WELCOME
TO MY
MEMORIES
OF KEEFER
By Nicole Hamilton
The Memory Of Keefer To Me
The day I’ll never forget is the day I went
to the bar around Christmas time. The air was cold,
the snow covered the ground, and the frost covered
the windows. This night to me was just another wild
weekend at the Voodoo. No one expected what
was to happen next. No one expected
the pain that a family was about endure.
December 23, 2000, was a night I would never forget.
There was dancing, drinking, socializing
people, and music. A couple of my friends
and I decided to go out. Of course we
were
missing one, Jackie had to work at a local bar.
Her brothers were there, one in which I was dating.
The party unfortunately went on without her,
but she had to work to support her two children
Keegan 1 ½ and Keefer 3 months.
Keefer was a gorgeous brown haired,
blue-eyed chubby baby, he was so happy.
I had played with him earlier that day
at
his nana’s house. He always smiled and laughed.
He loved to glide back and forth in the swing
and sit in his car seat and giggle.
On that cold frosted night our luck changed
for the worst. About 1:45 a.m. we were
leaving the bar and one of my friends
had missed a call on her phone from Jackie.
My friend listened to the message and
Jackie was beeping in, so she switched over and
Jackie told her something has happened with
Keefer. I didn’t believe my friend so I
called her back and she told me something
had happened. I knew by her crying hysterically
that she was serious so I told my friend
to go back around the block so I could get
her brother. I saw him walking. I jumped out
of the car, I think it was still
moving at the time. I grabbed him crying,
screaming, telling him we need to go to the
hospital because something happened to Keefer.
We got in his car and started to drive.
We had to pull over because his
windows were frosted over. As we pulled over
he called his mom. I could see he was crying
and his voice sunk real low as he
asked his mom if it was true about Keefer.
His mom told him he needed to get to the hospital.
We arrived before the ambulance.
The time passed and it seemed like forever.
Jackie rocked back and forth as I held her.
I remember looking at her with her blondish
shoulder length hair and big blue eyes
that were puffy and red, and swelled with
tears as she kept repeating,
“ not my baby, he’s got to be
alright.” Soon the doctor came in and he
announced that they tried everything they
could, but the baby didn’t make it.
He diagnosed him with SIDS.
This had to be the worst Christmas Eve ever.
They let us all go in and say our goodbyes
to Keefer. When I went in I saw Jackie and Andy
sitting on the bed and she was crying
repeating, “ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”
What happened was not her fault. It was no ones fault.
It was an act of god. This was his time
and now he’s in a better place.
Andy a brave soul was hurting, but
was
brave for his sake and the
sake of his girlfriend and remaining son.
Jackie’s mom and grandma had to be the
strongest two people in the bunch.
They kept everything together.
Her brothers took it hard. One had a hard
time showing his feelings and letting
them out, the other not knowing how to control them.
He has to be one of the most
sensitive guys you’ll meet.
Although this is not my family, I have been
there since the day Keefer was born,
I also felt attached.
I as well as the others probably felt that
his death was the worst thing that could happen,
but the truth is letting him go was worse.
They passed him around to everyone to say
their goodbye’s that night.
I remember holding a pale, lifeless beautiful
baby with dark hair, and a
perfect mouth and nose with the
tiniest hands and feet, in my arms
as I rocked him and kissed him good bye.
I also watched one of my closest
friends lose one of life's most precious things,
she held him tight and kept his body covered
up so he wasn’t cold, the whole time
while rocking him and singing a faint
song I can’t recall.
I guess life works in mysterious ways and
when god calls on you or your
family, you might not think it’s time,
but it is. There are lessons to be
learned in life. Keefer’s life was one of my best
lessons. He was the lesson of love.
However this may be the saddest lesson learned.
He will always remain her sunshine.
He’s an angel in the clouds.
He’s a gentle breeze hitting her skin.
He’s anything that reminds you of the life he lived.
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