Britney Humor
Britney Spears Humor
DISCLAIMER for those of you who haven't gotten it yet: I do not wish Britney any harm, nor do I hate her, this is just supposed to be good for a laugh.
Britney Spears Humor
WARNING: Knee surgery may cause swelling of the breasts!!
....My fave Britney Spears related quote:
"I'm greatly concerned by the actions of a certain purple Teletubby. It
appears that the stress of being outed by Jerry Falwell has led him to a
pathetic attempt to pass as a heterosexual by appearing to suckle the
breast of Britney Spears. Tinky - it's far better to be gay than to be a
pedophile. Take your purse and go find love with Bert and Ernie."
-Ron Wade, Royal Oak, Michigan (Rolling Stone reader)
Britney....? A Rapist???
I found this Britney article on an Anti-Britney site. I couldn't believe it!! Britney? Sexually assaulting a fan?! Shame on her... It
also mentions she abused her former boyfriend: her COUSIN!! *LMAO* Maybe some of what they say about Southern inbreds is true! So I copied the article below so you can check it out. Is it true? You be the
judge. I had heard about this but just ignored it. Well, I'll shut up so you can read.
NOTE: In case you think I'm the one who wrote this... I DIDN'T!!
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Pop princess guilty in Internet date-abuse case
April 24, 1999
Web posted at: 12:03 p.m. EST (1647 GMT)
By Jim Goodman
LOUISIANA (CNN) -- Pop princess Britney Spears was convicted Friday of
sexually abusing a high school student on their first date after meeting
him on the Internet. The verdict came early in the jury's third day of
deliberations against Britney Jean Spears.
Her attorney says there will be an appeal.
Spears -- a 17-year-old pop artist from Louisiana -- sexually abused
the male teen after he showed up at her Kentwood home. Britney SpearsHe
spent more than 2 hours there until Spears released him.
Spears, who faces sexual assault charges, wept after the verdict
was read. She was found guilty of kidnapping, sexual abuse and two
counts of assault. The jury acquitted her of sodomy and aggravated
sexual abuse.
The defendant had been free on $350,000 bail during the trial. She was
ordered jailed while awaiting his sentencing on November 6.
Defendant's family blasts judge, blames teen.
Lawyer Edward Silverman, a spokesman for the Spears family, read a
statement outside the courtroom blasting how acting state Supreme Court
Justice William Richardson handled the case.
"We are confident the appellate court will rectify the clear legal
errors and palpable miscarriage of justice committed in and by the trial
court," Newman said.
During the three-week trial, prosecutors called 10 witnesses --
including the victim. He was not in the courtroom when the verdict was
returned.
Spears's attorney, George Litman, told jurors it was the teen, a
high school student, who suggested the meeting that led to his captivity
and abuse in Spears's home on March 18, 1999.
The pair had met online, and had exchanged e-mails.
"It is an insult to your intelligence to suggest that he didn't
know what was going to go on when he got there," Litman said during
summations.
Prosecutors bristled at that remark.
"A teenage boy who goes over to a celebrity's house does not ask to
be sexually assaulted," Assistant District Attorney Gail Heatherly told
the jury. "I'm asking you to condemn the defendant [Spears] for what she
did."
'Identical attack on former boyfriend'
During the trial, jurors never heard from Spears's former
boyfriend, a cousin of her, who was ready to testify that she had abused
him with what she described as the same kind of sadistic violence.
Court papers released Tuesday say Spears "performed a chillingly
identical attack on her former boyfriend" in October 1998 -- six months
before the attack for which she was convicted. Spears and her cousin had
both been on a Disney television program.
Richardson had ruled that the teen's testimony was overly
prejudicial and barred him from testifying.
© 1999 Cable News Network. All Rights Reserved.
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So what do you think of this article? Personally I think it's BS, but who knows. Britney is better off in jail anyway!!.
Somebody obviously had way too much time on their hands to come up with
a story like this. But it's good for a cheap laugh.
A Brit-Brat Top Ten List...
Top Ten Possible Song Titles On Britney's Next Album:
10. Cousin Lovin'
9. It's Like, You Know?
8. These D's Are Mine
7. The Bleach Goes On
6. I Helped Backstreet (Yes I Did)
5. I Wear Short Shorts
4. (You Drive Me) Crunk - co-written by Justin Timberlake
3. So Hard To Swallow
2. Implants Are A Girl's Best Friend
1. On Your Knees Bitch, One More Time (Duet with 'N Sync)
Links to sites that helped me with this Britney humor.... *N Sync N Duces Vomittingor Hit Them All One More Time
Or go HOME!!