A Friendship no one else could touch
10/18/00
How does it feel to lose your soul mate? I think I now know. I found out today that Alice, my best friend of 7 years, whom I haven't heard from in 2 years, is not dead as I had suspected and maybe even hoped, but fine and studying in Spain! Why did I hope she had died? Well for some selfish reason I would've liked to think she cared about me until her dying moment. But now I must face the truth and wonder what I did wrong, because I can't hate her. Oh no, throughout every time she hurt me, I couldn't lay the blame on her. For a while she wasn't even a good friend to me, but I didn't care. I needed her in my life because we planed our lives to include one another. Because the things we shared and dreamed up were/are too insane for anyone to understand. So now I'm alone, and I'm hesitant to let anyone get close to me because if feeling this guilty and hopeless and alone is the price you have to pay for close friendships then I think maybe I can't handle it.
go away
