Untitled Buffy/Lord of the Rings Crossover

"Tea?"

Buffy smiled, removing an errant blond strand from between her lips before nodding. "This is familiar. "

For once in her life, she felt large, almost clumsy as she tried to flatten her knees, having to sit almost sideways at the waist to fit underneath the small table. She'd nearly clocked herself at the house's--hole's--whatever's entrance, heeding Frodo's warning to duck just a second too late. She grimaced, rubbing the tender spot just above her left eyebrow. Great, quantum leaping and concussions all in the same day. Lucky her. Or was that Doctor Who-ing and concussions all in the same day? The guy on the other show had leaped from place to place, hadn't he and she was still in her body and...

"Is it?"

"Yeah, Giles... He--Well, Giles is a friend, kind of like my dad only... Well, not," she fidgeted, turning her cup around in her hand. Giles was another one of those subjects she wasn't sure she could explain without getting into issues that might be better left unsaid, like being the Slayer for one. "It's really complicated and ... Am I making any sense at all?"

It was Frodo's turn to smile, a simple gesture of understanding as he finished pouring his own tea. "I think I have an idea. Sugar or cream?"

"Ooooh, I really shouldn't. It'll go straight to my hips and all," She thought for a moment. "Maybe just a little sugar? You wouldn't have any lemon, would you?"

"Lemon?" he asked, still polite but that cute little face going blank. She sighed.

"I'll take that as a 'no'. So what was with the welcoming committee back there? They were acting like they'd never seen a human before. Or did I just overwhelm them with my fashion sense?"

His eyes slid downward a fraction, widening as color crept to his neck and cheeks, color that became a deep scarlet when she waved a hand in his line of vision, his gaze flying back to her face then somewhere around her right ear.

"Problems?" she asked, glancing down at her ensemble, the simple black sweater tight in all the right places (and now unfortunately torn in a few more), jeans, and the old leather coat Angel had given her once upon a time. Seemed pretty normal to her, almost blah except for the coat but that was special and not for any reason outwardly apparent.

He shook his head so fast and hard, she was surprised teeth didn't rattle in response. "And that's why your eyes are doing the 'popping out of the head thing', right? Look, I'm the new girl in town, don't know all the rules yet. Humor me. Why the stares? And the flinching?"

"We don't get many visitors here."

She waited. There had to be more to it than that.

"Many *human* visitors," he added, almost apologetic. "Your kind doesn't generally pass through the Shire, save Gandalf."

"My kind? God, you make me sound like some kind of bug or something-- No, never mind," she waved him off. "So this Golf club is the only human in these parts?"

"*Gandalf,*" Frodo corrected. "Surely, you've heard of him?"

"Guess I missed that memo," Buffy muttered. "Pretend I'm a walking blond joke and just give me the 411."

His mouth opened and closed and she could almost see his eyes clouding over as he tried to figure out twenty-first century Californian. Taking pity on him, she clarified. "The name sounds familiar but the bells it should be ringing aren't chiming. Maybe it was that bump on the head?"

She almost felt bad when he straightened, accepting her explanation at face value. Almost. "Gandalf