CHAD'S HOME.....

My friends name was Chad. He and I met in middle school in Clinton Iowa. It was our 8 grade year,so I was young. He and I hit it off right away. We became good friends right away,which at the time was a shock.

I was the new girl and he had been there forever. He knew everybody and I didn't. He was the kind of kid who took school seriously at times when needed or played when he wanted. I use to flip him so much crap,and he would flip it right back..

We graduated from the 8th grade and never saw each other again until....

I was 18 and out having fun when all of the sudden I hear someone yelling my name. I knew the voice, but couldn't see who it was. When I finally saw who it was, I about dropped over. It was Chad! I had not seen him in so long I was shocked. He came up and hugged me and I screamed and freaked big time. I was so happy. We talked all night and finally had to leave. Guess what? I never saw him again. Until three years ago....

I was working at a gas station with some great people. We were all close in age and became good friends fast. I was on duty one day when I saw this scruffy guy come in. He looked familiar, but I wasn't sure why. Then he said hi and I knew. It was Chad again.

Only this time it was someone I did not know. He looked rough,tattoes and long hair,beard,not the Chad I knew. My friend was working also and she knew him to. I hugged him and we talked a little bit. Seems he had been in some trouble and was having a hard time. We said to come back later and he left to go to the bar.

In the next few days he came by and called us. We talked about alot of old stuff,but not about his life now. He had changed. One day he called and asked for a job. My boss,his friend,could not give him one because of his record. He was upset and we knew it. But what could we do? My boss was upset but she knew it was for the best. Or so we thought.....

It was a month or so later and I had gone into work to see what was going on,when a friend came in. She asked if I had heard the news yet. Of corse I had not. She told me that Chad was dead. I didn't know what to say or think. I guess I didn't believe her at first till I looked in her eyes. Then I knew,Chad was gone forever.

To shorten this story up.....I got in touch with my boss,who at the time was a wreck. She told me he had killed himself and was gone. I couldn't believe it. My Chad,the one who thought life was great in school? Why I asked? She said there was a note from him they found. It said "Im sorry to hurt you all but I cant go on. I couldn't get a job and no one seems to understand life is hard"....

I'm sure you can imagine what we thought. We turned him away,did we help cause the pain? We couldn't deal with that. Needless to say it was a horrible time.
We went to the funeral,and I hade to face his mother for the first time since school. Can you imagine that? I walked up to her and said,"I dont know if you remember me but, I went to school with Chad?" She looked at me and said,"I know who you are." I lost all control then. This woman just lost her son,and she was worried about me. She said,"This is a terrible way to see you again,but I'm glad you are here." She hugged me and gave me a kiss. I'll never forget that night....

The funeral was hard,and we made it worse. We would listen to them talk and start laughing. We knew Chad was watching and was laughing with us to. I still think people thought we were crazy,but oh well.

Till this day I think about Chad,and wonder what I could have done to help. Was there anything or did he just need to figure it out on his own? I think he chose the wrong way to do it. I can also say how mad I am at him,but I still miss him.

Chad you know we miss you and love you. I hope you are happy now,and can be in peace forever.....