By: Thanatos Gerroux
Three Minutes. One hundred-eighty seconds. There are twenty of them in an hour, you know (but you already knew that, didn’t you?). Maybe you can already begin to speculate what this is about. If you don’t already know this, three minutes is all the time you get between classes. I don’t know about you, but it seems that three minutes is a rather trivial time-span. Most schools today have four minutes, some even have five minutes, between classes. Three minutes is half as long as it takes to boot up the school computers Most teachers would argue that three minutes is plenty of time. Teacher X (Who is an actual teacher) argues that three minutes is enough time to get from any point in the building*1, to your locker, from your locker, and to any other point in the building. Three minutes, folks. That was barely enough time for some people to operate in the Junior High, and those classes are not more than twenty-five yards apart from the science room to the math room (but we’re High School now). It seems to me that teachers in the High School are asking a great amount from us in this case. And to top it all off, Teacher X’s classroom is practically on the other side of the world (This is actually true). You almost have to walk through the hall of tortured souls*2(this name is actually practical if you think about the forced audience in classrooms, but that is also another story), to get there. He won’t even let you walk in a second late!
As if this wasn’t bad enough, some teachers even argue further than Teacher X did. Some of them argue that three minutes is enough time to get from any point in the building, to your locker, and even get a drink of water and use the restrooms to boot. It seems to me that in grade school, the teachers took about ten minutes to run all the children to the restroom. Do the teachers expect that since we’re in High School we suddenly become bionic men and women? No way!*3
And it even goes further, my friends. Some teachers argue that three minutes is enough time to get from any point in the building (I’m sorry, but redundancy is necessary in this case), to your locker, take care of the restroom and water fountain, and socialize with your friends as well. I thought teachers were supposed to be down to Earth. These teachers seem to believe that students have the ability to stop time itself!
Despite all these complaints, I still see at least one solution. I’m sorry, did I say that? I meant, One solution, if the cursed "People in Charge" would be slightly lenient, mind their own business, and let the students mind theirs. I seem to be hearing a lot of complaining from the sophomores, juniors, and maybe even seniors. They keep complaining about how their locker is on the upper floor, and all their classes are on the lower floors. This seems just like the opposite of what the freshmen are having trouble with. Most of their classes are on the upper floor, and their lockers are on the lower floor. Boy, this sounds like the people who select lockers are really spinning their wheels at the beginning of the year. It sounds like they are just drawing lockers from a hat (this is actually being lenient, because of the fact that it sounds more like the selectors are purposely trying to cause problems*4). This doesn’t sound like much of a problem, just change the lockers, right? (I’ll bet you know where this is going) This would be fine, if you don’t mind Mr. Krumweide and Mr. Hawkins chewing you out. If you are keeping up with current events in the school, they don’t let you switch lockers. This sounds somewhat practical, but only because of the threat of them finding contraband in your locker. But even I can see an easier solution to that. Simply have an official locker switching. Have both switchers come in to the office and say, "I think it would be better for me if I switch lockers with so and so". I don’t know exactly what the answer to this question would be, but I can take a pretty accurate guess.
*It’s not clear what the teachers mean by "the building". But whether they mean the High School building, High School and Junior high, or the entire school building, it’s still impractical.
*2 - The Hall of Tortured Souls is used in reference to Hell (If you believe in that sort of stuff).
*3 - Think about this. Demanding the difference in restroom breaks is like saying "Hey, you’re in High School now. Back in Junior High or Elementary, you could live with an over ten minute mile. Right now, you only pass with an under three minute mile. You only get an A for an under thirty second mile."
*4 - This is a message to the people who are "in charge" of the school. If you feel insulted or degraded by this article, simply send a comment to me and I might write a retraction.
