Perception

I don't care what anyone says, I still think they're about the most unlikely couple I've ever seen. I've been watching them quite a lot recently, I'm pleased for them, but there's still a fair degree of disbelief over what I'm seeing here. Its not as though when I put together the Senior staff I thought 'oh - they'll pair off' or even 'well Mandy and Josh will have a brief but intense relationship and wind up hating each other.' That didn't even enter into the equation. In fact I'm a little embarrassed to say that when we appointed CJ as Press Secretary I didn't even think what it might be like for her to be the only woman at that level.

It wasn't an issue, she was CJ and I knew she could handle it, damn it, I'd watched her handle it for months during the campaign - and we were appointing women to the most senior posts in Government. I never really thought that in terms of President Bartlet's senior staff, not his Secretary's of State, or senior policy advisors, but his own aides - that only one of them was a woman. I'm not sure how much it matters, CJ hardly mentions it. I get the impression that if it did matter I wouldn't be the person she told about it.

Across the room I can see that CJ is smiling down at the person I never imagined her falling for. I really think she wears heels on purpose just to make the rest of us look short. Not that Toby seems to mind. I can't see him too well from this angle, too many visiting dignitaries in the way; but I know he's smiling back, he's been doing that a lot recently and he's probably touching her - its incredibly subtle, I'm not even sure he realises he's doing it - but we've all had a lot of fun observing the new 'hands on' Toby.

They've changed in the last few months - but then we all have. Since the shooting I've noticed that we take things for granted far less - we've lost the sense that we inhabit a safe, secure Universe and we may never get it back. I think we've all taken a long, hard look at who we are and how we live. Suddenly people seem to be trying to have a life outside the West Wing, Sam's started sailing again, Josh has been going on dates, even I'm trying to fit something into my life other than the job. Its not that we don't still work long and difficult hours, that we aren't as dedicated as we were before. If anything we're more committed than ever. We simply seem to have realised that there is more to life than the West Wing. Having said that if Sam drops my daughter overboard there won't be any place safe for him to hide.

I'm not sure when things happened between Toby and CJ; or even what exactly did happen. All I know is that before the shooting she was flirting with Danny Concannon and giving me an ulcer in the process. I spend two days running between the White House and the hospital, by the time something close to normality sets in all anyone is talking about is that there is 'something' going on with CJ and Toby. Something, yeah right. Try everything.

Toby is almost cheerful these days, well, no, I don't believe that either. But he isn't shouting as much and Ginger told Margaret, who told me, that he's started saying 'please' and 'thank you' to them - sometimes. I can't say that I've noticed much of a difference, unless you want to assign significance to a couple of new suits and a less, crumpled look. He certainly hasn't lost his edge, or his ability to piss people off.

The staff are under strict instructions to circulate tonight and so CJ and Toby aren't going to get more than a few minutes together. I'm no exception to this and my few moments of reflection end when I'm dragged into a wide ranging discussion about the European Union - and bananas.

I lose sight of them and its only when I go to the bar to get a drink (orange juice of course) that I spot them again - and this time I smile because I realise they're just about to go through a routine that I've seen them do a couple of times before now.

CJ has obviously made a hit with some members of the Premier's entourage - she's holding court across the room from where Toby is standing. Judging from the body language a couple of the men are making quite serious attempts at engaging her interest - they're probably working up to inviting her to go to a club or a bar with them after this little get together is over. Toby hasn't missed a beat of this, even though he's ostensibly engaged in a different conversation. He watches CJ and once or twice when she looks up, he meets her gaze and the electricity crackles across the room.

Eventually he excuses himself and moves carefully to join the group around CJ. This is the bit I like, they never seem to do anything overt, but somehow the atmosphere in the group changes immediately. When Toby talks to CJ he looks her in the eye and she smiles back at him, she's completely forgotten about the others, is completely focused on him and the expression on the faces of the other men in the group is one of disbelief. You know that each of them is thinking,

'What does she see in him?' And to be honest I can't begin to explain it.

But the message is a clear one and disappointed the men slip away, CJ and Toby are too wrapped up in each other to really notice this; they're deep in discussion now, talking, but communicating with eyes and hands as well. She whispers something into his ear and his hand is on the small of her back as they walk towards the bar.

'You're watching them again,' a highly amused voice says behind me. I turn and look into Abigail Barltet's smiling face.

'Guilty as charged - they're being quite blatant tonight, I'm sure there's no one in the room who isn't aware what's going on between them.'

'Leo - don't be such a grouch. Do you see any reporters here? They're relaxed for once, give them a break.' She's right, they've been incredibly discrete and apart from a few references to a romance between "two of President Bartlet's senior aides" there hasn't been a whisper in the press so far - I don't know how they've got away with it for so long.

'I'm just curious, that's all. Everyone is - no one saw this coming and...' her expression stops me, 'oh come on. No way Abbey, you did not.'

'That's exactly what Jed said,'

'You spent most of last year introducing CJ to single Doctors, don't tell me you knew she was going to go completely mad and fall for Toby.'

'CJ needed some romance last year Leo - and she found it with Danny, who pursued her and flattered her, while Toby did whatever it is Toby does and generally gave the impression he had no clue she was a woman - you shouldn't need me to tell you that's not a winning strategy.'

'But you knew differently?'

'He was trying too hard and I caught him looking her way a couple of times. They're good together, don't you think?'

'That's what everyone keeps telling me.' She tilted her head and looked at me in that penetrating way she has that makes me instantly defensive. 'I'm just surprised that's all - its an unlikely combination. I'm still not completely convinced that they aren't going to kill each other.'

'Stormy relationships can be good things.' She points out and as she's a living example of this I'm in no position to dispute her claim. But I've always though that she and Jed were an exception - and they certainly never worked together the way Toby and CJ do. 'I know its not a fairytale Leo - it will be tough for them.'

'But you think they'll make it?'

'As a matter of fact I do.' That's a tone I know better than to argue with, unlike my best friend. 'Don't you?'

'I don't know Abbey. I know a bit more about failed relationships than you do,' I glance back across the room and watch CJ interrupt a stream of Toby's dialogue by kissing him, a technique I'm keen for her to try out in a meeting some day. 'They haven't chosen the easiest course, they both have demanding jobs, they work long hours; together, they're going to take work home with them at the end of the day. They've been known to fight, lets face it there have been times when they've really been pissed at each other.'

I listen to myself and decide that I don't like what I'm hearing. When did I become so negative, so without hope? I don't think I like this version of me.

'But what the hell do I know anyway? They certainly look happy right now - who knows what the future holds for them or for any of us.' Abbey smiles and pats my arm,

'Welcome back Leo McGarry, I was beginning to think we'd lost you to the miseries for good. Now,' she looks around her, 'who can remember where I left my husband?'

The End