Interview with Bill Zebub of The Grimoire

The Grimoire (pronounced Grim-War) of Exhalted Deeds might as well be one of the most famous or infamous underground metal magazines of our time, though "underground" couldn't be the right word for it, since he was able to get Type O Negative and Morbid Angel, not to mention countless others (lucky bitch, heh). Of course, with his "no holding back" attitude expressively displayed in his zine and his charisma, who couldn't love The Grimoire of Exhalted Deeds? To be honest, I was kinda scared of doing this interview, because I heard he likes to turn tables on interviewers, but this interview proved me wrong. I can't believe he didn't get pissed when we couldn't continue the interview due to my AOL being fucky, so we were able to finish it off through email (Talk about charisma.)

Thank you for taking the time to do this. I'm sure you could be out right now interviewing bigger underground names in Ye Olde English asking them to sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb."
Heh heh, no problem
and I must say, that interview with Cannibal Corpse was my favorite.
Really? I am going to see them in a few weeks - maybe I will get George to sing a different song.
If you can, try to get him to sing "hello my baby hello my darling hello my ragtime gal". That would be classic!
Perhaps... we shall see
My first question is, why do you interview like that, in Ye Olde English?
Believe it or not, when i first conceived the idea of doing a 'zine, it was not really for comedy. I wanted it to be very medieval. Everything about it was supposed to be of the old scribe feeling... but that changed when I discovered a publishing program. I didn't know anything about computers... so I didn't know how to get rid of the gay clip art that was used in the template. You see, all I did was replace the dummy text... the newsletter was already laid out in Microsoft Publisher. So all the reviews had to fit in those text boxes...the paragraph length was predetermined... the Olde English was the only thing that remained of my original vision.
Who was your most favorite interview?
I would have to say it was a recent interterview with Cronos. But I have enjoyed the extrememly comical personality of Mikka from Impaled nazarene.
Here's a dumb question for you. Have you gotten any shit from religious zealots about your illustrations on the print magazine?
No, but I tried and tried. One of my pieces had Jesus crucifying Santa, and Mary was helping to nail the fat bastard in. I sent that everywhere, hoping to get into trouble. Never happened. But then some store had a drawing of Santa being crucified, and that made it on the news! My version was a million times more evil!
The one with God getting it anal almost made me snarf out my orange juice. I have Mormon and Christian friends, but I know what's funny, to me anyway, since I'm easily amused.
Yes.. the caption to that was "Peter, you are the rock of my church". It was Peter ramming Jesus.
Has there ever been a moment when the bands you interviewed have no idea what the fuck your saying?
It happens quite a lot, and it's not a language barrier. Some people are just not accustomed to thinking in oddball paths... they have never made a creative association between unrelated topics. I think that is the trademark of my comedy... tying two concepts together that normally aren't related.
Isn't Peter Steele a stud?
I think that most women find him studly. He was also a very funny interviewee. He understood everything, and he provided some oddball humor as well.
What did you do before the zine?
I was on radio.. that is, if you are asking about what I did in metal before the fetid pages were tomed.
Do you still have a regular job outside the zine?
Yes, I am a network administrator and I make $70,000 a year.
Has any band member hunted out for your blood due to anything you may have sayd in your zine?
I have been confronted quite a lot... but no blood. A lot of people sough me out, making all sorts of threats, but I guess that when they finally met me they realized that I am not as much of an asshole as they originally thought. It's a matter being acquainted with more outrageous variety of people. People who are not exposed to personalities like mine usually interpret insulting jokes as acts of war. Hang out with a real wise-ass and your skin will get thick very fast... maybe I should put that in my disclaimer.
Has Pat O' Brien of Cannibal Corpse kicked your ass yet?
No, and he shall not while I live.
How do you feel when being compared to Yngwie?
You must be referring to a little vengeful deed on a web site. You see, I occasionally go into a chat room on AOL called "Unholy Metal." There was this obese goth pig who lurked in there, and she flirted with all the dudes, and out of courtesy I let the dudes go on believing that she was human. But she became gluttonous with males as well as with food. She scared away any girls who would go into the room, and when she dared to call a girl "fat" I had to put an end to her fat-pig behavioir. Her name is "Melody" by the way, probably her parents' cute way of interpreting the thunderous vibrations that her body causes. Anyway, I emailed every guy in the room her pic without saying who it was, and they asked, "Hey Bill, who is this fat bitch?" I told them the answer, and the she-beast was laughed out of there for a long time. She has since returned, and she has a support group of other hags. But I guess the cow is out of the bag. It's funny... one of her fat friedns tries to cleverly hide her double chin by putting her hand underneath it. i guess she doesn't realize how unnatural that pose is. But anyway, fatso thought that she would get revenge on me by comparing my picture with that of some guitar player. Better to war with your parents... they fused the chromosomes that formed such a horrid beast. Sadly, she does not bear the personality to make men overlook her defects.
Is there any music you listen to that no other metal fan would ever expect you to listen to?
I am a big fan of dark opera. I also like anything that has a comical or weird element, and you would really stand in amazement if you saw some of the titles that comprise my 7,000-cd collection.
Well, that's all I have. Any last words?
Visit my site:www.thegrimoire.com/booger. It's really just an archive of some interviews and pictures. But there might be a thing or two to grab your attention.