed another bottle against the wall. It was past 0500. He hadn't slept and wondered just what kind of painkills Wes was taking, that he didn't wake up to see what all the breaking was about.

He blinked his eyes slowly. All night, and into the wee hours of the morning, he had been drinking and thinking. He had finally come to a decision.

Downing the last bottle, he stood. Dropping it to the floor, he stalked out the door and unsteadily walked down the hall toward Amanda's room. He looked at the multiple doors in his vision, and tried to palm the real one open. Whichever that was.

He succeeded in hitting the door several times, missing the switch entirely.

*

After Myn left, Doc had opened up, and finished off, a large bottle of Corellian Whisky. This was followed by several lum chasers. Empty bottles littered the floor, and she passed out atop the bed, dimly aware of a banging sound moments before the blackness took her.

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