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+ It's Never Easy to Say Goodbye +

By Shelonei

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Doc Anreson sighed as Wiley tootled insistently for her attention. She finished putting the first of her earrings in and went to see what had gotten her droid so riled up.

The green and silver astromech led her to her Intel datapad which had a small icon in the corner of the screen blinking discreetly.

Her heart sank, "What now?" she wondered quietly to herself as she typed in a few passwords to read the encoded message. "Sithspit," she muttered to herself. She would have to leave the squadron at 0520 the following morning.

She deleted the message, as instructed, and went back to getting ready for her date.

*******

Hobbie snapped the jewelry box shut and put it in his pocket. He was glad that things had finally settled down between Amanda and himself. Finally, he would be able to give her the necklace he'd bought for her a few missions back - where she'd been posing as Wes' girlfriend.

"You look fine, Doc loves you like you are, now get outta here!" Wes practically pushed him out the door, and as he stumbled around to protest, the door was shut in his face. With a shrug, Hobbie headed a few doors down.

*******

Things went rather without a hitch, There was no wait at the Alderaanian gardens, and the food was wonderful.

During their supper Doc put every bit of acting talent to bear, and never did Hobbie suspect that the melancholy was at work in her heart. They were happy to be spending time together - who knew when they would be called on yet another mission, who know whether they'd survive?

Neither cared, Amanda had finally made the decision to live for the moment, and they made sure every one would count.

*******

They stood outside the door to Doc's quarters. She knew that the packing droids would probably already be at work, and so did not invite Hobbie in for caf. He didn't notice the slight - he had other things on his mind.

Hobbie coughed and hemmed a bit. "I, uhm, I have a gift for you, Amanda."

She looked at him as though her mind had been in another place. "I'm sorry, Derek?"

He ran a hand through his hair, "Remember that mission a few back? The one where you went undercover as Wes' girlfriend?"

She nodded, not sure what he was getting at.

Hobbie smiled nervously. "I wanted to get you something special. . . something from me." He pulled a tan coloured jewelry box from his pocket. "So, I bought you this."

Amanda was so surprised, she was nearly in shock. "Oh my...."

"Open it," Hobbie told her quietly.

Gingerly, she took the box from him and slowly opened it. On a light blue silk pad lay a silver necklace with a deep blue coral pendant with a small and pearlescent seastone imbedded within. "It's beautiful," she whispered softly.

Without a word, Hobbie took the necklace and lifted it from the box, gently he clasped it behind her neck. She looked up at him with shining eyes, and to him she was so beautiful. "I love you," he said quietly before leaning down to claim a kiss.

"I love you too," she told him quietly when they parted, before wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly to herself.

She didn't want to let go of him. She didn't know if she would ever get him to hold her like this again. She didn't know.... She pushed the thoughts out from her head. Live for the moment, let the future take care of itself, she reminded herself in thought.

Hobbie was confused by her holding him so tightly as they hugged each other goodnight. "Are you alright, Amanda?"

"I'm fine, Derek," she told him as she pulled away with a smile that was halfhearted.

He tipped her chin up with his finger, "You sure?"

She nodded.

"Good. If you weren't I might have to do something rash," he smirked then gave her another quick hug before giving her a final kiss. "Goodnight, Amanda. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Derek," she replied softly as she entered her quarters, and he headed to his own.

*******

As the droids packed up her things, Doc packed up her shapeless pilots bag with the things she most needed, then sat at the small desk with three sheets of flimsy, three envelopes, and a pen. With a sad sigh, she began penning notes to the Rogues she felt the need to say goodbye to.

She slept lightly that night, waking at 0445 she was out the door by 0500. She headed down the hall, then slipped the first of the letters under his door.

Mike Ngo,

I wanted to thank you for your friendship. Maybe I'll get to see you again someday. Until then, take care of yourself.

Goodbye,

Amanda "Doc" Anreson

One down, two flimsynotes to go, she thought quietly to herself as she slipped down the hall.

*******

Soon, she was before Myn Donos' quarters. He had probably become her closest friend - he was the one person she knew she could talk to. She hoped to see him again someday, he made her think of her brothers.

Another door, another note.

Myn Donos,

Thank you for being my friend, and for being someone I could talk to. I'll be missing you, and I hope you find that special lady you're looking for.

I hope to see you again someday, so until then - take care of yourself.

Goodbye,

Amanda "Doc" Anreson

After slipping the note beneath the door, she stood. She paused a moment and thought perhaps to knock on the door in effort to speak to her friend one last time, but she knew she could not. With a sigh, she dropped her hand and headed to the door that she wished more than anything to avoid.

*******

Doc stood before Hobbie's door for five full minutes before she finally stooped to slip the letter beneath it. Slowly, she stood and touched the door. "Goodbye, Derek," she whispered softly.

Readjusting the pack's weight on her shoulder, Lieutenant Commander Doctor Amanda "Doc" Anreson turned and left the one place she'd felt welcome in a very long time, Wiley trundling along beside her.

*******

As Hobbie headed toward the kitchen to put on some caf, a bit of white near the doorway caught his attention. Once he put a cup in the warmer, he went to investigate. A note? He turned it over, and all it said on the envelope was "Klivian".

"For me?" He quirked an eyebrow in mild curiosity as the warmer pinged, announcing that his cup of caf was ready. He took it to the table and sat down, taking a sip before he opened it up.

He set the mug heavily on the table as his heart fell, "Oh gods...."

Derek,

My destiny has been taken control of once again, and so as I had been given to the Rogues, I am taken away.

Supper was so wonderful last nite, that I couldn't bear to tell you. I didn't want to ruin the magic of it. Please, forgive me.

I don't know where I'll be going, and even if I did I would ask you not to look for me. But, if you ever want to write, send a letter care of Ackbar or Cracken, and I'm sure it'll get to me. They have a knack of things like that.

Even if I am allowed to get a letter, I may not be able to write back.

I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you. Every time I see an ocean, I know I'll think of you. Perhaps, we'll meet on a shore somewhere. Someday.

I won't ask you not to forget me, I'd like to think you won't - and if you do, I'd like to think you found happiness.

Sometimes Love has to let go, and now is my turn.

I love you. Goodbye,

Amanda

P.S. If I can help it, I will never take off the necklace you gave me last nite. I will treasure it as long as I live.

He sat for, what seemed like, a lifetime as he read and re-read the letter. Just when things were beginning to pan out, he was dealt another losing hand at Sabacc.

And so was she.

He closed his eyes as a single tear trickled down his cheek. Roughly, he rubbed it away as he heard Wes moving around, getting ready to head to the mess for breakfast. He folded the letter and put it in his pocket before going to his own room to get ready for the day.

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