“Is Amanda going to come and play with us?”
“Not right now Shanaea, right now she’s making an octopus for Ms. Sherri next door.”
“Well, she’s going to come and play with us right? She’s going to come to play with us when we go outside, right?”
“You know, Eddie, I’m not sure. And even if she does, she won’t be able to be the Boys Team captain because she doesn’t have the right shoes on today.”
At that disappointing news, Eddie turned back to his desk, exceptionally troubled that the boys would no longer have a captain to help them catch all the girls in freeze tag. He worries when things do not go according to plan.
Shanaea tapped my shoulder, trying to get my attention. I turned to face her group’s table more squarely.
“Kayla, she said, she said all of her daddies don’t love her.”
“What?”
“She said that, that none of her daddies love her.”
Those child’s eyes spoke not surprise nor emotion of any other kind, except the desire to communicate a truth, to inform.
“Yep, none of my daddies love me, none of them.”
Kayla was blunt and frank, her unimpassioned tone and manner like that of a person stating that the weather is mildly bad.
“What makes you think they don’t love you?” I asked Kayla.
“Well, my first dad, he left my mom because of me.”
“Because of something you did?”
“No, because my mom was pregnant with me.”
“Does he ever come to visit you?”
“Nope, I’ve never seen him.”
Shanaea interjects, “See?”
“Yeah, I see.”
“I’m hungry. When’s snack time?”
“I don’t know Shanaea. I can’t believe you’re hungry already. What did you eat for breakfast?”
“I didn’t eat breakfast.”
“You skipped breakfast? No wonder! I couldn’t do that, breakfast is usually my biggest meal.”
“I can’t eat breakfast, my dad, my dad has to drive me here, it’s a long way, it’s like an hour.” She pitched her head forward and rolled her eyes for emphasis. Then her small hands slid forward on her desk, squeaking slightly, until her head was resting on her arm, at which point she turned her head toward me, still on her arm, and curled her arm at the elbow, over her head. She tucked her chin length, straight, mouse brown hair behind her ear.
“An hour? Where do you live? Wichita Falls? Venus?” I said, with a hint of incredulity.
“Well, maybe not an hour, maybe, like, a half an hour or, or, I don’t know, but it’s a long way. I live in, in Cedar Hill.”
“Cedar Hill huh? Well, you probably would have to get up pretty early to eat lunch, er, breakfast, and get here by eight.”
“Yeah, my, my dad, he has to take my sister and me really early to get us here on time.”
“Your sister, she’s in the other, Ms. Sherri’s, class right?”
“Yeah.”
“I was supposed to have 2 brothers and 2 sisters in my family,” Kayla interjected.
“You were supposed to?”
“Yeah, but one brother, he died when he was a baby.”
“Huh.”
“And my twin sister, she got shot.”
“Twin sister?” Shanaea asked.
“Yeah, she got shot.”
“How did she get shot? Why?” I queried.
“Well, this guy, he was trying to shoot someone else, and he was driving, and he accidentally hit my sister.”
“Driveby. Huh.” I said, somewhat stupefied.
Shanaea inserted innocently, “Well, he was trying to shoot someone else right? So it’s not his fault.”
I responded, “It’s still his fault, he shouldn’t’ve been shooting the gun to begin with. He knew it was likely to hit somebody, and he wasn’t being very careful where he was aiming, and what if he hit the right guy? It’d still be his fault.”
“That’s true.”
Shanaea shifted her elbows onto the desk and put her head on her hands contemplatively.
“In fact,” I continued, “I don’t think that guy should even be anywhere near a gun. After all, without a gun he couldn’t’ve shot your sister, Kayla. Did you guys know that it is legal to carry a gun hidden in your purse or backpack or something? All you have to do is get a license. I don’t think it’s a good law, cause all guns are good for’s killing things.”
Kayla looked down at her desk and Shanaea sat suddenly quite straight, eyes wide. Both nodded their heads affirmatively.
Shanaea exclaims dramatically, “I’m never going to carry a gun! Uhh uhh!”
I feel my mouth twisting into a huge smile.
“Hurry up!” The teacher’s voice cuts across the din. “You should be finishing up coloring the sea creatures for your sand mural, if you haven’t already. If you have, you may go ahead and start your snack.”
Shanaea and Kayla breath small exclamations of delight and begin rummaging through their desks and picking up small sacks from the floor by their feet, while Eddie at the table behind me quickly resumes cutting out the small pictures he had been neglecting for the past half hour. Somewhere on the other side of the room, someone begins to sing Britney Spears’ latest song.
“I’m not, so, inn-o-cent.”
