CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Todd held the gun against Peter’s head and whispered in his ear. “You didn’t really think I’d allow you to hurt her did you? And I know you really didn’t think I’d let you touch a hair on the head of my child did you, Dad?” He breathed in a flat, deadly voice. He cut his eyes toward Clarice. “I want you to take Starr and get out of here Clarice, hurry,” he said urgently. He put his hand in Peter’s pocket and fished out his car keys. He tossed them at her feet. “Take his car and get as far away from here as you can.” Clarice snatched up the keys and grabbed her clothes that were in a pile on the floor and hurriedly threw them on.
Todd wrapped a forearm across Peter’s throat and dragged him backwards away from Clarice.
Clarice laced up her shoes and opened the door. Starr had fallen asleep on the floor. She was curled into a little ball. Clarice felt tears sting her eyes. She was so tiny and innocent. She reached down and lifted the sleeping child into her arms.
“Daddy,” Starr asked groggily.
“No, sweetie. I’m a friend of you’re Daddy’s. I’m Clarice and we are going to leave now.”
“But, I want to see my Daddy. He promised I could see my Daddy!” Starr began to cry pitifully.
Clarice fought to keep from breaking down. “Shh… sweetheart. Come on, put you’re arms around my neck. You will see you’re Daddy, I’m going to take you to his house, okay? Then you and I, we’ll wait together for him. He loves you so much, honey. He can’t wait to see you.”
Starr wrapped her little arms around Clarice’s neck. She had her legs hooked around her waist.
Clarice put Starr’s head down on her shoulder. “I want you to keep you’re eyes shut, Starr.”
Starr nodded. “Okay Clarice,” she said sweetly.
Clarice began to slowly walk out with Starr in her arms. Her heart was racing in her chest like a locomotive. Please God, let me get her to safety.
Todd pressed the gun hard against Peter’s temple. “You keep you’re mouth shut. Or I’ll blow you’re brains out,” he hissed in his ear. He watched Clarice and Starr cross the garage. His eyes filled with tears. His baby girl, she was so beautiful. He loved her beyond reason. She was the one and only thing in his life that he ever did right. She was his heart and his soul. Starr, and now Clarice, were the two reasons that he was still alive and fighting.
Peter took a calculated risk. “Hey Starr! Guess who’s here? You’re Daddy!” He shouted.
Everything seemed to happen at once. Starr raised her head and her eyes connected with her Father’s. She began to yell. “Daddy? Daddy! … Daddy! I’m here!” She struggled to get out of the tight hold Clarice had on her.
Todd roared like a lion and hit the side of Peter’s head with the gun. Peter rammed his elbow back into Todd’s stomach and broke the hold he had on him.
Starr wriggled out of Clarice’s arms and began running towards Todd. Clarice sprinted after Starr and scooped the child up from behind. Starr was struggling desperately. “Let me go! Let me see my Daddy! I wanna see my Daddy!” She screamed. Todd grunted as Peter’s elbow connected with his stomach. Peter shoved Todd back against the wall and grabbed his hand knocking it violently against the wall. The P7 fell to the ground. Todd kicked it before Peter could grab it. It went skidding across the floor. He head-butted Manning sharply. Peter was momentarily stunned.
Clarice was huddled on the floor with Starr, forcibly holding the hysterical, screaming child down. She pushed Starr’s head into her chest. “Please sweetheart, hush. Please Starr, please…” Clarice had a finger hold on her composure. She was moments away from hysteria. She watched horrified as Todd fought for his life.
Todd took advantage of Peter’s momentary lapse and did a quick combination, a hard punch to his nose and a bloodletting uppercut to his chin. Peter fell to the ground. Todd stood over him breathing through his mouth. He had his hands up around his face. “Come on, you coward,” he growled. “It’s you an me now. ME. The one and only Todd Manning. I’ve been dreaming of this for years. Get the fuck up,” he snarled. Peter rolled to his feet and stepped in, quickly jabbing Todd in the face.
Todd’s head snapped back. He licked a drop of blood at the corner of his mouth and grinned. “That all you got old man? Huh? You fight like a fuckin’ pussy,” he taunted. He circled around Peter. “But then again, I’m not a small child or a helpless woman, am I?”
Peter laughed in his face. “You’re just like me. Don’t you get that yet, Todd? You’re a rapist, a violent sociopath. You held that Saybrook bitch down and fucked her till her ears rang. Then you sat and watched her get raped again, you sat and watched, Todd. It’s in you’re blood. It’s who you are. And it’s just a matter of time before you look to Starr to fulfill you needs, and you’re desires. Just like I did with you.”
A black curtain fell over Todd’s eyes. He charged Peter and knocked him to the ground and was upon him like a wild animal. He sat on his chest and reached back hitting him as hard as he could. Twenty-five years of hate, anguish, betrayal, and hurt was in that punch. He reached in his pocket and flipped open his blade and held it to Peter’s throat. “I am nothing like you, old man,” he whispered. His lips barely moved. Todd looked like a stone killer. “Don’t think for one minute that I’m like you. I have carried around the guilt for what I did to that woman and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. But, here’s the difference. Marty forgave me. Because I do have a soul and she could see that. I am capable of love and of loving someone other than myself. Unlike you,” he spat venomously.
Peter glared at him and tried to struggle free. Todd was sitting high on his chest and his knees were grinding into his forearms. He was staring down at him with those amber eyes of his. They glinted yellow and glowed in his face like an animals. He felt of fission of uneasiness race through him. “Bullshit, boy. You are incapable of change.” Todd threw back his head and laughed harshly. “No. You have it the other way around. You are the sick, sick monster who’s not capable of change.”
He brought his face down to within inches of Peter’s. He dug the point of the knife into Manning’s throat, smiling when a trickle of blood ran down his neck. “And I’ll tell you something else. My daughter is the most precious thing in my life. I would die for her in a heartbeat. I am a good Father, and unlike you, it’s all I know how to be. Starr loves me just as much as I love her. I bet you hate that don’t you? That I can be a normal, loving parent despite the things you did to me,” his voice cracked a little. “All the times you beat me for no reason. All the times you burned me because it was fun for you.”
He breathed harshly as he felt the tears come. He was going to say the words… he finally could say the words. “And all the times you held me down and raped me,” he said breathlessly. He felt light-headed as a rush of relief and empowerment flooded through him. He felt himself grow stronger. “How could you do that to me? Huh? I was just a kid. An innocent child.” Tears dripped off his chin and he angrily swiped them with the back of is hand. “But, I’ll tell you this. I will never, could never hurt my child. Do you understand me, Dad? If I thought I was capable of that kind of vile, sick, inhuman, behavior I would put a bullet in my head. I would end my life before I’d hurt Starr or any other child.”
He was trembling from head to toe. “And you know what the sick thing was Dad? I loved you, through it all. All I ever wanted was for you to love me and to be proud of me.”
Peter glared at him. “I could never love you. You weren’t mine. You were, and still are, a bastard. I despise you.”
Todd stared coldly at him. His face was carved in stone. “I no longer care what you think. You have no power over me, not anymore. And the feeling is mutual. You mean nothing to me. You’re not my father. You never were. The closest thing I ever had to one is Sam. A good and decent real man, one you could never be like. Not in a million years.”
Peter worked his arm free and swung wildly. He clipped Todd on the chin and knocked him off balance. The two men rolled on the ground. Peter was on top of Todd and had a hold of Todd’s wrist. He was forcing the knife towards his heart.
“TOOOODD!” Clarice screamed.
Todd bared his teeth and fought with all his strength to stop the knife from plunging into his chest. With a Herculean push, he stiff armed Peter and brought the knife up sharply. It caught Peter high in his breastbone. It was buried to the hilt. His eyes widened in shock, as he gasped for air. He slumped forward on top of Todd.
Todd flipped him over on his back. He scrabbled backwards and drew his knees up to his chest. He was struggling for breath. He wrapped his arms around his knees and stared into the dead face of the man who raised him, abused him, and shaped him into the person that he was.
Todd squeezed his eyes shut. He was what he was.
A survivor.
A strong man, who defeated a monster and lived.
He rose gracefully to his feet. “I forgive you,” he whispered. “Not for you…but for me.” Todd walked over to the table where his father’s long coat was. He covered Peter’s body. He didn’t want Starr to see it.
He walked over to Clarice. He knelt in front of her touching her beautiful face. Running his fingers lightly over her cheeks, brushing the tears away. “Hi,” he whispered softly.
“Hi back,” she said through her tears. “I think there’s someone here who really needs her Daddy.” She looked down at Starr whose head was buried in Clarice’s neck. Todd smiled and gently placed his hand on his daughter’s head. “Hey…Shortey? You’re old man really needs a hug. How about it?”
Starr lifted her head fearfully. “Daddy?” She trembled. “Daddy…I was so scared. Oh, Daddy… I missed you!” She flung herself into her father’s arms.
Todd wrapped his arms around his girl and wept unabashedly. He held her in his arms and sobbed while rocking her, breathing in her smell. Holding her close, and luxuriating in the sheer bliss of having his daughter in his arms.
She put her small hands on his face. “Daddy? Please don’t cry. Don’t cry.”
He smiled through his tears and kissed her hands. “I can’t help it, sweetheart. I am just so happy to see you. I love you so much, Starr. I couldn’t live without you. And I was so scared, so scared.” He buried his face in her hair. “Come on… let’s go home.” He looked up and locked eyes with Clarice.
She was crying and laughing at the same time. “It sounds good to me.”
The three of them left the garage. Todd with Starr in his arms, and Clarice on the other side of him clasping his hand. They walked out into the crisp winter air without once looking back.
CHAPTER EIGHTTEEN
SAUSALITO SIX MONTHES LATER
It was one of those perfect Northern California summer days. The azure blue sky had a few white puffy clouds here and there, and the weather was in the mid eighties. A soft warm breeze caressed Todd Thomas Lord’s face. That was his name now, he had it legally changed. He was jogging along the beach with nothing on but a pair of swimming trunks. He was tan, muscled and fit.
He had taken up running a few months ago, and was hooked. It cleared his head and cleansed his soul. His therapist had recommend it highly, being an avid runner himself. Todd had been seeing Dr. Steven Michaels for about five months. It was the best thing he’d ever done for himself.
He was maybe six years older than Todd, and came with excellent references. He was easygoing and patient. He had an open, honest face and inspired trust. The first month was the hardest. Todd often said little, and sometimes he talked and raged until he was exhausted.
Each time got easier. Each time Todd felt like he was a stronger person. He had no intention of ever going back to the kind of life he had before. It seemed like another lifetime ago. He was finally able to let the demons of his past go. He could trust and he could love.
He smiled. Vickie and Jessica were due tomorrow. He couldn’t wait to see them. After the whole mess with Peter Manning went down. Todd had called the police himself and with the testimony of Clarice and even Starr, the D.A. had pressed no charges. It was a clear case of self-defense.
The kidnapping charges were also dropped. Blair had flown into San Francisco, faint with relief. Todd had picked her up. They drove around had talked for hours. He explained the whole awful story, everything. He left nothing out and was completely honest with her
.Blair was flabbergasted to say the least. The man before her was a drastically changed person. And she was happy for him. He deserved some happiness in his life. Peter Manning was a monster who, deserved to rot in hell for his sins.
They had come to a fair agreement concerning their daughter. Starr would spend the summers with her father. They’d share her for holidays. And Todd has full access to Starr. He could see her whenever he wanted. They parted as friends. Blair had even let Starr stay in Sausalito for three weeks after that. She and Todd needed one another.
With Clarice’s encouragement, Todd had phoned his sister. When Vickie heard is voice, she cried for a full five minutes before she could speak. Todd could barely hold back his tears and they talked, really talked for the first time in their lives. They had been inseparable ever since, they spoke on the phone several time a week and Vickie often came and visited. Todd wasn’t ready to go see her in Llaneview and that was fine with Vickie. He had nothing but bad memories there and she wasn’t going to push.
Sam had also figured into Todd’s life once again. He showed up on Todd’s doorstep one week after the death of Peter Manning. He’d heard everything from Vickie. When Todd opened the door and saw Sam, he simply stepped into his arms and laid his head on Sam’s strong shoulder. They stood hugging quietly for the longest time. “Hey, Boomer,” Sam said through his tears.
Todd laughed a little. “Don’t call me boomer!” He choked.
“How about if I call you son? That’s what I’ve always felt you were to me anyway, Todd. I wished I was you’re Father. And from this point on, I’m going to start acting like one.” Todd sucked in a sharp breath and gripped him tighter.
Sam pulled back and looked at him seriously. “I’m so sorry I didn’t save you from that bastard.” He hung his head as helpless tears rolled down his cheeks.
“Don’t Sam.” Todd put a hand on his shoulder. “You had no idea. It’s in the past and that’s where it’s gonna stay. I’ve wasted too much time drowning in it. I want to breath again.”
He stayed for a week and their relationship was cemented. They spoke regularly as well.
He stopped running and scooped up a hand full of seawater, splashing his face with it. He looked up and grinned. Clarice and Starr were approaching him. Starr took off and came charging at Todd with a wide smile on her face. Her long golden hair was flying behind her like a banner. She was beautiful. The image of Todd.
Clarice came at a much slower, sexier pace. She was in a brief bikini with a sarong tied at her hip. He loved his wife with a passion that was frightening. They had been married for three blissful months. They married in a small chapel in Sausalito, with five hundred candles and white roses all around them. Vickie, Sam, Starr, and Jessica were in attendance. It was the most romantic wedding they’d ever seen.
Every time he made love to her, he felt reborn. He felt a peace and fulfillment he’d never in his life felt before.
Until now.
Until her.
He was completely himself with her, able to show all his sides, without fear or reservation. He was light, so light and happy. He could be silly as well. And loved to tease. It was a new and wonderful side of himself that he was getting to know. He laughed and swung Starr up into his arms. “Hey shortly, was shakin’ huh?” Starr squealed with delight. “Oh, daddy! You are sooo silly!” She wiggled out of his arms and began skipping to the water’s edge.
Clarice sidled up to her husband and gave his butt a light pinch. “You are too darn good looking to be traipsing around without a shirt on, Mister Lord.” She eyed him up and down, loving what she saw.
Her husband was devastatingly handsome. He grew his hair out and it hung almost to the middle of his back. He was as brown as a walnut and fit, happy and contented. She loved him beyond reason.
He wiggled his eyebrows up and down. “Yeah… I know,” he said in a smarty-pants tone.
A girl in a thong bikini strolled by. “Hey baby,” he quipped, knowing full well that he was a dead man.
Clarice giggled and kicked his feet out from under him. They landed with a thud on the soft sand. Clarice loomed over Todd. “You’re a dead man,” she growled. She kissed him and nipped his earlobe softly.
Todd laughed. “God, give me death.” He laced his fingers through her hair and turned serious. “I love you, honey. There will never be another woman for me Clarice. You are my heart and my soul.” He reached up and brushed her lips with his own. Clarice trembled and kissed him back.
“Daddy! Clarice! Come on…let’s swim!” Starr yelled excitedly.
They grinned at each other, tonight….
They both rose to their feet and holding hands, they joined their daughter to play in the sea.
THE END
