On the plane from Chicago to New Hampshire I wound up sitting next to a professor of anthropology. I was all excited to talk about tribal cultures or something, but the conversation we had instead was still very interesting. We got to talking about our families, and it came out that my mother had died six and a half years ago. Of course he said he was sorry. I was sorry, too, for bringing it up, because this is usually when it gets awkward. Instead... well, for the life of me I can't remember exactly how he phrased it. But it was something to the effect of, perhaps this tragedy had helped me to develop a deeper sense of spirituality. Well, wow. For one thing, we hadn't discussed anything remotely spiritual up to that point... other than him asking somewhat randomly if I'd ever been to the Baha'i temple in Wilmette (a subrub of Chicago). But moreover, I'd never thought about it like that before. The jury's still out on whether or not Mom's death actually did that for me...but he really got me thinking.
I've only been able to believe the cliche about "everything happens for a reason" to a certain extent. Some events in life, sure, you can look back from the wisdom of time and see that perhaps there was some kind of "purpose." You didn't get that job in Boston because you were meant to stay in Phoenix and meet the man of your dreams or whatnot. But let's face it, sometimes shite happens for no good "reason" at all. Will you sit there and tell me that Mom died so young for the sole purpose of helping me develop spiritually? I don't buy that. What about that sicko who molested me, what are the grounds for that? And it's not just me. There are billions of tragedies and abuses in this world that you'd be hard pressed to tell those suffering, "Oh, well, this is all happening for a reason." Bull cookies. Some things you just can't rationalize. I believe in karma, but even that doesn't justify everything that happens in this world.
Here I borrow from Daniel Quinn's ideas and ask, isn't it a bit vain to suppose that we can know the will of the gods (or the Higher Power, or God, or Tao, or Providence, or however you wish to view it)? Suppose potato bugs eat 25% of a crop. What would the human farmer see as the reason for this? No idea, but I'm willing to bet he declares war on the "pests" and introduces a new barrage of chemicals on his crop next season. What's the reason the potato bugs see? Heck, they're just out looking for dinner. What's good for one is "evil" for another. That's just the way the world works. ("Nature is never right or wrong, it simply is"-- credit Deng Ming-Dao.)
And if we're constantly moping about the "bad" things that happened to us and trying to establish some cosmic "reason" for it, aren't we then missing out on life itself as we ponder this? What bigger tragedy could there be than that?
At the same time, there's a lot to be said for "when life hands you lemons." Two people can be put in the exact same situation, and each can take to it a profoundly different attitude. One person who was abused as a child might go on to abuse others, and blame their past on their present actions. Another child from the same abusive household might seek counseling as an adult, and maybe go to school to become a therapist themself, and will look back and say that their own traumatic experience is now helping them help others. Or they might say, "What happened to me was horrible, but it has made me who I am today, and I'm a better and stronger person because of it."
Is there such a thing as fate? I'm positive that there is. But I don't believe that anything is predetermined absolutely. The gods can give you a nudge in one direction, but it's up to you if you choose to continue that way or to forge your own. Fate leads you to the edge, and it's up to the individual to actually take the plunge.
In short, I believe that sometimes things do happen for a reason. But other times, you have to make the "reason" happen.
"Whether life itself has a meaning or not, it is up to us to give it a meaning. In the hand of an inspired artist a worthless lump of clay turns into a priceless work of art. Should we not likewise try to make something out of the common day of our lives?" Lama Anagarika Gouinda
