Oh and to anyone who thinks that I am paranoid or wrong and is deciding not to be my friend anymore, one, your loss, two whatever, three, when your intelligence is back to normal, give me a call.
Now onto more important things. I am now going to Elgin Community College, not because I flunked out (I had a GPA of 2.5 thank you) but because I felt like throwing up everyday I was there. The money part, a real friend at the school/station was ready to lend me the rest of the money I needed to stay at Harper. But looking back at the stupid second level of high school, I decided it was not in the Ranger's best interests to continue on there. So I would like to take this time to thank everyone who has supported me in WHCM, The Paper, The Harbinger, and Todd Balyntyne who has been inspirational to me. If you want to go to that suck ass school, see him for speech and/or acting classes because he is the shit. Goodbye Harper, hello ECC.
My first semester here at Elgin Community College and I must say, gee what the fuck is my reasoning for coming here? Did I suffer a fucking brain aneurysm here? I leave the shithole in Palatine in hopes of finding a place that goals are less “corporate” meaning wanting businesses from the outside to take over the school. I come here to find out that school may be in session for only a week, because once again, corporate has to drop the ball again.
When I was walking through the halls of the SRC (no more SAC, it is Student Resource Center now, shit), I saw signs all over that read “ECC faculty working without a contract since Dec 31, 2000.” Not knowing what all this was about, I quickly found out that the teachers are not happy with their current situations because once again “corporate” channels wanted to change things. Why is it that those jagoffs have this desire to change things? For the good of mankind or in this case the students. No siree bob. The suits are not making any money or benefiting from the current status of the school. So in order to get paid, the suits will have fuck the students, the people who pay their fucking salaries, up the ass with a chainsaw. RIGHT UP THE ASS MOTHER FUCKER. I am so sick of this corporate bullshit as well as many students who go here. Our education is on the line because administration wants to fuck around. Well thanks a lot you god damm dopeheads. Furthermore, they are asking teachers to take a pay cut. In my opinion, without teachers, there would be no learning or any type of educational experience here, even though some can be the most annoying people at times. What are these people (administration) who probably hold each other’s dicks in the golf course going to do? Most likely put them in their mouths. No in reality, what the fuck is up chuck? Are they going to start hiring students to be administrative assistants and throw a textbook their way. “Here you go son, read this now or you will be fired. After you get done typing these reports and memos, we will give you a quiz on Friday.”
This whole strike business is complete utter BULLSHIT. You would think that administration would stop fucking each other in the ass and get with the program here. They are ignoring concerns of the teachers, let me reiterate, the ones who make the education process happen, because they don’t want to ruin their budget. Well, let’s see. We know that tuition went up recently and state funding has increased. What’s the problem here? Do you need to save extra money to build a fucking statue of Michael Shirley (college president) in the front? I think if they do, they should give him a beer in one hand with a joint in his mouth with his thumb up and a huge ass chest cheetah grin on his face. That would be the shit. Speaking about Shirley, college president, is there some reason he cannot be present for one of these negotiations? I do believe that the college running smoothly would be a bigger priority than attending a luncheon about how Ameritrade just sold 5 shares of "go suck a horse's dick" stock. OK so maybe Shirley is president, so he does not have to be there because he’s the man. He is just too important to be there. So why doesn’t the chair of the board John Duffy attend the negotiations? Because he is too busy hitting the pipe in the bathroom. (I do not think he does. I am just pissed my classes are going to be held up. Do not take that literal.) Excuse Mr. Duffy sir, do you care about the future of ECC, or do you have better things to do like plan a fundraiser involving midgets giving head to gorillas? What’s the deal here? Maybe we should let Erik Schultz handle negotiations for the board. Sure we may not know him and he probably doesn't party, but at least we know someone will be working for the interest of the students? Go Erik Go. Rock the fuck on.
These teachers all have families and have to pay the bills like anyone else. I believe asking the faculty to take a pay cut so the admin is making more money than the teachers because their egos are going to be bruised if god forbid a teacher makes more money than a suit is completely unacceptable. Education is not all about dollars and cents, well maybe sense, which the fuckheads on the board obviously does not have. Common sense tells us that this whole situation sucks. So come Tuesday February 6, 2001, we the students of ECC have to call to see whether class is in session or not. Unfuckingbelievable. Can the board please reimburse the number of phone calls we make to find this out? We are college students so we can’t afford to make phone calls to the school because we are stuck paying tuition and buying dope. This isn’t Harper’s district where mommy and daddy pay your tuition. Where if you suck enough ass, and backstab enough people you get on top.
And now let me take this opportunity to address the board. Hey board of trustees, WAKE UP ASSMUNCHES. This is not about you. It is about us the students. We are the ones paying all your salaries, so why don’t take two seconds out of the waste of exsistence you call a life and think about that? I can’t say I blame the teachers. I do believe what they are doing is quite radical, but sometimes to get someone’s attention, you have to slap them in the face. I hope your face is bright red monkeyfucks. There is absolutely no excuse for nine months of negotiations to end like this. Nine months? what the fuck is the board doing, jumping jacks? Come on you fucks get it right. After all, I hope the board is proud that they felt changes needed to be implemented. Change is good? Yeah right. Change is what killed the dinosaurs. Change is what killed the eight track. Change is horrible, unless is it comes down to underwear. You know why change is horrible? Change has brought me from a school with spoiled rich bitches and hot shot jocks, a corporate mission, and a president who dressed like John Gotti who has classes still in session. Yet I “changed” to a school with the most immature, manipulative, egotistical board of trustees who is afraid teachers will make more then them, and doesn’t care if students get hurt by their paranoia. Gee you are all so fucking cool. I do believe that Elgin Community College should be the college of the year. And look it is only February, what other fuck ups do they have in store?
Well I would like to say I am sorry that anyone who reads this is attending ECC? YOu and I are on the same boat pal. I hope to see you at Sucks to Be You on February 10th, and please try to be nice to each other. If you don't like a person, don't pretend to be their friend. Be honest about your feelings about people, because what you really think of them will always come out. See you next month and be good to your sweetie.
Hi ho steamroller,
THE STONED RANGER