MOM quotes :)
"I always thought he was a cocky self-centered little prick!"
(when asked what she really thought of my ex)
"Would you have listened to me if I had?"
(when asked why she didn't tell me the above sooner)
"Stop saying that! You are NOT stupid!!"
(but I really AM stupid!!)
"See if I ever take you guys shopping ever again!!!"
(after 20 min. in the store with 5 teenagers running around
like children and giving her shit)
"We're gonna go get some shit out of storage"
(after grandma complaining about her saying shit to much)
"I can't take you two anywhere!!"
(after me an Brany started a perfume fight in the store -
had to drive home with all the car windows open)
"DON"T drive toward the light, you scared the hell out of me!"
(after taking me to drive at night for the first time)
"You little shithead!"
(can't think of a particular reason for this except that I
did something smartassed)
"Doesn't everyone want a thermos up their ass?"
(after dad put a bear on top of his thermos)
"She didn't like it when I chewed on her toys."
(playing the dog for her grand-daughters)
Dad quotes :)
"We miss you, wish you were here...Oh, no, girl talk, OK maybe
I DON'T wish you were here!"
(when I called on their anniversary)
"I want a corn dog!"
(whined repeatedly at high volume in the park last summer)
"Don't tell them that"
(who knows what I said but it was probably the truth)
"Crackhead!"
(My mom's new nickname I guess)
"Lay off the crack pipe."
(his response when mom does something kind of stupid)
"Mom, my balls are all wet!"
(He shouldn't have shot them into the sink!)
"Damn it I dropped my nuts."
(Hmmm)
"Ya asshole."
(To me when I said the above was goin on this page)
NotMe quotes :)
"I'm not a girl, girls are annoying! And they don't make any
sense"
(when someone told me I'm a girl)
"Do I sound happy now?!"
(when my ex said, "I just want you to be happy" - His dumbass
response? "exactly" - What did THAT mean?)
"What exactly IS good biting anyway?"
(and received a demonstration at the table in Perkins)
"Mom, what's a walking fossil?"
(you'll have to ask for an explanation on this one,
to much to go into here)
"Not to say that you suck or anything but, YOU SUCK!!"
(said as driving past my work place - have a way with words huh)
"Travis, you're an idiot"
(and he says he never misses me when I'm not at work - I can't
imagine why)
"AHHHHHHH!!! Ahhhh! Ah! Ah!"
(Ok, so I didn't actually say that but I was thinking it as I desperately tried not to bang my head against a wall - I love my job)
"I talk good"
(every time someone gives me shit about the way I talk)
"But she IS a bitch! She's always been a bitch and as far as
I'm concerned she'll always be a bitch!"
(when my ex told me I shouldn't say the word bitch cause it
bothers him)
"quicherbichin"
(someone was bitching and I was telling them to stop)
"You know what's REALLY weird? Watching your husband and your cousin make out!"
(Boy did her face turn red!)
"Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Wrestling is on tonight! I'll have to be sure to miss it!"
(*grin*)
"I quit I quit I quit I quit I quit I quit I quit..."
(One of my better nights at work)
"No Pica-Pica!"
(trying to let my roommate know I'd rather if she didn't bring her giant Pikachu along to Perkins.)
"No killing co-workers, it's against the law."
(I love my job, really I don't.)
"I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid of seeing you without your clothes on."
(to Paul)
"My balls are harder than yours are!"
(during slingshot wars with my dad)
"You're the one shooting your balls at me!"
(to dad after he complained that he couldn't find his balls)
"I've never stripped anyone with my toes before!"
(Start with untying the shoes and go from there - takes forever - especially if James doubleknots his damn shoes!!)
"How about if you go fuck yourself?"
(R.S. was getting on my nerves at work.)
"I swear he said 'in the hands of Dog.'"
(at my great-grandma's funeral)
"Mine's bigger than yours is!"
(to Paul about forks)
"DO NOT TAKE."
(written on 3 of the door stops I stole from the bathroom)
"Jason don't dance though."
(talkin to Dustin about someone we've both worked with)
"So maybe they'll turn the heat on and Nylita will die in a freak accident."
(Hoping for a little problem solving)
"Why? It won't hurt nobody... just make them cry a little."
(to Dustin about my plastic bat)
"Paul won't give me any of his cookies. He's such a miser. If I could afford cookies, I'd share."
(to Dustin)
"Esplain it more clearly. Try: 'I gotta go to class at night, bitch!'"
(Advice to Dustin about how to get his dean to put him on a night class schedule)
"Like 'oops, she stepped out infront of that moving train' or 'What do you mean it's antifreeze? I thought it was blue Kool-aid.'"
(suggesting how a certain someone could have a terrible accident)
"Maybe he'll slow down his fast track to Alcoholicsville."
(to Dustin about our brother)
"Once I figure out how to talk, I'll start this thing."
(presentation time)
"Like you've never seen my naked feet before."
(to Paul)
"Emmy's got a screw loose!"
(No, really, she did.)
"Have patience you sugar filled freak!"
(To Paul after he had a box to many cookies)
"Yeah, it's like a cult only without all the fun brainwashing."
(when my folks said I had a following cuz some kids were following me around)
"I want a dog that's so quiet you don't know it's there till it's biting you in the ass!"
(walking past loud dogs at night...)
"I don't wanna be polar bear shit!"
(You'd have to read Em quotes to understand...)
"Josephine the masterbating porno queen!"
(Hello Joe, waddya know? tee hee)
"I could use my knives!"
Dale: "To butcher the English language?"
Notme: "Yeah!"
(grin)
Perry quotes :) Shuri quotes :) Josh C. quotes :) Nick quotes :) Cody quotes :) Christian quotes :) Gracelyn quotes :) Sadie quotes :) Brianna quotes :) Lillie quotes :)
Cory quotes :)
My little brother.
"Shhh, don't tell them that!"
(he's so much like my dad it's scary)
"You can take the Bill off of the farm but you can't take the the farm off of the Bill."
(They were discussing something about goats and sex...)
"Just for that I'm gonna give you another hug!"
(I don't know what I did but I'm sure I didn't deserve THAT!)
"But father!"
(a quote from his favorite cartoon)
Dustin quotes :)
My youngest brother.
"Bite me!"
(and then Cory did - be careful what you ask for little brother - teehee)
"You bastard!"
(after he was informed that I'm a bastard, he found it so funny that he said it many many times.)
"God ya fuckin fish, give me my pop back."
(fish drink pop?)
"Guess what. You are going to love this."
(On his way to BAD NEWS)
"Mom says you need to get a life."
(relaying a message over ICQ)
"Mom says if you're gonna hit them, hit them where the bruises won't show."
(about me taking my bat to work)
"Dad says Yes fucking mam."
(passing along comments on ICQ)
"Good-bye Shithead."
(Can you believe he'd call me such things?)
"She's writtin down some of the stuff we say. She's gonna put it on her website and we're gonna be famous."
(about me)
"I want my arm out. It hurts."
(to Shuri)
Brany quotes :)
My cousin.
"I am not having a kid. A kid is a goat!"
(when she was pregnant with the Cody monster)
"I'm sorry"
(then I hit her and she said she was sorry for saying she
was sorry so I hit her again)
"What is it you're supposed to say when you're drunk? Oh, yeah, I love you man!"
(But we were NOT drunk!)
"Come between my legs, Honey."
(to Me)
"I'm not wearing my bra and underwear like I thought I would."
(to Perryo on the phone)
I had some difficulty deciding where to put this one. He's my ex-husband.
"No more drinking for you!"
(Brany wasn't drunk! Nither were I!)
"Can you imagine what the title of that show would be?"
(When we were discussing what would happen if one of us took him on a talk show.)
Dustin's EX!-girlfriend-fiancee-type-thingy
"Well, don't stick your fingers where they don't belong!"
(To Dustin - ears)
"I'm gonna pull it off!"
(to Dustin)
"I'm sorry. You want me to bite it off so it don't hurt no more?"
(to Dustin)
"It won't come off!"
(to Dustin)
"Now I can say I've felt Angel's bone."
(don't ask)
"Butt Wanker Butt Wanker"
(who knows)
My cousin
"I only wore a dress for a school project."
(who knows)
"Seth why did you take a peice when I offered it to you?"
(Uh... Monopoly?)
"Slap me around and call me stupid."
(I was gonna but he wouldn't let me.)
My cousin Dee's ex-husband
"Don't make me get up out of this chair!"
(When I was picking on him about not being able to get between the tent posts)
"I'm gonna rip off my leg and beat you with it then!"
(When I said he couldn't kick me)
"Josh how could you do this to me after all we've been through together?"
(*grin*)
My cousin Brany's little boy
"I can't find my big blue ball."
(*eeevil grin*)
My cousin Lacey's little boy
"Wanna hear a joke? What does pumpkin start with?! hahaha."
(I dunno...)
"Oh my cow!"
(lol)
"I'm gonna take you back to WalMart!"
(The dog made him mad.)
"Put the alien infront of the car."
(followed by a crash and evil laughter.)
"You're a photographer!"
(As far as insults go, this one packs less punch than "buttcrack".)
My cousin Lacey's little girl.
"Babies cry when you drop them."
(after dropping her doll.)
"Gretel broke mommy's computer."
(blaming the cat again.)
My cousin Lacey's oldest girl.
"Angel, you're funny."
(MEAN! I was being MEAN damn it!)
My cousin Lacey's little girl.
"I don't get it."
(she says this a lot.)
My cousin Lacey's little girl.
"I only get dressed by myself when you're not here!"
(to her mom.)
