Joan Marques - MBA, Doctoral Student
Burbank, California

Sometime, somewhere, I read the following mind-bending, thought-swirling, brain-sticking statement, "We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are." That's not just perception, you know? The real characteristic that triggers it all here is...attitude.

So, that's when I realized, too, that everything depends on our attitude. How many times haven't you heard or read something with the following contents, "We should see problems as opportunities"? And sure enough: If we would replace the word "problem" with "opportunity" every time we encounter one, it would be amazing how we could influence our approach toward any issue. If it makes you feel better, you may replace "opportunity" with "experience" and share John Miller's conclusion that, "If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be." Metamorphosing problems into opportunities (or experiences) is splendidly captured in the quote, "A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." (David Brinkley Television Journalist)

And bricks will be thrown at us, all right! Sometimes for real, and sometimes just because we perceive them that way. Whether it's at work, home, or at social meetings, we could always find something to bring us down; may it be a remark, a look, a seemingly denigrating grin (that might not even be meant that way!), or our own general feeling of insecurity and discomfort.

The most capturing definition of attitude that I could come across is, "a complex mental orientation involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways"

Although one might think that the attitudinal issue is a worn out and overly known one, there are numerous examples out there, everyday, that demonstrate that attitude is still an art beyond reach for some people. Ochalla, Gall and Casperson (2002) explain that "[...] Many business professionals are unaware of the attitude they convey. While they may be doing all the physical things correctly-such as giving firm handshakes, correctly saying the client's name and dressing appropriately-their attitude sabotages their business success." Ochalla, Gall and Casperson then dive into issues such as lack of respect, being preoccupied, interrupting clients, displaying nervous or annoying mannerisms, and using unfavorable speech patterns.

Yet, the abovementioned is just a detail of the attitudinal theme. The broader scope is even more compelling. It deals with everything that happens to us. It deals with life in general and what we make of it. "Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it." (Irving Berlin)

McLaughlin states in her article "Attitude is everything," that "most of the problems we experience on a daily basis can be overcome with an attitude adjustment. We all know that we cannot change another person or a situation that happens. What we can do is change the way we view things." McLaughlin continues, "I don't see things as "good" or "bad", they just are. We can learn many valuable lessons by what is going on around us but we do not need to experience these happenings as devastating. We can look at the various situations that occur and people in our lives as opportunities for growth. We can ask ourselves, "What is it that I can learn from this experience?" It's an extensive way of saying what Norman Vincent Peale captured in the short sentence, "Change your thoughts and you change the world," or like Lena Horne preferred to present it, "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it."

In the past few years I learned some important lessons from the bricks that were thrown at me. Here are some of my lessons that I can share with you: