The snacks and the sodas were resting with care
In reach of the viewers in the easy arm chair.
The Philes were waiting with excitement, some dread,
While visions of aliens danced through their heads.
And Mulder examining some gray E.B.E.
Had just settled into the Philes' T.V.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my futon to see what was the matter.
Away to the porch I flew like a fiend
Not wanting to miss a phenomenal scene.
A strange, greenish light surrounding the place
Gave a luster of Roswell to immediate space.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But an alien saying "The truth is in here"
Pointing to the small ship that was causing the glow;
I knew in a moment I just had to know.
As nocturnal insects swarming at night
Give the sudden appearance of a strange, colored light,
So into the spacehip I floated, quite maimed
And the alien whispered with knowledge some names
Of Gregors, and Krycek, Well-Manicured Man,
MIBs, Clones, and of cource Cancer Man.
"They cover up facts and destroy Mulder's files
And deny everything with their lies and their smiles."
Then in a moment I heard in my head
The voices of Deep Throat and X as they said
To "Trust No One" who might wish to hear of my flight
And suddenly the truth was revealed to my sight:
Cancer man, dressed from his head to his foot
With a suit that was stained with the smell of his soot.
An exposed roll of film he held cradled in hand
The negatives of proof of U.F.O.s in the land
His eyes, how they gleamed, how he laughed and he gloated
His glee was so great at the truth he'd distorted.
His venomous mouth was drawn up in a leer
That was so repulsive it looked like a sneer.
A Morleys cig'rette he eagerly puffed
And the smoke, it enveloped the room with each huff.
He had a dark face, and his cancerous lungs
Shook when he laughed, they shook and they hummed.
A wink in his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his crime,
And pulled out the film, it'd be blank in no time.
The rest of the truth was made clear as the sun
And I was returned to my X-File futon.
I sprang to my feet, to my friends gave a shout
But they didn't know I'd even been out.
No time had passed, and my friends all said "Shush!
X-Files are on, now sit down and hush."
Mully's Mambo #5 spoof "XF Room Numba 2"
Czar's Green Eggs and Ham spoof "Green Regs and Spam"
Phox's Beat It spoof "Screw It"
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