7 Days to Better Self Esteem
Do you know which of your actions have a positive effect on your self-esteem? Do you know which ones have a negative effect? In order to accept yourself “as is,” there is a need to recognize which of your actions are causing you harm and which ones are beneficial.
Give yourself one week to explore the inner shadows that have been keeping you from success, and improve your ability to accept yourself as the perfect you. I suggest having a small notebook to jot down your responses for this activity, or record the results of each day in your journal.

Day One:
Take note of the thoughts that fly through your mind as you wake up and begin your day. What runs through your mind as you stand before the mirror and dress for the day? Do you even bother to get dressed? Make a note of the weather if that has an effect on your thoughts.
For example, “Drats! It’s raining outside and I hate rain. I know this is going to be an awful day.” Or, “I wish I hadn’t slept so long because the sun is out and now I feel I have wasted the day.”
Note: Just do this in the morning. Record your thoughts and then go about your day.

Day Two:
Today you will become aware of the “tapes” playing in your mind. Every time you have a negative thought in response to something you are trying to do, make a mark.
For example, if you are handed a report that needs to be retyped and hear yourself playing back thoughts such as, “See, I can’t do anything right the first time.” Make a mark.
Whenever you have one of these negative responses to some action or positive keep track of it. It may be something as simple as deciding you want a hamburger for lunch only to have the thought,
“You need that like you need a hole in the head!” Make a mark.

Day Three:
Total up your marks from yesterday.
Today you will want to keep track of the instances that seem to push the play buttons on your “tapes.” Instead of making marks each time you have a negative thought play through your mind write down when it happened.
For example: “The boss handed me a report to be retyped, and I had the thought that I couldn’t do anything right the first time.”
This is an activity that will be better done if you record the events as they happen, or as close to the occurrence as possible. If you wait until the end of the day you may leave something out.

Day Four:
Get out your notebook or journal and find a quiet place to read. Look at the last 3 days of information. Try to track the trends. Is there a certain instance that always hits your play button?
Do the negative thoughts play loudest in regards to your looks, your job, or your ability to be a good parent Make a note of the instances that trigger the negative tape playing, and write down your feelings and thoughts about them.
For example: “I noticed that whenever one of my children has to be corrected for doing something wrong my negative thoughts turn on me and remind me that I am a bad parent. They tell me that if I were a better parent my child wouldn’t be in trouble.
Sometimes I even hear that my kids would be better off with someone else for a parent. The thoughts make me feel unsure of myself and inadequate as a parent.”
Maybe your entry would be more like this, “Whenever it comes time to eat I immediately hear the tapes start to roll. I hear things like: you don’t need to eat that, you are so fat, no wonder people don’t like you, how can you even stand to eat that when you know you are so large.
It frustrates me because I am pretty and I know that if I could just stop this hateful thinking I would love myself.”

Day Five:
You have targeted the areas that are causing you the most trouble. Today when you hear the tapes start to play turn them off. Push the STOP button.
As soon as you recognize the negative thought happen scramble for the STOP button and replace that negative thought with something positive.
For example, if you are faced with the replay of the “You Are Fat” tape at the beginning of a meal, hit the stop button by consciously putting the brakes on that train of thought and replacing it with one of a positive nature. Such as, “Whooo Gurl!
You are looking fine today!” That may be a humorous response, but you would be surprised at the smile that will spread across your face. Make a note in your journal or notebook every time you successfully stop the tape player.

Day Six:
Today you are going to do exactly what you did yesterday, but instead of recording the exact instances make a mark, like you did on day 2.
Every time you experience negative thoughts and replace them with a positive ones make a mark in your notebook, or on a slip of paper. At the end of the day tally them and give yourself a high five. You are on your way to the freedom of loving yourself.

Day Seven:
Rush to read the latest BIG Talk column article as soon as the press release is out.
Give yourself a hug and treat yourself with love today. Even if it’s only for one hour spend some time loving the person you are.
Read a book you’ve been wanting to get around to reading, take a bubble bath, paint those toe nails, listen to your favorite CD the whole way through as you bird watch. Whatever makes you feel loved and appreciated; be good to yourself.

copyright 2001 Catherine C. Harris

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