One day when little Johnny was on vacation, he was bugging his mom. So she told him to go outside and play. Johnny went outside and down the street. Took a right and saw a burning building. He saw the firefighters rescue a little baby and save the day. He ran home all excited that he saw this, and started to tell his mother. She interrupted him, saying, I already heard it all on my scanner. Little Johnny pouts and goes to his room. The next day, his mother tells him to go out and play. Again he goes down the street and takes a left. This time he saw a car accident. He saw the ambulance show up and save the people's lives. He rushes home and starts to tell his mother what he saw. She interrupts saying she already heard it on her scanner. Again he pouts all the way to his room. The next day, she sends him out to play but this time he decides to take a right. He walks around farmer Paul's barn and sees him screwing a pig in the ass. He thinks to himself, "Man, I shouldn't be here!" He starts to sneak away when "snap", he steps on a twig. The farmer hears him and says, "Hey Johnny is that you. Johnny says "yeah." The farmer ask Johnny if he wants to try it. Johnny thinks why not and has himself the time of his life. When he's done he runs home and starts yelling, "Mommy, mommy, guess what I did today?!?!" he says, "OK, what?" He says "Mommy, I got laid!!" Snickering, she laughs, "In a pig's ass, you did!" Johnny, pissed, goes to his room yelling, "DAMN SCANNER!"