All I knew had vanished.
Every ounce of the person I was
Separated from me.
All my possessions were left behind.
Darkness dominated me.
The warmth of my family and friends
Had turned cold.
The air was full of death
And unfulfilled dreams.
I saw now what lay before me.
Beauty filled my eyes.
Beauty I never saw in life
Had appeared to me in death.
I did not want to leave this place.
For some reason, I knew it was
To be the last beauty to
Reach my eyes.
But at the same time,
I was being pulled away.
Something was attracting
Me towards it.
At the same time, I felt unwelcome
In the beauty.
And so I left the greatest beauty.
I traveled out of the grove,
Half-unaware of what I was doing.
As I left, a great emptiness filled me.
I knew that I was forever destined for darkness.
I moved as if commanded.
I wanted more that anything to turn back,
But as the thought entered my mind,
It was as if every force in the universe repelled me.
I didn't want to move, but I found
Myself walking through the darkness anyway.
I knew that I had come to a place of
Great sadness. It was a place
Of relentless suffering.
I could feel the unfulfillment in
The air. I knew that I was surrounded
By the souls that never rested.
I could see around me, but
Could feel my surroundings better. I could feel
The sadness of the souls, and
I could feel the darkness before me.
I could feel the resentment
Of the souls. I could feel their
Jealousy of me, and I knew
They wanted me dead.
But I already was dead, and they
Could do nothing. I advanced
Into the darkness, wanting to
Go back.
I knew that I could never go back, though,
And I kept advancing into the darkness.
It was a very painful darkness
That burned my soul, yet did not consume it.
And in the darkness was
A well of truth. I felt the
Sincerity and Binding of the
Universe under my feet.
I crossed the darkness and
Came to a very beautiful river.
The river called to my soul,
Offering to ease the pain.
I knelt at the river and felt the
Peace within. My soul impelled
Me to consume the water,
And I did.
Instantly did I know my mistake.
Memories of love, life, and friendship
Escaped my mind. All that I
Had known was gone.
Who was I? How had I come
To be here? I was ageless and
Never changing. Forever had I been in this dark corridor, and forever
Would I remain here.
For eternity did I wander.
The five waters burnt me,
Yet hadn't the decency to consume.
Beauty was no longer a part of my
Existence. Ugliness didn't exist. All
Was neutral. All was gray.
Never was I saved from my lonely fate.
Never again did I remember the Garden.
Forever did I walk with the Shades.
A Shade was I.
Thanatos Gerroux
