Eight Person Two Team Match: Degeneration X vs. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (continued)
Apollo: Well this is it, ladies and gentlemen, the final battle, because here comes the leader of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and he and The Game, Triple H, are both in perfect health and ready to fight!
JR: This should be a real slobber knocker!
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song starts blaring from the Titantron Speakers and Leonardo runs down the entrance ramp while pointing and yelling at Triple H, then climbs up onto the apron and steps into the ring. The bell rings, and the match is officially underway.
Both competetors stand toe to toe and stare each other down for a few moments, then exchange punches for a few moments. Suddenly Triple H reverses a whip into the ropes by Leonardo, jumps up and drives his knee right into Leonardo's head, sends the turtle falling to the canvass. The Game furiously kicks the green machine for a moment before taking a breather, and he walks across the ring to eye his opponent. Leonardo crawls over to a turnbuckle and Triple H suddenly starts yelling at the referee. X-Pac runs down the entrance ramp with medical tape all over his bruises and jumps into the ring while Triple H distracts the referee. Capitalizing on Leonardo's position in the ring, X-Pac does the crotch chop repeatedly and is obviously about to do the bronco buster on him! Suddenly, a pillar of flame erupts in an explosion at the top of the entrance ramp and Kane and Paul Bearer walk out of it towards the ring! X-Pac looks around frantically and Triple H doesn't even seem to notice Kane, because he's still yelling at the referee. Kane climbs into the ring and X-Pac runs at him to try to clothesline him, but Kane catches his throat and delivers a massive chokeslam on the tiny Degenerate. Triple H suddenly turns from the referee to see Leonardo exploding from the corner and clotheslining him right down into the canvass. The referee turns around and suddenly has his neck grabbed by Kane, who chokeslams him while Paul Bearer laughs maniacally. X-Pac begins to look around and almost tries to get up, but Kane picks him up and throws him over the top rope of the ring to the outside, then walks outside towards the announcer's table and grabs a steel chair. In the ring, Leonardo is choking the life out of Triple H, who isn't being told to break the hold because the referee is unconscious. Back outside the ring, Kane has a steel chair laid down on the ground and he's holding X-Pac upside down in preparation for his finisher, the Tombstone Piledriver! Suddenly Road Dogg runs out with a referee and Kane lets go of X-Pac as Road Dogg hits him in the forehead with a steel wrench. The referee dives into the ring and breaks Leonardo's choke hold (finally) and Leonardo climbs the turnbuckle to attempt a high-risk maneuver on Triple H. Outside the ring, X-Pac and Road Dogg are kicking Kane while he's down (literally), when suddenly The Undertaker runs down the entrance ramp and deals a clothesline out to the two Degenerates! In the ring, Leonardo leaps off the turnbuckle in an attempt at a senton bomb, but Triple H rolls out of the ring and falls on the concrete floor while Leonardo's head bounces off the mat and both competitors lie motionless.
JR: MAH GODD, WHAT IN THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?!!
Apollo: They don't call it 'high-risk' for nothing!
JR: THE UNDERTAKER'S BACK!!! MAH GODD, THE UNDERTAKER'S BACK, AND HE'S BEATING THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ROAD DOGG AND X-PAC! MAH GODD!
Apollo: All hell has broken loose here, folks, but my question is, where are the rest of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and why aren't they out here helping their leader?
JR: That's a DAMN good question! MAH GODD!
The Undertaker grabs X-Pac's arm and chucks him into the steel stairs outside the ring, then turns to Road Dogg and picks him up for a Tombstone Piledriver. Across the ring and on the outside, Triple H grabs Leonardo's legs and drags him over to the turnbuckle. He puts the turtles' legs on either side of the steel ring post, then pulls the turtle as hard as he can into the ring post - a low blow to the tenth power! Back on the other side of the ring, The Undertaker delivers the Tombstone Piledriver to Road Dogg - ON TOP OF THE STEEL CHAIR! His head bounces off the chair and he lies on the floor, unconscious, and The Undertaker turns his attention to checking on Kane. Billy Gunn runs down the entrance ramp with a hammer and smacks The Undertaker on the back of the head with it, however, and both of Paul Bearer's children are down on the ground practically motionless. Paul Bearer runs away from the ring altogether in fear of Degeneration X, while inside the ring Leonardo ducks a clothesline attempt by Triple H. Triple H keeps running, however, and can't stop his momentum before he flies into the referee and knocks him down. Triple H assesses the damage he did, while Leonardo climbs the turnbuckle for another high-risk maneuver attempt. Triple H realizes he can't do anything about the referee and turns around just in time to see Leonardo fly off the top rope and give him the biggest clothesline he's ever seen! Triple H rolls across the ring from the impact and Leonardo runs over to him and pins him, but there's no referee to count! The crowd goes wild with shouts when suddenly Michaelangelo runs out to the ring with a referee shirt on! On his way to the ring, however, Billy Gunn surprises him with a shot to the head with a steel chair and Mike falls down next to Kane and The Undertaker. The crowd boos, but then cheers when they see Donatello and Raphael making their way to the ring with an official referee! Donatello and Raphael give Billy Gunn a double clothesline while the referee runs around them to get into the ring, but before he gets there X-Pac jumps into the ring and throws Leonardo off of Triple H! Leonardo turns his attention to X-Pac but X-Pac runs away, and while Leo isn't looking Triple H gives him a blatant low blow! Outside the ring, Donatello and Raphael catch X-Pac and double power bomb him onto the steel chair that The Undertaker had tombstoned Road Dogg onto! Billy Gunn is back up, however, and climbs the turnbuckle inside the ring while the turtles aren't looking. Triple H sets Leonardo up for the Pedigree after his low blow, but Leonardo counters with a back body drop that lays The Game out in the middle of the ring. Meanwhile, Billy Gunn leaps off the top rope and delivers an enormous cross body block onto the two unsuspecting turtles outside the ring. Kane is back up, however, and when Billy Gunn gets up and turns around he gets picked up by the big red machine and tombstoned onto the steel chair right away! Meanwhile, in the ring, Leonardo suplexes the leader of Degeneration X into the middle of the ring and pins him. ONE! TWO! BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!
Titantron Speakers: Don't treat me like a woman... don't treat me like a man... don't treat me like you know me... just treat me for who and what... I... AM!!!
JR: What the hell? It looks like Chyna wants to join the party, but why did the referee stop counting when her music hit?
Apollo: The referee's probably jumping at every sound he hears, what with the other two referees for this match being UNCONSCIOUS and everything...
JR: That's very true.
Chyna fires off her pointless green bazooka at the top of the entrance ramp, but rather than make her way to the ring she just stands there.
Titantron Speakers: I think I'm CUTE! I know I'm SEXY! I've got the LOOKS! That drive the girls wild, I've got the MOVES! That really MOVE 'em! I send CHILLS! Up and down their spines, I'm just a Sexy Boy...
JR: MAH GODD, IT'S THE COMMISSIONER OF THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION!!!
Apollo: What in the world is Shawn Michaels doing here?
JR: Well both the Heart Break Kid and the Ninth Wonder of the World used to be members of Degeneration X, but I have no idea what they're doing out here!
Apollo: Neither do I, but judging from the looks on their faces, they're planning on doing SOMETHING.
JR: And here they come down the ramp! What do HBK and Chyna have on their minds?
(And now, I'd like to offer a small description of what exactly is happening right now so you can picture this scene more easily. Triple H is lying in the middle of the ring face down, and Leonardo and the referee are leaning against the ropes watching Chyna and Shawn Michaels walk down towards the ring. The Undertaker is slumped against the side of the ring on the side of the ring closest to the entrance ramp, and he is now stirring after the shot to his head with a wrench he received earlier. B.A. Billy Gunn and X-Pac are still unconscious from the Tombstone Piledrivers they received on the steel chair that is lying a few feet away from The Undertaker. Road Dogg is also unconscious after being double power bombed onto the chair, and lying next to him is Michaelangelo, who was hit in the head with that very steel chair earlier. So basically you have The Undertaker, Billy Gunn, Road Dogg, X-Pac, and Michaelangelo lying around outside the ring barely moving. Donatello and Raphael are climbing to their feet after the cross body they received from the top rope by Billy Gunn earlier, and Shawn Michaels and Chyna are approaching them. Oh, and Kane's walking around the ring randomly not really knowing what's going on. Whew, there we go... back to the story.)
Donatello and Raphael cautiously approach HBK and Chyna, but Chyna pulls out her pointless green bazooka from behind her back and fires it directly into Donatello! Donatello screams and covers his eyes, and collapses next to the pile of fallen fighteres. Raphael runs toward Chyna in a rage, but Shawn Michaels trips him and Chyna grabs him on the way down for a front-faced DDT. Meanwhile, in the ring, while the referee and Leonardo are watching this scene and yelling, Triple H gives Leonardo yet ANOTHER low blow, then rolls him up for a pin. The referee takes a few seconds to realize there's a cover and hops to his knees to count. ONE! TWO! And a kickout after two. Chyna hops up onto the apron while HBK makes his way around the ring on the outside, and Chyna grabs the referee and starts yelling and pointing to the pile of bodies outside the ring. Leonardo and Triple H exchange a couple right hands, when suddenly Shawn Michaels jumps into the ring and before Leonardo realizes he's there, the Heartbreak Kid gives the turtle his finisher, Sweet Chin Music! Leonardo's head snaps back after that brutal kick to the face, and he falls to his knees. Leonardo starts to get up, but Triple H locks him into the Pedigree before he gets up completely. Chyna glances over at The Game and hops down from the apron, watching the count with HBK. Triple H delivers his deadly Pedigree, then rolls Leonardo over and hooks his leg. ONE! TWO! THREEEEEE!!!!!!
JR: This match is finally finished-
Apollo: And mercifully!
JR: Well I'll tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that match was one of the most amazing shows of athletic ability I've seen in my entire career...
Apollo: And I have a feeling it's not completely over, either... look at that!
The titantron speakers are blaring the Degeneration X remix by Run DMC, and Shawn Michaels and Chyna turn around to walk back up the entrance ramp and leave. As soon as they turn around, however, Kane grabs each of their throats and choke slams BOTH of them! Triple H rolls Leonardo out of the ring and turns his attention to Kane, who is climbing up onto the apron. Triple H runs up to Kane to hit him, but Kane extends his arm and grabs the Degenerate's throat, then casually choke slams him. Suddenly Tori, X-Pac's girlfriend, runs down the entrance ramp with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Triple H's wife, and they both run into the ring. Stephanie's holding the WWF Championship of her husbands' and Tori's holding a steel chair, which she hits Kane over the head with. Kane doesn't even flinch, however, and when Stephanie follows the chair shot up with a shot to the head with the WWF title, Kane simply glares at the girls and grabs their throats. He then choke slams both of them, and whips his head back to get the hair out of his eyes. He ritualistically raises his arms in preparation for his trademark fireworks, and he quickly drops his arms and head as fire erupts from every turnbuckle in the ring. The Kane remix by the Eastsidaz then starts playing from the Titantron speakers, and he steps over the top rope as he leaves the ring on his way out of the arena.
JR: Mah Godd, it looks like there's been a CAR WRECK out here!
Apollo: Well Degeneration X just pulled a HUGE upset over the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but the bottom line here is that Kane tore everyone apart that he saw and THE UNDERTAKER'S back!
JR: That's right, Apollo, and he just got up and started walking up the ramp... well I tell you what, I have never seen such a chaotic match as that one in years, and although I don't condone their actions, I have to admit that DX got the job done.
Apollo: That is definitely the case, whether anyone likes it or not, and with that in mind can we get someone out here to clean up this mess of unconscious bodies?
JR: While the people working here set up the ring for the next match, we're going to go to Obi-Wan Kenobi for an interview with one of the competetors in tonight's main event, Space Ghost. Ben?
The Titantron shows Ben Kenobi backstage on a cheap looking TV screen next to Space Ghost
Ben: So Space Ghost, you may be a talk show host, but you're one of the favored winners in tonight's main event. Is there any particular strategy you're planning on using?
Space Ghost: I know... I'll get the blob... to KILL the OTHERS!
Ben: Why don't you just go to the beach and rust? Then you'll never sleep!
Space Ghost: Well gee, that's a great plan, Ben, but if we could get to the beach, we wouldn't need to be metal plated!
stunne silence for a few minutes, then Ben realizes he's being an idiot
Ben: Back to you, JR (see, I told you that wouldn't work, you stupid cartoon character) (Space Ghost: I will blast you so hard that your head will spin backwards, back to a time where bugs wore suits and served ma--)
JR: Uh, yeah that was pretty interesting...
Apollo: Anyway, this next match is going to be for position of Special Guest Referee for tonight's Royal Rumble, and this will be a crazy matchup indeed-
JR: AND IT'S COMING UP NEXT!