A Lifeday Special
By Shawn Lovelett
This was lost under a pile of tapes under George Lucas's bed earlier this
year. Hopping to create the "Magic" that was seen with the Star Wars Holiday
Special.
"Welcome to RHN, Rebel Holonews Network... And now for the Lifeday special
of cooking with Krinveedo."
Krinveedo: ::Standing before a large collection of pots and pans.:: Hello
everybody, I hope you are prepared for my special Imperial Cookies, heh heh
heh. Let's get out the main ingrediant the Imperial. ::opens a drawer and
pulls out a tied up live Imperial then flops him down on the table.::
::Flashes back to the main control room.::
Tycho: Where the hell did he get a live Imperial?
Wedge: I don't even want to know...::The door slams open.::
Face: I hate to bring down such a perfect party but has anyone seen Kell
Tainer?
Wedge: ::Is silent for a moment.:: ........... Tycho get me a close up on
the Imperial.
Tycho: ::Gets a close up on the Imperial on the table and sees it's Kell
Tainer.::
::Flashes back to Krinveedo as Wedge screams out a bunch of curse words.::
Krinveedo: Now you begin by tenderizing the meat.. ::Pulls out a pipe and
then suddenly Kell Tainer is removed from the table by two New Republic officers.::
Drats...I was figured out heh heh heh.. Anyway... From the motion of the blaster
waving from our beloved Commander Wedge Antilles I believe I am to make Wookie
Cookies now. Heh heh heh. So let's begin. ::he looks around the table, can't
seem to find it then checks another cabinet.:: WHAT THE!!! It's missing!
::he stomped off to another door and opened it.::
Shawn: ::Sitting in the room with some of his Jawa friends eating cookie
dough.::Yeah can I help you?
Krinveedo: ::Stood there for a second before the screen flashed off from
the cursing.::
::The screen was replaced by a Dancing Ewok.::
Wedge: Who designed this?
Tycho: Who do you think?
Wedge: I'm going to kill Wes....Yup I'm going to kill him. ::he said as the
image continued to play.:: Well I guess cooking with Krinveedo is canceled....Happy
Lifeday Tycho.
Tycho: Happy Life day Wedge.
Wedge: Happy Life Day Tycho. Let's put on the Lifeday program...Um... ::He
stops for a minute to look what is being recorded.:: Oh no...Fine put on A
Lifeday Carol.
::Switches back::
Palpatine: ::Sitting in bed like scrooge, playing the Scrooge part.:: ...........No
I do not think I wish to learn my past.
Yoda: ::Playing the part of Christmas past.:: Too bad it is but learn you
will.
Palpatine: I think...::Is cut off as he gets a funny look on his face and
falls forward in his bed.::
Krinveedo: OH SON OF JU-REL KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!! Heh heh heh. ::holding a
pipe.::Excuse me Mr. Puppet but I have a show to record. ::He said stepping
by Yoda and looking towards the camera.:: As I was saying before being suddenly
interrupted by that mean jerk! Anyway let us begin with making a.....::He
stops for a second.::
Palpatine: ::Laying on the floor crawling forward in pain.::I shall....destroy
worlds for...your...::Is cut off by Krinveedo kicking him in the ribs.::
Krinveedo: SILENCE! Krinveedo is speaking! Heh heh heh.
::Flashes back to the control room.::
Tycho: Wow that Rodian gets around.
Wedge: What happened to Shawn?
Tycho: Let's find out..::Flips back to the set, he notices that a BIG hole
is in the wall leading into the A Lifeday Carol. And Shawn was beaten up and
tied up against the wall.::
Wedge: Well that answers that question, see if you can get Corran to stop
him.
Tycho: But he's spending the holiday with Mirax.
Wedge: Oh yeah..Then...::He looks at the board.::Oh no... I don't want to
do this..I REALLY DON'T want to do this but he has left us no choice. ::He
put down the board once again.::
Tycho: You mean "you know who" is on Security Detail?
Wedge: Yup..::Hits the Security call in, then flashes back to the set with
Krinveedo.::
::The door blows open on the Life Day Carol set.::
Han Solo: I heard we got a Rodian problem here. ::Holding a DL-44.::
Krinveedo: Oh look at the time I've got to be going. Heh heh heh. ::Picks
up Palpatine and uses him as a human shield as he goes back into his original
set.::
Palpatine: AHHHHH THE STUN BOLTS HURT!!!
Han Solo: So? ::Fires two more shots into Palpatine before going towards
the other set.::
::Back at the other set.::
Krinveedo: Now..Now Mr. Solo please....
Shawn: HA!!! Now your going to get it! The Boss is after you.
Krinveedo: Be quiet and be the human shield that I need you to be. Heh heh
heh.
Han Solo: Now your coming with me..
Krinveedo: But I don't want to come with you! I want to host my show! ::he
cried in a loud whine.::
Han Solo: So? Now come on Greedo.
Krinveedo: MY NAME IS KRINVEEDO!! KRINVEEDO! Can't anyone say my name correctly!??!!
Heh heh heh.
Han Solo: Nope.. ::He stuns Krinveedo and then drags him off to the brig.::
::Flashes back to the main station.::
Wedge: Well this was an eventful evening.
Tycho: Yup full of surprises and all of that junk.
::End transmission.::
