Now what I want to discuss today is another college issue. If you don't go to college I am sorry to waste your fucking time, but you will probably appreciate this anyway, so grab the nearest pipe you can find and get comfortable.
Why the fuck is there an Algebra class in college? Especially when yopu are a broadcasting major just trying to get an Associate of the Arts degree from some simpleton little junior college like Harper. When do we use this? Why would we want to use this? I have no clue. Someone please tell me.
If you go back a few months to Febraury, I spoke about how the education system was trying to stick it to us through the textbook prices. Well now I am convinced that this ALgebra shit is where it is at. I just took my MTH 060 final, and it took me 1 1/2 fucking hours to finish it. What a waste of fucking life. I could of been learning something about computers of theatre, but no. I have to learn the slope of (2,3) and (4,-2). The worst part about this bullshit is that Harper gives a placement test when you first register. Depending on how you score, it places you in a class. I was placed in Math 060 (Elementary Algebra). I now have to take not one, but TWO MORE FUCKING ALGEBRA CLASSES. What is the point of having Algebra in our life? It is driving me fucking nuts. And on top of it, I have to take two more classes. I really feel bad for those people who are like me that want a simple degree from Harper College, and are less forturnate to be less intelligent that I am. (Believe the list is very short, I think that school teacher I was talking about earlier fits there, and maybe a couple of cousins fucking in a trailer in Alabama somewhere)The tuition bills you at college hours for these classes yet they are not college credit. How fucking stupid is that? (The arts requirement asks for ONE math class by the way, and the lowest level is MTH 101 which is Algebra.)
First I will argue this from Harper's point of view. They want to have these remedial classes so people who are not ready for any Algebra classes will be ready. I just spent 8 weeks in the ELEMENTARY Algebra class, and I don't think I am ready for the next level. OK, that sounds fair. So why don't you discount tuition for these classes you dipshits? No let's call these "college classes" even though they are not going to be "college credits." We enjoy sex so much so we want to fuck the whole district of Harper in the mother fucking ass. People get agrivated because now they are paying more money than they have to. This is another attempt of this school to make money of the naive public that goes to their school. Now here's a good suggestion. Why don't you make Math classes that will make a difference in someone's life. Here are a couple suggestions.
CARRER MATH=This will help people budget their money, figure out their taxes, and for your ladies (he, he) find out exactly how much money you are saving when you go to that 30% off sale at Marshalls. Cool, right?
ACCOUNTING (ACC 101) This could fulfill the MAth requirement for all the reasons stated above.
GEOMETERY=Although this is another senseless form of Mathematics, it will be useful. When some guy gets married, has kids, and gets fat, chances are he will probably
want to do some work around the house. This way, he will learn perimeter, area, volume and these things will be useful when he wants to build that extra room and sit in it and watch TV and have his hand in his pants like Al Bundy because
his wife wants to have endless sex, and his kids want money. (Personally I never got that about Married With Children. Why didn't Al ever want to sleep with Peggy? Why didn't he ever sleep with Kelly? That would of been good story line people at FOX.)
PRE-ALG=OK. Like I said it is a stupid course, but if you really want to make it a requirement, instead of pushing all the bullshit fucking Algebra there is, why don't you just push the basics on us. It is like this. Would you rather smell shit or eat shit? Get my point.
I really hope Dr. Robert Breuder reads this and it helps him see what us students really yearn for. After all he should fire his Human Resources rep, because he/she hires drug addicts. Those are the only people who I believe would even consider teaching a class like that and know it so well. Most likely acid is their drug of choice. (With exception of Julie Jordan for two reasons. One, it didn't seem as difficlut as it usually is with her, and two, she has not graded my final yet.) Thank you for reading once again, and I will see you next month. Hopefully sooner at THE NUTCASE SHOWCASE where we will be casterating the man who invented Algebra. YOU PIECE OF SHIT MOTHER FUCKER!!!
Take it easy (and very sleazy),
The Stoned FUCKING Ranger
P.S. Anyone who has taken MTH080, send me your notes and tests so I can breeze right through the class thank you!!!