WELCOME TO A GLORIOUS EDITION of “HARDCORE Tales From the Strictline.” Today my focus is on radio stations, and anyone else who I decide sucks and deserves to get bashed. Just so you guys know, Q101 and the Loop 97.9 both sent me back letters. I guess they like my work, but have no room for me right now “because their on air staff positions are full.” WHAT A CROCK OF FUCKING SHIT!!! I feel as though they are making fun of me. Anyone who has heard the tape “I am an Asshole”, loves it and finds me very funny. I am sure they found me funny too, but who knows what their real opinions of SFR are. I say who cares? The message was delivered, they heard it, and life is sort of good.
I feel as though my life is not going anywhere. I feel as though I have three people to look at that somewhat give me hope for the future. Calista Flockhart, Mancow Muller, and Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Why? The all reached the peak of the career at their thirties. I just turned fucking 23 damn it. There is still hope for the STONED FUCKING RANGER. I am working a dead end job anywhere from 45-50 hours a week where people gossip about each other, make false promises, and all this other fucking bullshit. The management there, on the other hand, is good to me. I try to be good to them by showing up and working my ass off. I feel they appreciate it sometimes, but overall think I am a freak and pray that I quit. Just kidding. I also am busting my ass going to school. Trying to fulfill 12-15 credit hours a semester. This past semester was the semester from hell. I took Piano, Acting II, English 102, and fucking Astronomy. It was a hell of a fucking time, and I am convinced I still haven’t learned anything from my Astronomy teacher.
I thought that Astronomy would be a self-fulfilling class for my self. That I would learn some cool shit. But nevertheless, my brain is completely drained trying to figure out chemical properties of stars, spectrums of sunlight, phases of the moon, all that other crazy shit. Anyone who tells you that Astronomy is easy most likely has a drug problem (probably acid is their drug of choice) and you shouldn’t listen to them.
While we are on the subject of Harper “fucking” College, I miss doing my radio show on WHCM. Although, Dave may be a cool guy sometime soon, and I am sure that fucking cunt of a wannabe station manager Karen is there, I would love nothing more but to get back on the air. Maybe that fucking thing is the something I am missing from my life and why I wake up and have that special debate when I get out of bed, “Do I get up and face another fucking day, or do I stay here and play with my nut sack until I get my balls and hands sweaty and wet from…well let’s not go there, but I am sure you get the point. Anyway, I feel the best thing to do is to make amends with Dave, try to get my probation at Harper lifted by Bonnie Henry, and hopefully go back on. It is very doubtful that any of this will happen, but you never know until you try. After all, I did write Dluger an apology letter for my actions on the radio, and what I said about him and Jeanne Pakinim on my website. I really do feel bad about what I said about Jeanne. I’m sure she’s a nice person, and all, but she was there, so I let loose. I would of insulted Dr. Breuder (President of Harper) if I thought of it probably knowing me.
People took me way too seriously at Harper, and still do. I wish people would take me serious on the aspects I need help with, like my fucking education dingbats, and not take me seriously when I am fucking around. I think I spend a good portion of fucking around so, maybe it is hard to distinguish the two.
Well, those are my words of wisdom this time. Have a great summer, hope to see you at Chronicfest, and don’t get too fucked up or any of that other shit.
Take it easy and definitely sleazy,
The Stoned Ranger