December 21, 1999

One Year Ago, Today

I felt the need to share something from my heart.....1 year ago today I took a fall at a local resteraunt here in town, resulting in a MRI. Not able to get a appointment till the last of Febuary with a specialist I went in the latter part of Feb. for the MRI then I was schueled for several more during the month of Feb and April. The last of April I was diagnosed with a Brain Tumor encompasssing the majority of the 4th ventricle and sitting on the Brain Stem, I felt as tho I was in a dark cave at this time. I came home that day devastated but yet with the intentions to ignore it and go ahead and work and do all the things I had always done. As the days ahead begin I found out I was wrong and was not going to be able to ignore or merely try to fix this on my own.The pain became to much for me to bear and soon Hospice was called in to assist. May-June-July and August I can tell you that I remember very little. The one thing I do remember is the day they told us I probaly would not live 3 months and probaly not to Christmas of this year. Well the days have been sometimes hard sometimes the pain has been very intense. But I serve a God that calls all my shots, and I know He walks and talks with me daily and through the long nights when it seems the morning will never come. I believe in Prayer and there is Power in Prayer. I know only by the Lord am I still alive and able to enjoy life and my daughter, and those around me. i praise God for everyday that I am able to have another day to make someone laugh, pray for someone or share something that the Lord has laid on my heart. None of us are promised the very next breath that we breathe....so it pays to be ready to meet the Lord just in case we are called home. I may not make it through Christmas, this year,but I am fightening to and the Lord knows I want to be here, for my Tosh and for others. Should He call me home I am ready, but I feel in my heart there is more He wants me to do. The work for our Lord never ends, whether we are sick or not. Never think the lord can't use you because you are sick for He can and will, if you will make yourself available to Him. My greatest desire is to do all I can for God's Kingdom-to see souls saved-delivered and set free. There is a lost and dieing world out there that needs us, to reach out and help them. We must press forth and do all we can. I praise God that He has extended my time here on earth now I want to use that time wisely for the Lord. We all need to make time for God count, there is no excuse to use. God gave His only Son to die for us..surely there is something we an do for Him.

I praise the Lord for each of you that have prayed and stood beside me not only on the bad days but the good days as well-thank you so much and please know that I love and appreciate you very much. I dont know what tommorrow holds but I do know who holds my hand. I have come close to death many times these past 9 months but God knows what is in store for my life. I never want any of you to think that I dont appreciate the times you pray for me.....for I do appreciate you and I love you all I always wanted a spiritual family and thats just what God gave me when He gave me "The Gray Box Family" I love you all and you mean the world to me. I thank God everyday for each of you, thanks for making my life easier to cope with each day.....
God is still in the miracle working business.......
just believe.
Love Deb 12-21-99