Chapter Twenty-two

Howie drove around aimlessly for two hours, just thinking. When he finally returned home, he was greeted by the ringing of his phone. Shuffling his feet, he made his way to his office to answer it, not bothering to turn on any lights. Stinker followed quietly behind him.

“You’re outta your mind!” AJ exclaimed.

Howie held the phone away from his ear and let AJ rant at him for a moment. He sat at his desk, tiredly rubbing his eyes and wishing a hole would appear in the floor and just swallow him up right this instant. It would put an immediate end to all his problems.

“You walked out on them! Howie! How could you?!”

He should have known that John would call AJ and tell him what he’d done. John always called AJ anytime Howie did something stupid and didn’t want him to know about it. This time was no exeption.

“Howie! Are you even listening to me?”

“I’m here, Aje.”

“What are you going to do about this?”

“I don’t know.”

“Howie, I’m so tired of hearing you say that phrase.”

“I’m tired of saying it, but the truth is, I just don’t know what to do.”

“I do.”

“Oh shut up. You don’t know how hard this is for me!”

“Do you know how hard it’s gonna be for you when she leaves your sorry ass?” AJ said harshly.

Howie was stunned. AJ never talked to him like that!

“You really think she’ll leave me?” he asked timidly, his voice shaking.

AJ’s tone softened at the sound of hurt in his friend’s voice.

“I would hope not. I would nope she’d be understanding and realize why you’ve done what you’ve done. But come on, D. Put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself what you would do.”

Howie let his head drop to the desk, still holding the phone to his ear.

“I’d leave,” he whispered. “I’d leave.”

AJ sighed and mentally patted Howie on the back. “Look, I’ll give you a buzz tomorrow, okay? Get some sleep.”

“All right. G’night.”

Howie had just replaced the phone in its place when it rang again. Groaning, he considered letting the machine pick up. But if it was Lori, he didn’t want to miss her.

“Hello?”

“Howard? I was hoping you’d be home,” his mother said.

“Hey, Ma,” he said, leaning back in his chair so Stinker could hop into his lap. “How are you?”

“I’m just fine. How are you? Are you eating well? Are you lonely?”

Howie laughed softly. “I’m great, Ma.”

“Good. Well, I just called to say your dad and I were wondering if you were busy tomorrow because we’d really love it if you came for lunch. We miss our baby boy!

”No, I’m not busy. I can come over.”

“Wonderful!” Paula Dorough said happily. “We’ll see you around noon then?”

“Sure thing. Say hi to Pop for me.”

“I will. Love you, son. Good night.”

“’Night.”

Howie replaced the phone and petted Stinker.

“Okay, baby, off the lap. You’re heavy!” he said.

She wasn’t so little anymore, and she was clumsier now than ever. It seemed that her paws were growing faster than she was, causing her to stumble over her own feet.

“Ready for bed, girl? It’s late.”

She nodded and took off for her special basket in the den. Howie stumbled up the stairs and fell into his bed, fully dressed. Within minutes, he had fallen into a fitful sleep.

Howie recognized John’s car in the driveway of his parent’s house as he pulled up to the curb. He frowned. His mom hadn’t mentioned John being there.

“Hey, man, you’re late,” John said, meeting him at the front door.

“Twenty seconds, hardly cause for concern.”

“Yeah, well, get your butt in here. Ma misses you.”

They went inside to the dining room where their parents were bringing hot dishes from the kitchen and setting them on the table. Howie hugged them both. It felt so strange to be “visiting” them.

“Sit, sit,” Hoke Dorough said, motioning to the chairs.

They all sat down and Howie said grace. They chatted comfortably for a few minutes before Paula cleared her throat and said casually, “So tell us about this girl you’ve been seeing, Howard.”

Howie shot a murderous glance towards his brother, who sat there chewing innocently.

“Um, well, her name’s Lori Haberlan,” he said awkwardly, wondering exactly what John had told them. “I knew her a few years ago before she left town.”

Paula nodded. “And now you’ve met up with her again, that’s so nice. When do we get to meet her?”

Howie pushed food around on his plate with his fork. “Well. . .”

“Maybe when you tell her your real name?” his mother prompted.

Oh, John, you’re so dead! Howie thought.

“Mama, I --”

“I don’t want excuses, Howard. I want to know why you’ve been using your old stage name with this girl, who seems to be very much in love with you, from what your father and I have heard from John. I thought we taught you better than to lie.”

Howie’s ears were turning red. The worst thing in the world was to be caught in a lie by your own mother! He looked to John again.

“Hey, I didn’t know you hadn’t told them about her,” he said, wiping his mouth with his napkin. “But I figured that maybe they could talk some sense into you about your little charade. Last night was it for me.”

“I’m handling it,” Howie said through clenched teeth.

“Do you love her?” his dad asked.

“Yes.”

“Then why the lies?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Take your time,” Hoke said.

Howie suddenly felt like he was five again and being scolded for pushing John off his bike and blaming Polly.

“I guess I thought this was my chance for someone to get to know the real me, not the showbiz me. She doesn’t know anything about the Backstreet Boys, except that they’re a music group. She doesn’t know I’m one of them. She loves me for who I am, not because I’m famous.”

Paula shook her head. “But being a Backstreet Boy is who you are, honey. You can’t change that. And lying about it will only make her hate you for deceiving her. Think about it. She’s in love with Tony Donetti, real estate agent. She has no idea who the real Howard Dorough is because you haven’t allowed her to see him. You’ve hidden him. Does that seem right to you?”

Howie hung his head. “No,” he whispered. “But I don’t know how to tell her now. Everything’s gone too far. Even the guys are in on it!”

Hoke tapped the table with his fork. “Well it’s time to get them out of it, wouldn’t you say? You’ve got to tell her the truth, for two reasons. One, it’s only fair for her to know, and two. . .” He glanced at his wife. “Because your mom and I want to meet her. John has had nothing but good things to say about her, and we’re anxious to see if it’s all true.”

“Oh it is, she’s perfect! She’s smart, and funny, and so beautiful, and I just love her so much,” Howie gushed.

“Then don’t you think you should tell her about the Backstreet Boys?” Paula urged.