November 28, 2001

(1:08)

I guess I have made my decision.  I guess I can’t deny it any more.  I am so in love with the guy it isn’t even funny.  What’s funny is that his brother is right and one of us has really got to just tell the other one.  I still have this nagging feeling of a conspiracy though.  I don’t know, I guess I have a lot to learn about trusting people. 

            What if I’m wrong though and I don’t really like him.  What if I just want to like him?  On the other hand what if I am just pretending not to like him because I am afraid and if I pass this up it might be the biggest mistake of my life.  I so love talking to him.  I like the way he giggles all the time.  I like the way we pretend we are going to get married someday.  I like that he makes me smile.  I like the way I act cute when I talk to him and I can’t wipe the grin off my face even when I’m mad at him.  I like that I don’t care how young he is because really I don’t care.  I like the way he is young because I get to be sillier.  I love that his world revolves around me.  I love that I don’t even think he is being mean to me when he really is because I just think it’s cute.  I love when he says that he is going to dream about me because it is so adorable.  I love that he is willing to change for me when we get married when I won’t even quit smoking.  I love it when he said I wouldn’t be smoking in OUR house.  I actually thought it was cute when he called me goofy.  I love that he knew my webpage did actually have stuff on him because what is this.

            I could probably go on for a while longer, I know I could.  His jacket has even grown on me.  But you know what I can’t think of one bad thing… except maybe that it sucks that he is as shy as me…