Saturday was the most gorgeous day we've had in...well, a long time. First time i've been able to wear shorts since we got back from San Diego. I've been lapsing in the walking meditation so i decided to go to the forest preserve again. Not that it wasn't a  pleasant experience in winter (so long as i remembered a hat and gloves), but the increased greenery and activity of wildlife made it that much more pleasant now that spring is upon us. Although, instead of meditating per se, i would up doing a lot more real thinking -- and reminiscing -- in this walk on the bike path in the woods.

Because the foot has been getting much better (amazing how well a body can heal when you allow it to rest), i was able to walk a lot farther than even a month ago. The first time i ventured off the path was in a small clearing. Still don't know what compelled me to do so, or to stop walking and stand still for a moment. But then i turned and saw two female white-tailed deer grazing on the field's edge, closer to the trees. I was upwind, so they couldn't smell me, though they did appear to keep a cautious eye as they continued their meal.  I stood for a good five minutes, maybe more...the closest they got to me was maybe 75 feet, before they gradually made their way back to the forest. I smiled. When i was much younger, Mom and i (and sometimes Dad) used to ride our bikes along this trail. Sometimes we went all the way up to the botanic gardens (18 miles away) but more often just locally, and sometimes we deliberately went in the very early morning so we could go "deer watching." I felt a little twinge remembering Mom. Stood there a little longer, then made my way back to the path.

I'd forgotten how close "civilization" encroaches on the forest preserve, other than the bike path itself, that is. At one point, just ten feet off the path is a chainlink fence that "keeps out" the parking lot of a strip mall. At this point i think about the implications of forest "preserve", how sad that our civilization has to mark off areas to preserve as we build our own forests of concrete and asphalt. The Native Americans never had to do that, they just lived with Nature, because they quite rightfully revered and respected her. It then occurs to me the irony that the U.S. government also had to establish "reservations" for those indigenous peoples as they decided they wanted more land for its own citizens. We preserve, we reserve, and certainly that's better than just annhialating it. But really, what does it say about us, that we don't just leave well enough alone. This sad parallel continued to depress me till another stream of thoughts came along.

Later i came by a really beautiful spot by a river you had to climb down a somewhat steep incline to get to. Feeling adventurous, i did so... erm, well, it was more of a stumble/slide than climbing down per se. But it was worth it. Decided that if the weather stays this nice, i'm going to start taking books down there and reading in the woods. This would be the perfect spot: far enough off the path, but not too far. With greater difficulty, i climbed back up the incline and back to the path. Walked maybe 200 feet before realizing that the huge hill was starting to go down, and the slope down to the riverbed here was much more shallow and gradual. As i laugh at myself thinking how silly i was to struggle and climb down the hard way, another pleasant memory comes up. When i still went to the university in Ohio, one Saturday, Serena and i had our own little adventure. We hiked in the woods by school (which was awesome by itself) and came upon a river. We climbed/stumbled/slid down to the bank, not too differently from what i had just done. Then we tried to cross it going over rocks that turned out to be not as stable as they looked!!! We got soaked and filthy, but it was a total blast. I can't remember if i ate anything that day but i must have to have been able to have the strength to do all that. Oh, it was such a great day... but it was about three weeks before i got really sick and had to take the medical withdrawal... *sigh*

After getting to a major road you have to cross to continue on the path, i decided to turn around. At first just walking, then i randomly decided to jog. Other than warmups with skating, or skating itself, i haven't done anything impact since the stress fracture first occurred... and that was, what, July? (Geez, the fact that it still hurt in March really goes to show i wasn't taking good care of it...eeeeep). Anyway, the foot had been behaving with walking all this way, so i figured why not give it a shot. According to the trail markers, i did have to stop after about half a mile. It wasn't the foot, though, nor was i in the least bit out of breath (surprised i'm still in good shape!). Nope, it was my damn knees. (@#$%, i will probably not know till i get arthritis at age thirty just how much damage i've done to my body.) It was the kind of pain that for skating or skating-related-workout i would have ignored and kept going. But since i only had to answer to myself on this one, i listened to my body and stopped.

As dumb as that sounds, and knowing i always could've done that with skating -- that is, stood up for my right not to be in pain even when the coaches basically tell you to "suck it up" -- it was strangely liberating. It's been a long time since i've acknowledged that my body belongs to me and i have a right, if not a duty, to take care of it.

Who knew the woods could harbor so much wisdom?